Tag Archive for immigrants

Douchey Border Fearmongering

If there’s one thing Republicans know, it’s that when election time comes around, they can always ratchet up the fearmongering propaganda that there’s a border crisis that only the good ol’ GOP can resolve. They’ve been doing it during every election since 9/11. Remember in 2014, it was Ebola, Benghazi, ISIS, Obama and the border. How about 2006, ol’ Dubya and the GOP, trying to distract everyone on the clusterf*ck in Iraq, warned of an unsecured border and sent troops to secure it. They know that their core base of white christian conservatives react strongly to fear and there’s no better fear provoker than a bunch of illegal, brown skinned immigrants approaching the border. Gee, what a coincidence that a caravan of immigrants just happens to be approaching America and will make it to our border right around election time. Hmmm…let’s think like Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network… maybe the immigrants are nothing more than crisis actors being paid under the table by GOP operatives? Could this be fake news? A great big nothing burger?

This whole spiel is playing more like a Monty Python sketch. I mean the caravan is just inside the Mexico-Guatemala border, still at least 800 miles away from the nearest border in Texas, and almost twice as far to the Arizona border, but the media is covering it like this group was right at the U.S. border. Plus, they’re being portrayed by American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, like they’re a band of thugs and criminals and the media is buying into it. He’s even admitted there’s no proof of terrorists being in the throng. So here we are watching the slow motion advance of a band of unarmed, poor, desperate immigrants who are escaping violence in their home countries and meanwhile, our Republican leaders are lining up tanks at the border to mow down these ‘menaces’. There have been more people protesting Trump on any given weekend than there are people in the caravan and yet this band of walking immigrants is getting more coverage (especially Fox News) than any group of protesters. But the media keeps brainlessly repeating Trump’s narrative that there doesn’t seem to be a way to stop these marauding foreigners from making a run on our borders.

Which brings us to the racist fearmongering ads being run across the board by Republicans in Arizona. They are attacking all Democratic candidates as being weak on immigration and insinuating that candidates like gubernatorial candidate David Garcia, who are against building a wall, (like most Americans), would welcome with open arms illegal gun toting, drug taking immigrants. We’ve posted here before that illegal immigration has been dropping in recent years and since Trump has taken office, it’s down even more. A border wall is completely unnecessary. Not only that, it wouldn’t stop drugs from getting over the border. The cartels would just build more tunnels and find new routes for their drones and planes. A border wall would be a colossal waste of taxpayers’ money. Candidates like Garcia and Kyrsten Sinema want a common sense approach to securing the border and eliminating drug dealers. But leave it to the Republicans like Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), to push fearmongering border politics to try and win an election.

In a stunning display of political fearmongering, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), proclaims that his opponent, whose last name is suspiciously Garcia, will probably open up the border to all sorts of caravans carrying gun toting, drug dealing illegal immigrants.

In a stunning display of political fearmongering, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), proclaims that his opponent, whose last name is suspiciously Garcia, will probably open up the border to all sorts of caravans carrying gun toting, drug dealing illegal immigrants.

Bible Babble

The crap keeps coming at a fast and furious pace from the Trump administration, so it’s tough to keep up, folks. Among the myriad of events that occurred this past week is one where Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, boldly stepped to the microphone, thumped his bible and used a bible quote to justify separating children from their parents at the border and detaining them indefinitely, just like his Confederate ancestors did with the slaves and the Nazis did with Jews and other aliens they viewed as inferior. This is not new for right wing authoritarian fascists, who are obsessed with immigrants. We did a photo-toon back in 2014 where Capitalist Jesus said ‘Let the Children Suffer’ which covers the hypocrisy of the christian right wing. Electoral-vote.com provided an excellent analysis of the whole disgusting affair that covers all the bases very well, so we won’t rehash it here.

What we’ll focus on is why a United States lawmaker is using bible quotes for justifying law in 21st century America. Like the electoral-vote post says, when people quote the bible for justifying something, inevitably it devolves into just another game of dueling scripture. Why do we still give credence to text written by early Iron Age or even late Bronze Age ‘wisemen’ who, compared with today’s knowledge base, knew absolutely nothing about the world or the universe as it really is. We’ve mentioned before about how a person who accepts science is much more knowledgeable about everything because the science enthusiast accesses a much bigger database of knowledge than a religious person, who is obsessed with connecting to an antiquated and relatively small database. This latest example just shows that if the bible says that we should separate children from their parents for an indefinite period, then maybe the bible isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe we should probably be using some updated source of wisdom to help us make decisions in the 21st century and beyond.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III justifies separating children from parents by thumping his bible.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, lamely explains why separating children from parents for an indefinite period is right in line with the bible, which for some reason is now being used as the law of the United States.

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wall

Trump is closing in on the 100 day mark with very little to show for it. Other than his placement of Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court (which has more to do with Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and his fellow Senate Republicans using the nuclear option), he’s done nothing more than bomb Syria and bomb Afghanistan and those were done mostly to distract people’s attention away from the investigation into his ties with Russia during the 2016 election and give boners to journalists like Brian Williams and Fareed Zakaria.

Well, there’s been a clamoring recently about what Trumpty Dumpty plans to do with his promised wall, which he promised would be a done deal by now. The truth is the wall isn’t needed, most people don’t want it and it would be a massive waste of taxpayers money, much like Trump’s repeated trips to his posh, opulent Florida resort, Mar-a-lago, so he can play golf. During the Obama administration, illegal immigration declined (1 million unauthorized immigrants returned to Mexico) and will continue to go down (illegal crossing down 40% in Trump’s first month) because the United States has the biggest, most dangerous doofus, outside of North Korea, in charge of the country. The only deterrent we need is plastering the Donald’s face on welcome billboards at the border with some of his delightful words of wisdom and nobody in their right mind would want to come into this country. Hell, we don’t even want to stay in this country with the orange rage monster at the helm. So we say, we don’t need no stinkin’ wall.

The United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration featuring Donald Trump welcoming people from Mexico with his words of wisdom.

Instead of building an unnecessary, expensive border wall, the United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration.

Ben Carson’s Slavery Alternative Facts

We knew from Con-a-thon 2016 that Ben Carson was pretty inept, but Wow! Despite warning everyone that he wasn’t qualified to hold a cabinet position, Carson accepted CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s appointment to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) even though Carson had no qualifications.

Well in his first official address, Carson brought out some big time alternative facts by stating that African Americans came to America as immigrants ‘to a land of dreams and opportunity’. Yeah that’s right everyone. In the warped minds of conservatives, slaves were coming voluntarily to America to work their dream jobs of working sun up to sun down every day for no pay and maybe some food and water if they worked hard enough (thirty lashes if they didn’t). Remember when Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly tried to push that crap that slavery wasn’t all that bad on the public last year. Well, Ben Carson is now drinking the Kool-Aid and blathering this crap to the masses, thus proving how truly unqualified he is. Seriously, how was this man a brain surgeon. We wouldn’t even allow him to cut our steaks let alone cut into our brains.

Actor Samuel L. Jackson had the best retort to Carson’s inanity. He responded on Twitter ““OK!! Ben Carson …. I can’t! Immigrants ? In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!” Later he doubled down by stating “It strikes me as misguided, and, more than anything, for a person that is supposed to be as smart as he is, it smacks of ignorance. If you cannot proofread something and see for yourself that there is something wrong with this, then you really don’t need to be where you are, and you should probably do us all a favor and resign and go off into obscurity.” Bravo Samuel L. Jackson!!! We’d really like to see his character from Pulp Fiction, hitman Jules Winnfield, take up the issue with sleepy purveyor of alternative facts, Ben Carson.

Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson's alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson’s alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Sweden: Hot Bed Of Terrorism…Or Is That Tourism?

Another alternative fact was born this weekend at one of Donald Trump’s Nuremberg rallies in Florida. America’s CEO/Dictator made a huge deal about what a mess the world was in and then proceeded to talk about all the terrorism problems in Sweden…because…you know….when you think about hot beds of terrorism you don’t think of Iraq, or Syria or Afghanistan…you think of….Sweden. People in Sweden even spoke up and were wondering what the hell Trump was talking about.

The GOP enablers were quick to defend the orange haired rage monster by claiming he was quoting a story on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network about an increase in violent crimes, supposedly related to immigrants, even though statistics show that the overall crime rate has gone down since 2005.  But as we’ve found out already, facts don’t matter to Republicans…they just create their own alternative facts to suit their own agenda.

Unfortunately, thanks to the ever vigilant Donald Trump, the world has to cross Sweden off it’s list of likely tourist destinations.

Look what's happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

Look what’s happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

Ebola Is Coming! Ebola is Coming?

Remember those halcyon days before the election when the Republicans and, not coincidentally, the supposedly ‘liberal’ media were blathering on and on about how immigrant children were amassing at the border ready to flow into America and take everyone’s jobs; and ISIS was amassing at the border ready to take hostages and behead Americans; and of course the biggest threat of all, the Ebola virus was amassing at the border ready to infect Americans and cause a hideous and painful death. Not surprisingly, these fear tactics worked like gangbusters on the American sheeple. Lo and behold, Congress and the Senate are now filled with Republicans. Nowadays, there’s rarely mention of these menacing invaders ready to take freedom from every American. Surely, Ebola will resurface next year, when the Republicans need to scare the public into voting for Jeb Bush or whoever the Republican Presidential candidate is.

Rednecks discuss how Republicans scared away the Ebola virus and will now make everyone rich.

Some red state Republican voters discuss the brilliance of the GOP fearmongering campaign during the 2014 election, which not only scared away the Ebola virus but will certainly make everyone rich.

 

GOP Insanity Plea

Just when you thought the Republicans couldn’t get any more irrational… Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has decided to sue President Obama for doing his job. According to the increasingly mentally unbalanced Republicans who control the House of Representatives, they see President Obama’s perfectly by the book executive orders as overreach of his authority. This despite the fact that President Obama has far fewer executive orders than any of his predecessors. We like that President Obama has finally given up trying to be the Compromiser-in-Chief and that he has said that he is doing his job because Congress is not doing theirs. Booom! There it is!  But the House GOP may have taken the final step for placement into the loony bin when they demanded action from Obama on the influx of immigrants into the southwestern USA after suing him for taking too much action. Talk about wasting taxpayers money! So let’s get this straight: Obama is damned for taking action and he’s damned for not taking action. Yep! Get the straight jackets ready. Boehner and Co. are officially lip-diddling insane.

Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, explains that President Obama is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, dressed in his stylish new straightjacket, explains why people need to vote the Republicans out of Congress this November.

Let The Children Suffer

Hold onto your hats everyone. Conservative christian Republicans are upset at President Obama! Shocking right? Unaccompanied immigrant children have been crossing the border in record numbers this year and who’s fault is it according to the right wing christians? Obama’s of course, even though the surge is related to law to curb child trafficking passed in 2008 and signed into law by….George W. Bush. What should we do with all these children? Conservative christians have been screaming loudly about the only obvious solution…send the little varmints back. What a great christian attitude! That’s certainly what Jesus would have done…or at least Capitalist Jesus would have done it. Just let holier than thou Bill O’Reilly explain it to you. The new updated Jesus message on little urchins now reads ‘Let the Children Suffer’.

Capitalist Jesus says that the immigrant children should go back to Mexico or rot.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, updates his message on little urchins to now say 'Let the children suffer'.