Tag Archive for Wall Street

The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.

Sinking The Middle Class

The news is out on the Trump’s tax cuts and…surprise, surprise – refunds for the middle class are down and it appears the tax cuts only benefited the top 1% percent of Americans. But how can this be? American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump promised that every one would benefit. Could it be that Trump lied? Given that he’s gone over the 10, 000 lie mark just over two years into his presidency, YES, OF COURSE HE LIED!!!

We’ve commented before about how poor people view themselves as temporarily embarrasses millionaires and are cajoled into voting against their own self-interests by right wing propagandists, like Fox News, blaming everyone else but the real culprits (plutocratic capitalists) for their conditions. The scapegoats are always the same: minorities, people of color and people of different religions other than christianity – you know, people who are ‘different’. So these right wing, racist, conservative christians, although they are in the same boat financially as blacks, hispanics, other non-whites, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and atheists, will support politicians who create laws and policies that decimate the middle class and make their own lives even tougher. For example, the Trump administration has destroyed consumer protection regulations which make it harder for Americans to stand up for their rights and easier for corporations to do whatever the hell they want with no repercussions. With higher insurance premiums and no voice to change them, we’re all getting screwed. But it doesn’t matter to the racist Trump supporters, because at least non-whites are not becoming better off than them. So much winning. . . for corporations and plutocrats!

Trump supporters, despite being in the same boat financially as non-whites, amazingly vote against their own self interest for Republican lackeys who adopt laws and policies which reward plutocrats handsomely while simultaneously sinking the middle class.
Trump supporters, despite being in the same boat financially as non-whites, amazingly vote against their own self interest for Republican lackeys who adopt laws and policies which reward plutocrats handsomely while simultaneously sinking the middle class.

Boss Limhogg Barks Orders To GOP Lackeys

Here’s some political BS from our March 7, 2009 issue.

Talk Radio Personality Rush Limbaugh took a bold step last week at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington D.C. and proclaimed himself head of the Republican party. Limbaugh, sporting a black cowboy hat and southern style suit, announced that he would know like to be known as Boss Limhogg to which the crowd of sycophantic Republicans howled with an approving “gkew-gkew-gkew”.

“My fellow conservatives,” croaked Limhogg. “Remember back during the Iraq War when I said that we should never criticize the President and how un-American that would be. Well, screw that! We are the last bastions of true patriotic Americans and it is our duty to make sure that President Barack Hussein Obama, the magic Negro, fails at everything he does as President. He doesn’t truly represent Americans; he wasn’t even born in this country. His socialist agenda would be catastrophic for our poor bankers and Wall Street CEOs who are fighting valiantly to preserve the plutocracy that we’ve worked so hard to establish. He even wants to help those homeowners who were stupid enough to take those risky loans instead of the money lenders who bravely offered them. Why it’s the second coming of Stalin I tells ya!”

New RNC Chairman Michael ‘Roscoe’ Steele was the first to acknowledge Limbaugh’s unquestioned superiority. “I apologize for ever saying Mr. Limhogg was ugly or even worse, an entertainer. He’s the finest American I know and I am proud to be his right hand flunkey. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Georgia GOP Representative, Phil Gingrey, who openly criticized the radio personality in January, offered nothing but flattery. “I’m so sorry about ever saying anything negative about Boss. You’re the smartest person ever and I’ll always ask your advice on every issue from now on. I love you Rush, I truly do! Oh please forgive me Rush! Please oh please oh please! Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Many big names in the Republican Party raved about the new Boss. Former disgraced Republican Congressman Tom Delay praised Limhogg loudly and strongly. “Boss Limhogg is a great role model and I know all about role models since I am one. Every American should want to be like Rush: overweight, obnoxious, crass, rude, hypocritical, egotistical, and drug addicted. Why the world be a lot better place if we were. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Evangelist Pat Robertson said, “Why if Jesus Christ was right here in front of me, which he hopefully will be very soon, he’d be saying that Rush is what Christianity is all about. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani gushed, “I love Rush’s makeover. He looks like Boss Hogg and Johnny Cash all in one. I can see why he gets all the babes. Why if I were dressed up like a woman right now, I’d be all over that stylish tub of goo. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Dittoheads also expressed their support for Boss Limhogg. Cletus Dillman of Scarlet Thorax, Texas said, “I can’t stand the idea of being socialist. Everyone being equal and sharing things? As a Christian, I find that idea very offensive.”

Farley Kerwood of Beetle Meadows, Georgia said, “Ugggh. Rush good. Obama bad. Me hungry. Me want beer.”

Darryl Hull of Rebel Falls, Mississippi said, “I listen to Boss Limhogg everyday and I think he is such a regular guy. I would love to get together with El Rushbo and have a beer with him. That is if he ever steps foot outside his Palm Beach mansion or gets off the golf course at his country club. But I’m sure he’d acknowledge my presence.”

Boss Limhogg then dismissed his fawning minions. “In closing, we’ve got to get those Obama boys and keep our moonshine…er…money safe for all of Hazzard Coun…er…I mean the United States of America. Now everyone form a line so that you may come up here and kiss my ass” to which the audience gave a resounding “gkew, gkew gkew”.

New self-appointed Republican head honcho Boss Limhogg, dressed stylishly in his Boss Hogg/Johnny Cash ensemble, keeps his lackey, new RNC Chairman Michael "Roscoe" Steele in line.