So what can we conclude from his testimony? That America’s Attorney General is quite a trolling con artist and not as just and proper as his supporters claim he is. The Mueller report lasted 2 years and cost the taxpayers almost 5 million dollars. So you no what? Americans have a right to see every bit of that report. We paid for it, we get to see every sentence, every word and every period…NO REDACTIONS!!!
We here at the Bucket also noticed that the corpulent Attorney General bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon troublemaker Peter Griffin from the animated sitcom Family Guy. But don’t worry folks: Bill Barr is only trolling America for fun and profit – heh-heh-heh-heh.
Attorney General, Trump obfuscator and corpulent Republican troll, Bill Barr, bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon numbskull Peter Griffin from Family Guy and has even developed his own Griffin-esque catchphrase: “Heh-heh-heh-heh – I’m trolling America for fun and profit.”
So why are the Republicans throwing hissy fits and temper tantrums over AOC and her bold environmental plan? Because the Republicans are lackeys for the fossil fuel industries: coal, oil, gas and mining. These corporations, who don’t give a rat’s patoot about the environment only want to continue their profitable ride on the gravy train. Their industries have been undisputed kings of the world since the late 19th century. They’ve got money and power and they’ll be damned if they’re going to lose their empire to clean renewable energy. That’s why the appointment of former fossil fuel industry lobbyist Andrew Wheeler as head of the EPA has been greeted so favorably by the smokestack and tailpipe suckers; he’s one of them. It’s like putting the fox in charge of the hen house. In short; the chickens(us) are doomed. Hence, all the attacks on AOC and the Green New Deal.
We have no doubt that the kingpins of pollution and environmental destruction will promote Trump as a noble capitalist on a quixotic quest to rid the world of these horrible, energy efficient, evil, killer windmills and their dastardly queen, AOC. It fits right in with the insane, right wing narrative that Trump is somehow making America great again. Perhaps a movie is forthcoming? We present below what that blockbuster may look like.
Don Quixote Trump: The fossil fuel companies send noble capitalist and stable genius Donald Trump on a quest to save their dying, inefficient industries. Trump, together with his EPA stooge Sancho Scienza (played by Andrew Wheeler) and God (played by Mike Pence) battle the Evil Windmill Queen (played by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) and try to destroy her vast, horrible, energy efficient windmill army. Rated R for Regressive.
As usual, conservative Republicans have a very short memory. Did they forget already about the Benghazi hearings which lasted two years and produced zero indictments; the very definition of a witch hunt. And conservative Republicans never apologized once for their treatment of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama for that matter. Like we said on our previous post, the Mueller investigation was hardly a ‘witch hunt’ as it produced 37 indictments. Because Barr has been so secretive about the report, of course the public is wondering what it really says, especially when even in Barr’s summary ‘fer idjits’ – “While this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” – , Trump clearly wasn’t exonerated on the charge of obstruction of justice, which was the most likely offense that would have resulted from the investigation anyway.
So, in a nutshell: Benghazi, 2 years – 0 indictments; Mueller investigation, 2 years – 37 indictments.
Well, the big news this past weekend was the release of the Mueller report. And the news was…disappointing to say the least. We here at the Bucket, like the rest of America, bought into the narrative pushed by the corporate main stream media that Robert Mueller was this grand bastion of unimpeachable integrity. He did produce 37 indictments(34 people, 3 companies) including six former Trump advisers. This and the evidence provided by the media painted a pretty convincing picture that showed Trump and his associates did something wrong. Why did he and his subordinates lie constantly about their Russian connections if they were so innocent? Why has Trump never criticized Putin and has just about glorified him every chance he gets? Trump threatened Comey repeatedly in his tweets and claimed in videos that he fired James Comey because he didn’t want to be investigated about Russia. How many countless times did Trump threaten to end the Mueller investigation? But after two years, Mueller claims he didn’t have enough evidence of obstruction of justice but couldn’t exonerate him either. America witnessed the obstruction of justice first hand! What a bunch of bullshit!
Now Bill Barr claims that “there’s nothing to see here, folks” despite two years of investigation and 37 indictments and that we should just trust his biased opinion. Let’s face it folks, Bill Barr is nothing but a Republican hatchet man and crime obfuscator. He was brought in to kill the investigation like he did with Iran/Contra and that’s what he’s trying to do right now. America is for the people, by the people. If the FBI spent two years of the tax payers money running an investigation, then the American people have a right to see ALL of that report. Remember, how the Republicans pulled a Benghazi witch hunt on Hillary Clinton for two years and the result was zero indictments, no evidence of wrongdoing. And Republicans cried and used Benghazi to slander Clinton and Obama to win the 2014 midterms and 2016 elections. But the Mueller investigation wasn’t a witch hunt, because there has been – let us repeat – 37 indictments including several people closely associated with Donald Trump. Stephen Colbert did a brilliant assessment Monday night. Trump is still under investigation for a boatload of other things and despite Trump’s gloating, he is far from the innocent victim he proclaims himself to be.
Now, because the corporate main stream media has given constant coverage of Donald Trump and the Mueller report and all things Republican for the last three years (hell… the last twenty years), the orange haired man child just may win re-election in 2020. It’s now plainly obvious the fix has been in for the last three years. America got played! And now with Trump supposedly ‘cleared of any wrongdoing’, his knuckle dragging, racist, right wing authoritarian loving supporters will become even more emboldened. We’ve been waiting for Trump militias to form and now maybe they will with the help of Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. Trump certainly indicated that recently with his mention that his supporters may have to get tough with Democrats. We’ve learned many things about Trump since his rise to national prominence the last twenty years and especially since he’s become president and one of the most glaring is that if you give him an inch, he will take a hundred miles.
This whole affair stinks to high heaven. We’ve lost a little respect for Mr. Mueller and have completely lost faith in the American justice system. One thing is for sure: the leadership in this country is jam packed with wealthy, white, entitled good ol’ boys who want to stay in power no matter what and they’ll do anything to preserve their hegemony. It’s all bullshit. The media, the plutocrats, the Republicans and even some of the Democrats are playing the American people for fun and profit. They don’t give a shit about real Americans, the people of the 99%.
So what should we do? Keep on fighting. It’s springtime so that means there will be good weather ahead. Maybe groups of Americans can march peacefully on Washington repeatedly over the next six months and remind these blowhards what by the people, for the people really means.
America’s CEO/Dictator and ‘completely exonerated’ Donald Trump proudly proclaims his godliness to the masses while Attorney General and Republican crime obfuscator Bill Barr and former defender of democracy Robert Mueller passively look on.
Tucker Carlson, ‘journalist’ at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network and man with a perpetual brain fart. recently got himself in a lot of hot water. It seems that…brace yourselves…the Tuckwad is a bit of a white nationalist. Media Matters uncovered audio of Tucktard’s appearance on the Bubba the Love Sponge show (you can’t make this stuff up) and ol’ Tucknuts let loose with a torrent of misogynistic and racist gems. What’s more, in true Trumpian fashion, he has refused to apologize for them. Of course, this isn’t shocking to anybody who’s been paying attention since 2004. We’ve made note of his ‘journalistic integrity’ before (here and here).
We’re old-timers here at the Bucket and we remember another thinking impaired person from Mel Brooks’ classic comedy Blazing Saddles, the town simpleton Mongo. Yes, Tucker Carlson could easily be mistaken for him with the befuddled, eternally constipated look on his face. Mongo’s famous mantra could even be updated for the former bow-tie wearing douchebag: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”
Fox News ‘journalist’ and man with a perpetual brain fart, Tucker Carlson, bears a striking resemblance to another thinking impaired simpleton, Mongo from the 1970s Mel Brooks classic movie, Blazing Saddles and has even updated his famous mantra: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”
So what’s next for Michael Cohen besides much deserved jail time? How about a thrilling crime drama about an everyday goombah for a national criminal organization who turns state evidence against his crooked boss called ‘The Singing Rat’, rated T for Trumptastic.
The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.
Spineless sycophant Lindsey Graham fecklessly supports any crisis, real or imagined, that American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, comes up with, while Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell cowers in his shell.
But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.
Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.
America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, recently make a big deal that the Clemson national championship football team was making a visit to the White House. So did billionaire Trump break out the bucks to entertain these athletic lads with a fine dining experience? In true Trumpian fashion, he treated them to piles and piles of hamburgers and other junk foods from fast food chains. We guess he just assumed that since he loves this crap, everybody else must do it as well.
Trump also glaringly lied about the numbers served saying one time 300 hamburgers were served. Then he tweeted hilariously that a 1000 ‘hamberders’ were served. So if Trump isn’t lying, he’s misspelling…hugely. There’s that old adage that says “You are what you eat.” Well apparently, Trump is a pile of junk food.
America’s CEO/Dictator and junk food and ‘hamberder’ aficionado, Donald Trump, proves that you are what you eat.
But in the mean time, let’s devote a little time to one of our favorite people here at the Bucket, Michelle Obama. The former First Lady has been making the rounds promoting her best selling book, Becoming. But she caused quite a sensation recently when she showed up to an event wearing a pair of $4000 designer boots. Now we adhere to the Henry David Thoreau mantra of “Simplify, Simplify” so we all think that’s a bit much to be paying for a pair of shoes. Staff member and living fossil Chester Einstein grumbles about paying $20 for a pair of loafers at Payless. But we’re also aware that conservative Republicans, who preach austerity to their sheeple, regularly go out and spend gobs of money on extravagant, expensive material possessions (see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, The Bushes, etc…). For instance, take current First Lady Melania Trump…please. She regularly wears glitzy, lavish, ostentatious clothing: remember her ‘fashionable’ “I don’t really care, do u” jacket. But then Republicans bitch anytime Democrats spend even a little bit of money. Sean Hannity and the faux journalists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, threw a memorable hissy fit when Barack Obama ordered spicy mustard for his burger back in 2009. Oh the humanity!!!
So although we pinch pennies better than Jack Benny, we think Michelle Obama looked fantastic and we say “Go get ’em!” Who can forget her classy speech from the 2016 election when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” For normal, sane humans who believe in civilized society, these words are inspirational and right in line with the golden rule. But right wing, conservative, ‘christian’ Republicans only mocked and derided her. So, we’d like to suggest an minor update to our favorite First Lady for dealing with today’s Trumpian Republicans: “When they go low…put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***ing asses.”
Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to include some ass kicking of modern day Trumpian Republicans.
