Tag: Teabaggers

Trump Gets Respect…From Clowns

At a recent rally in a packed middle school gymnasium (you know those things seat tens of thousands of people) in Elkhart, Indiana, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and Vice President and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, cajoled the crowd with how they’ve made America ‘respectable’ again. Oh Really???!!! According to Newsweek, global respect for America has dropped to an all-time low under Trump. The willingness of other countries to trust the U.S. is also on the wane because of Trump. Only three countries, Greece, Hungary and Nigeria, saw a positive uptick for America. German Chancellor Angela Merkel has pretty much stated that Europe can no longer depend on America because of Trump. And Trump’s disastrous plan to pull out of the Iran deal has been met with almost universal condemnation. Top E.U. official Donald Tusk, has even said that “with friends like that, who needs enemies?” in reference to Trump.

So we don’t know what Trump and Mike Pence have been smoking but they are seriously delusional. About the only group (other than Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network) that Trump has won the respect of are professional clowns. That is because the daily actions of the orange haired man-child in the White House are making them look like rank amateurs.

Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.
Clowns have nothing but respect for the Grand Poobah of buffoons, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, whose daily actions make them look like rank amateurs.

Governor Ducey: The Teacher Troll

Arizona made headlines last week when teachers walked out of their classrooms on strike trying to get improved pay and teaching conditions. This on the heels of Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) half-hearted, perfunctory offer of a 20% raise in salary by 2020. But teachers counter that it doesn’t address other demands of the teachers like better pay for support staff, yearly teacher raises, a restoration of school funding to 2008 levels and no new tax cuts until the state per-pupil funding reaches the national average.

We mentioned before back in 2016, Ducey’s attempt to defraud Arizonans of public land to pay for education. Now, Ducey is using this offer of a raise as a blatant attempt at political posturing since he’s up for re-election this year.  Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we’ll just say he’s done jack squat in his four years. We’ve noticed on local television plenty of Ducey re-election ads touting his offer of settling the teacher strike just days after he offered the deal. Coincidence? We think not.

Not surprisingly, Arizona Republicans have started attacking the teachers, because that’s what they do. House Majority Leader John Allen, R-Scottsdale, said the strikes amount to class warfare creating “strife between the haves and the have-nots” and that taxing the rich is precisely the way to undermine economic recovery.  “I’ve never gotten a job from a poor person,” Allen added. What an arrogant asshole! Another Republican leader, Maria Sims from Paradise Valley, claimed the strikes are part of a national socialist movement (calling Joseph McCarthy). Sorry to burst your bubble, Ms. Sims. Teachers aren’t communist bastards; they just want a living wage and better working conditions.

There is some promising news for sane Arizonans. Last week’s special election in congressional district 8, which includes the old, white, conservative, retiree-from-the-Midwest bastion of Sun City served as a wake up call for the state’s GOP. Democratic candidate Tiral Hepinini lost by only five points to Debbie Lesko in a district that has gone overwhelmingly to Republicans in the past two elections. This has conservatives in this state sweating bullets. If there is indeed a blue wave sweeping the nation, with anti-Trump sentiment rising, it’s indeed possible that Democrats could actually make a dent in this state and considerably weaken the Republicans’ stranglehold (and we do mean stranglehold) on this state. A purple Arizona could very well be in the works and we’d love to see Trump supporter Doug Ducey back peddling his overpriced ice cream again instead of ‘leading’ this state.

In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.
In a grand move of political posturing, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) proposes a token pay raise to the greedy commie bastard teachers who actually want a living wage.

Ryan The Rat Jumps Ship

Paul Ryan made big news recently by announcing that he will not be seeking re-election for his congressional seat, thus ending his reign of mediocrity as Speaker of the House. Of course, this is after he emphatically denied rumors he was going to resign. We’ve had nothing but contempt for this Ayn Rand acolyte ever since he was Spiff Romney’s vice-presidential choice back in 2012. Go ahead: check our archives. Now, claiming that he wants to ‘spend more time with his family’, it’s obvious that he wants to jump clear of the exploding clusterf*ck that is the Trump administration, which he supported despite weak and ineffectual statements to the contrary.

Ryan proudly claims that he’s achieved what he wanted to do so it’s time to go home. But his dubious achievement is a tax cut which will only benefit the wealthiest Americans, add 1.9 trillion dollars to the deficit and burden most Americans in the future with the bill that they really can’t afford. This from a supposed fiscal hawk who cried and whined that Obama was adding to the deficit with Obamacare and then when Republicans seized power, they immediately augment it. So between Bush’s idiotic war in Iraq and Trump’s tax cuts, we’re talking close to four trillion dollars added to the deficit by Republicans, who are supposed to be the masters at fiscal responsibility. What a bunch of hypocrites!

Paul Ryan has been nothing but a lackey for the plutocrats of corporate America. We here at the Bucket would just like to say good riddance and don’t let the door hit your greedy, feckless ass on the way out.

Speaker of the House and Ayn Rand acolyte, Paul Ryan, plans to jump off the GOP sinking ship now that he's achieved his dream of giving plutocrats a huge tax break while burdening America with debilitating debt for decades to come
Speaker of the House and Ayn Rand acolyte, Paul Ryan, plans to jump off the GOP sinking ship now that he’s achieved his dream of giving plutocrats a huge tax break while burdening America with debilitating debt for decades to come.

Trump’s Newspeak Lackeys

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, continued his assault on democracy and the freedom of the press with his whining about all the ‘fake news’ media outlets who have the utter nerve to broadcast his ludicrous, insipid, asinine, daily statements. And then our mendacious, duplicitous liar-in-chief has the audacity to say the media makes him look bad.

But what is really Orwellian is the fact that Sinclair Broadcasting Group has recently sent out to its news affiliates scripted news that news anchors must read; if they don’t…they’re fired. Sinclair Broadcasting Group is a extremely conservative and extremely aggressive in pushing its agenda on America. John Oliver did an outstanding piece on them last July. It’s no surprise that they’re taking the Fox News (a.k.a. Republican Propaganda Network) route and blatantly calling any news which is critical of our orange haired man-child, as being fake news.

This latest stunt by Sinclair is frightening because it shows the right wing media outlets are moving us more and more in the direction of Nazi Germany’s propaganda machine (also very right wing) which so effectively and brutally killed any kind of free speech and free press, which are cornerstones of our democracy and separates us from authoritarian regimes like Russia and China. We find it ironic that for eight years, conservative Republican outlets like Fox News vilified, mocked and derided President Obama at every turn and yet Obama let them exercise their right to free speech. He didn’t threaten them or call them names. Now that Trump’s in charge, nobody can criticize him. Of course, Fox did the same thing when ol’ Dubya was the decider (if you’re not for Bush, you’re for the terrorists). The Republicans who allow this disgrace of a presidency to continue will hopefully be bitch slapped this fall by the voters. Then, maybe, just maybe, Trumpty-Dumpty will finally have his great fall.

A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump
A local Sinclair Action McNews team warns viewers of fake news while touting the totally not fake news awesomeness of American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump.

Spaceship Earth

The Trump administration’s assault on the environment continues to go unabated. We’ve commented several times on the Republican’s War on Science, so much so that we’ve created a category for it. But Scott Pruitt continues to dismantle our environmental protections, all to benefit the greed of oil, gas, coal, lumber, mining and other companies which have bought the loyalty of Republican ‘lawmakers’. Why this past week, Pruitt’s EPA announced it wants to lower gas efficiency standards for automobiles not only because that extra care and concern about the environment is cutting into the corporate executives profit too much but also because President Obama put them into place. And they’re auctioning off federal land for oil and gas development. Our capitalistic overlords are using up resources, killing species and fouling our environment like we’ve got a Planet B ready to travel to when we’ve completely trashed our own precious Earth. But guess what…there is no planet B!

One of the 20th century’s greatest scientific minds, Stephen Hawking recently passed away. We here at the Bucket liked Hawking, but editor Dex Rexter, who used to be a huge supporter of human space colonization (with memberships in the Planetary Society and the L5 society), after years of research on the subject, profoundly disagrees with many scientists, including Hawking and Bill Nye, who are calling for immediate human colonization of Mars and outer space. Yes, it would be fun to play Star Trek or Star Wars and zip around the universe in a spaceship. But to seriously consider extended space travel or colonization, we have to develop artificial gravity spaceships first. The best way to do this is the way the space station in 2001: A Space Odyssey did it: using a rotating wheel. The astronauts would experience centripetal acceleration, which would mimic the gravitational force humans need for normal activity. But we’re not even close to developing anything of that sort, which would be a colossal endeavor financially, not to mention logistically. And let’s say we actually get humans to Mars. We would have to completely terraform the surface and atmosphere to make it inhabitable: another gargantuan undertaking.

Like Buckminster Fuller stated a half century ago, we need to look at the big picture and see the Earth as what is it: a spaceship with all living things on the planet as inhabitants of the spaceship. Instead of continuing to befoul and pollute our planet like there’s no tomorrow, it is paramount that every human on Earth, to take action and conserve our planet. It’s necessary for people in the industrial, capitalistic countries to start eschewing materialism and living more simply, like the people in lesser industrialized countries, if we are to save our planet…and ourselves.

The bottom line is this: We will never find a better spaceship than planet Earth. It has everything we need to survive and live happy, peaceful, wonderful lives. The best, most efficient solution is not to put humanity out into the hostile environs of space or on a desolate planet like Mars, but for everyone to change our lifestyles and preserve the already spectacular life on our home planet: Earth.

Dear denizens of planet Earth: There is no Planet B. Let's start taking care of our own wonderful planet. The best spaceship possible is planet Earth.
Dear denizens of planet Earth: There is no Planet B. Let’s start taking care of our own spectacular planet.

Fox News: GOP Propaganda Machine

It’s hard to keep up with the flak generator that is the Trump administration, but this piece of news is straight from the DUH file.

In a bombshell, retired Army lieutenant colonel and news analyst, Ralph Peters, quit Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. In a scathing statement, Peters said “In my view, Fox has degenerated from providing a legitimate and much-needed outlet for conservative voices to a mere propaganda machine for a destructive and ethically ruinous administration.” Peters went on to lament on how the Fox anchors now shamelessly “dismiss facts and empirical reality to launch profoundly dishonest assaults on the F.B.I., the Justice Department, the courts, the intelligence community (in which I served) and, not least, a model public servant and genuine war hero such as Robert Mueller.” Wow! And this is from an ultra conservative hawk who thought the clusterf*ck Iraq War was a good idea, and called Obama a pussy. Of course, Fox News has obviously been spewing Republican Party propaganda since it’s inception over twenty years ago. This is crystal clear to anyone with half a brain. Hence, the DUH.

We’re not saying we like Peters now…far from it. It’s just that Trump and his propaganda channel are now officially so pathetic that staunchly conservative Republicans are abandoning ship or as Peters put it, he could not “in good conscience” remain with a network that “is now wittingly harming our system of government for profit.”

Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys hellbent on destroying the government for fun and profit.
Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys.

Rewind: John Bolton’s Image Makeover

The exodus of personnel from the disaster that is the Trump White House continues. Rumor has it that NSA advisor, H.R. McMaster, one of the few competent people in the Trump administration, is heading for the hills. The scuttlebutt is that everyone’s favorite mustachioed, hate filled, crusty curmudgeon, former United Nations Ambassador during the Bush Administration, John Bolton, is being considered for the NSA position. Bolton is an unabashed warmonger and would be disastrous not only for the country but for the world.

Back during Dubya’s days in the White House, we had a regular feature here at the Bucket called Probing Inquiries. Bolton definitely had an image problem (and still does) and desperately needed an image makeover so he’d appeal to a wider swath of Americans. How’d it turn out? You be the judge.

This is from our January 11, 2006 issue.

Probing Inquiries

Fantasticus - BilgeBucket GazetteJohn Bolton Softens His Image

The new controversial U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, recently hired a crew to completely makeover his image from a grizzled curmudgeon to a softer, more amiable statesman. Leader of the makeover team, world renowned fashion consultant Fantasticus, who is also responsible for the stylish makeovers of Katie Couric, Condoleezza Rice and Prince Charles’ polo horse Skippy, describes the different looks considered in the makeover odyssey. The final result will surely make John Bolton the most loveable U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations ever!

John Bolton with a Michael Bolton makeover.The obvious first choice was to make John Bolton look like the other famous Bolton in America, singer Michael Bolton. We thought the long locks, smoldering eyes and sex appeal of Michael would transfer well to John. We were wrong. Next!

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Donald Trump makeover.Next!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with an Easter Bunny makeover.We decided to try to make John Bolton more fluffy and lovable and who is more fluffy and lovable than the Easter Bunny. Well this just plain frightened our test group, which was made up of mostly children. I’m pretty sure they’ll probably have nightmares for the remainders of their lives. Next!

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Tyra Banks makeoverThe makeover was going downhill quicker than Bill O’Reilly’s ‘War on Christmas’, so I called in makeover diva, Tyra Banks, as a consultant. Tyra is known for her ‘fierce’ makeovers, but this look just creeped everyone out. Next! Hurry!

 

 

 

 

 

John Bolton with a Dame Edna makeover.WINNER! We fired Tyra immediately, but she was on the right track. Who’s more non-threatening in a masculine-feminine way than Dame Edna. This look will put his fellow ambassadors at ease and bring laughter and love to the entire United Nations.

 

 

 

 

 

GOP Wants Pistol Packing Teachers

We’ve commented many times about gun control here. We’ve even created a category. This subject seems like a no-brainer to most civilized, intelligent citizens. For starters, reinstate the assault weapon ban and mass school shootings will decline. All logic points to this action.

But American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and his Republican pals continue to lick the ass of their masters, the NRA, and push for ludicrous, asinine solutions. Just this past week Trump trotted out the old “let’s arm the teachers” suggestion to widespread and deserved ridicule. Then he backtracked and suggested that the cruel media was putting words in his mouth. Then he suggested that he’d run in and save the children. This from a man who got five deferments from Vietnam, one for bone spurs. He couldn’t even protect his son and wife from rain with his umbrella. And yet, Trump would charge into a school without a weapon to attack a shooter?  Not bloody likely!

Let’s make no mistake: arming teachers is a horrendous idea. Arming students is a horrendous idea. Voting for Republicans is a horrendous idea. Modern day conservative Republicans are broken human beings and need to be removed from any kind of position of power.  And Democrats, who also feed at the NRA trough, need to start stepping up to the plate, grow a spine and start pushing for legislation against assault weapons.

And as if on cue, this just in… there’s news that a teacher in Georgia barricaded himself inside a school and fired a gun. Hey Republicans…still think arming teachers is a great idea?

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.
In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump.
Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.
Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.