These Boots Were Made For Kicking Ass

We’ve decided to kick off the new year with a positive, non-Trump (or at least a minimal-Trump) post. Since the Democrats are now in charge of the House and Nancy Pelosi is set to become the Speaker of the House, we’re feeling a lot better about perhaps some justice coming to American CEO/Dictator and ill-tempered man child, Donald Trump, after two years of lies and corruption from his administration.

But in the mean time, let’s devote a little time to one of our favorite people here at the Bucket, Michelle Obama. The former First Lady has been making the rounds promoting her best selling book, Becoming. But she caused quite a sensation recently when she showed up to an event wearing a pair of $4000 designer boots. Now we adhere to the Henry David Thoreau mantra of “Simplify, Simplify” so we all think that’s a bit much to be paying for a pair of shoes. Staff member and living fossil Chester Einstein grumbles about paying $20 for a pair of loafers at Payless. But we’re also aware that conservative Republicans, who preach austerity to their sheeple, regularly go out and spend gobs of money on extravagant, expensive material possessions (see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, The Bushes, etc…). For instance, take current First Lady Melania Trump…please. She regularly wears glitzy, lavish, ostentatious clothing: remember her ‘fashionable’ “I don’t really care, do u” jacket. But then Republicans bitch anytime Democrats spend even a little bit of money. Sean Hannity and the faux journalists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, threw a memorable hissy fit when Barack Obama ordered spicy mustard for his burger back in 2009. Oh the humanity!!!

So although we pinch pennies better than Jack Benny, we think Michelle Obama looked fantastic and we say “Go get ’em!”  Who can forget her classy speech from the 2016 election when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” For normal, sane humans who believe in civilized society, these words are inspirational and right in line with the golden rule. But right wing, conservative, ‘christian’ Republicans only mocked and derided her. So, we’d like to suggest an minor update to our favorite First Lady for dealing with today’s Trumpian Republicans: “When they go low…put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***ing asses.”

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to now say when they go low just put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***king asses
Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to include some ass kicking of modern day Trumpian Republicans.

Obama Made America Great Again

As Barack Obama’s term as the 44th President of the United States winds down to it’s last days and the dawn of the Trump era of corrupt corporate fascism begins, we’d like to offer our thanks and appreciation to President Obama.

He ascended to office back in 2009 with howls of derision from crybaby Republicans and hopes that he would fail. America was stuck in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan. The economy was reeling because of the failed policies of the Bush administration and the repeal of the Glass-Stegall act by both Bill Clinton and the Republicans. Despite bending over backwards to appease the crybaby Republicans, the GOP just wouldn’t do anything to support the President and that includes fighting tooth and nail to make sure that even the poorest Americans don’t have access to affordable healthcare. But Obamacare became a reality and millions now can actually see a doctor when they get sick. He also lessened our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan and he actually eliminated America’s greatest threat, Osama Bin Laden, much to the chagrin of jealous Republicans. Please review our archives for more details of Republican obstructionism.

Obama achieved many accomplishments during his two terms in office. We’ll just list the top ten highlights in this post, but they’re listed in depth on other pages like this one (which lists 400). Washington Monthly lists 50 here. In summary, thank you Barack Obama: you made America great again.

  • Passed Healthcare Reform so millions of uninsured Americans can afford coverage
  • Rescued the economy from the Great Recession with 15.5 million jobs added, unemployment down to 4.6% and reduced the deficit from 9.8% GDP in 2009 to 3.2% GDP in 2016.
  • Eliminated the world’s #1 terrorist Osama Bin Laden
  • Reduced America’s military involvement in the quagmires of Iraq and Afghanistan
  • Negotiated a deal to block Iran’s nuclear weapons development and submit to inspections
  • Passed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform act to re-regulate the financial sector because of the disastrous policies that created the Great Recession
  • Established and protected Net Neutrality
  • Improved America’s image abroad after George W. Bush’s disastrous administration alienated many of the United State’s allies
  • Strengthened civil rights for all Americans including the LGBTQ and non-religious communities
  • Normalized relations with Cuba after more than fifty years of a failed isolationist policy
Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.
Thank you Barack Obama for making America great again.

Awesome!

And to think, just a scant fifty years ago a picture like this was only a dream.

Fashion Smackdown

We saw an article on Slate that other day that commented that the most fashionable woman on the planet just may be Queen Elizabeth. Well, we couldn’t agree more! Here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue that comes to the same conclusion.

 

The much anticipated fashion smackdown between United States first lady Michelle Obama and French first lady Carla Bruni Sarkozy was spiced up even more with a third entrant, England's Queen Elizabeth.