GOP Wants Pistol Packing Teachers

We’ve commented many times about gun control here. We’ve even created a category. This subject seems like a no-brainer to most civilized, intelligent citizens. For starters, reinstate the assault weapon ban and mass school shootings will decline. All logic points to this action.

But American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, and his Republican pals continue to lick the ass of their masters, the NRA, and push for ludicrous, asinine solutions. Just this past week Trump trotted out the old “let’s arm the teachers” suggestion to widespread and deserved ridicule. Then he backtracked and suggested that the cruel media was putting words in his mouth. Then he suggested that he’d run in and save the children. This from a man who got five deferments from Vietnam, one for bone spurs. He couldn’t even protect his son and wife from rain with his umbrella. And yet, Trump would charge into a school without a weapon to attack a shooter?  Not bloody likely!

Let’s make no mistake: arming teachers is a horrendous idea. Arming students is a horrendous idea. Voting for Republicans is a horrendous idea. Modern day conservative Republicans are broken human beings and need to be removed from any kind of position of power.  And Democrats, who also feed at the NRA trough, need to start stepping up to the plate, grow a spine and start pushing for legislation against assault weapons.

And as if on cue, this just in… there’s news that a teacher in Georgia barricaded himself inside a school and fired a gun. Hey Republicans…still think arming teachers is a great idea?

In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.
In conservative Republican schools of the future, no nonsense teachers will teach our children the importance of a good education beginning with how to use a gun.

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump.
Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.
Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

The Hypocritical Mulligan

We’ve commented ad infinitum over the last ten years about the unbelievable hypocrisy of the evangelical christians in this country. Well that hypocrisy was on full display last week when Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, stated that Donald Trump should get a mulligan for paying hooker Stormy Daniels hush money about an illicit rendezvous in 2006, when Trump’s wife Melania was recovering after giving birth to their son Barron.  The evangelicals had a cow when Bill Clinton had a affair, but when Donald Trump had one just after his son was born, they just turned their sanctimonious heads and look the other way. Wow! What a horde of HYPOCRITES!

And unfortunately the evangelicals will probably never be convinced on what a slime bucket Trump is. Millions of evangelicals “believe the election of President Trump represented God giving us(christians) another chance.” The Young Turks gave a thoughtful and frightening analysis of this, stating that because the ‘faithful’ believe God wanted Trump to be President and God is never wrong, the sheeple must therefore support Trump come hell or the apocalypse. So just like Donald Trump predicted on the campaign trail, he could probably murder somebody in cold blood and the sheeple would still support him. And people wonder why we’re anti-religion atheists here at the Bucket; when you can’t think critically about your leaders, or anything for that matter, you’re putting not only the entire country at risk, but with man-child Donald Trump in the White House, the entire planet.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, defends American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, for paying hush money to a hooker because who among us hasn't like that wild night in Jericho with Mary Magdalene.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, defends American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, for paying hush money to a hooker because hey…you know…who hasn’t.

GOP: The Government Wrecking Machine

The big news this past week was the government shutdown which showed to all how inept the Republicans are and how truly spineless the Democrats are and how truly screwed the American people are. The Republicans control the House, Senate and White House and yet couldn’t agree to anything. The Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, caved on DACA and immigration. We’ve mentioned before here at the Bucket, how we think that the Democrats and Republicans are just good-cop, bad-copping the people of America so that their corporate overlords can make ungodly amounts of money at the taxpayers expense. The latest tax bill sure benefits the rich at the expense of the rest of us. And the stock market taking off clearly indicates that Americans are beholden now to corporate interests: you better please Wall Street or else.

Of course, the Republicans are conning the nation like they’ve been since the days of Nixon; they truly put the CON in CONservative. They keep preaching that they’re the party of small government. But their actions tell a different tale. In addition to the shutdown of the government, which the Republicans didn’t really mind, just like 2013, all of Trump’s executive orders reversing the much needed regulations on industry and the generous tax bill, which pretty much kills any government income, seem to show that the Republicans don’t just want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! It’s no secret they want to privatize everything including infrastructure, social security and medicare and dismantle any government agencies which may provide protection for the average American citizen, like the Consumer Financial Protection Agency or the Environmental Protection Agency. This is a complete seizure of power by corporate America and their willing lackeys in congress who will bring down the government from the inside. Ladies and gentlemen; this is what a corporate oligarchy and fascism looks like.

The Republicans don't want small government, they want no government.
Thanks to the Republican party and American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Americans don’t have to be bothered with the burden of a democratic government and stupid things like laws and regulation.

Arpaio?! Seriously?!

In a stunner that we certainly didn’t see coming, Doug Jones beat bible thumper and teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, in a special election and will now be the first Democratic Senator for Alabama in 25 years. This will also hopefully put Moore out of the national spotlight(we’re absolutely sick of him), although he’s still got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do to the women he’s harassed.

So are what are racist, authoritarian, conservative, christian Republicans to do? Have no fear, wingnuts. Fresh from his pardoning by Donald Trump, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced that “he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering running for the U.S. Senate” in Arizona. Seriously…that’s right, folks: America’s favorite racist, authoritarian law enforcer says he may run for Jeff Flake’s vacant seat in 2018.

We thought the 85 year old Arpaio was losing it before, but this pretty much makes it official. He got thumped by Paul Penzone for a county level position, and yet he thinks he can seriously win a state wide election given his notoriety. If it wasn’t for his pal Trump, he’d be doing some time. Arizonans are sick of his schtick. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Retire already! Ride off into the sunset like a good former sheriff and leave the good people of Arizona alone. Because you know what…we’re seriously, seriously, seriously NOT voting for you!

Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he's seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him.
Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him.

GOP: The Party Of Moral Hypocrisy

With the special election for the Alabama senator coming up next Tuesday, the Republicans are walking back their earlier condemnations of Roy Moore and are now throwing their full support behind him. America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, said “We don’t want to have a liberal Democrat in Alabama, believe me.” Oh yes…we’d much rather have a sexual predator.  Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, who previously condemned Moore, now states, in typical Turtle Boy form, that he’s going to let Alabamans make the choice. And of course, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, who previously withdrawn support for Moore, has now said he’ll work with Moore if he’s elected while hypocritically saying that Al Franken, who has also allegedly done some groping of women, (though not teenagers), should resign as Senator. Alabama conservative, evangelical, christian Republicans are also fully supportive of Moore, one church even comparing Moore to Jesus. Who knew that Jesus liked to sexually harass teenage girls.

But unfortunately, Alabama is a deep red state and it certainly looks like Moore will probably win. And people wonder why no one wants to visit Alabama.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump and his GOP cohorts, Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and Lyin' Ted Cruz endorse teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, while claiming moral superiority.
American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump and his morally superior GOP cohorts, Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and Lyin’ Ted Cruz enthusiastically endorse teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, while condemning Democratic Senator Al Franken.

A Little Toxic Crude Oil On Your Vegetables

There’s one thing that is working well in the Trump administration and that is the flak generator of meaningless crap that America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, spews forth on a daily basis. This drivel distracts the general public from news like the Keystone Pipeline spilling 210,000 gallons in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago. Of course, this news flew under the radar thanks to our orange haired man child in the White House.

This leak came at a crucial time as construction of the Keystone Pipeline was up for approval in Nebraska. Many citizens of that state are concerned that leaks will become commonplace and ruin their drinking water, provide toxins for the cattle and destroy crops of vegetables. But unfortunately, in typical conservative fashion, Nebraska chose short monetary gain over environmental health. The Nebraska Public Service Commission voted 3-2 to allow the pipeline thus bringing potentially thousands of jobs temporarily but only about 50 permanent positions.

EPA chief and anti-science, know nothing lawyer, Scott Pruitt, (we openly despise this man!) always touts the oil industry’s position of how safe drilling and transporting the oil is. We’ve mentioned repeatedly the lies and deception Republicans spread about drilling.  It bears repeating this fact that there’s been 3,300 pipeline incidents since 2010. Yes, 3,300 incidents!!!! The fact is that numerous things can go wrong in drilling and extracting oil, especially in the midwest where temperatures regularly flux between brutal heat and mind numbing cold. Well, we hope Nebraskans enjoy a little toxic crude oil on their vegetables.

Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills, while a pliant rube touts his love of vegetables covered with toxic crude oil.
Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains to a pliant rube that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills.

The Ol’ “I Don’t Recall” Ploy

Once again, Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has broken out the ol’ tried and true “I don’t recall” ploy. We’ve commented before about his stonewalling. But recently, Sessions doubled down the tactic showing selective memory concerning meetings with the Russians. He stated that he had no recollection of the March 2016 meeting with George Papadopolous until he saw the news reports and then he suddenly remembered. So in short: Sessions said he could not remember much about Russian influence on the Trump campaign, except when he could block such influence.

One thing’s for sure: Sessions is sure doing conservative Republican icon, St. Ronald Reagan, proud. Whether it’s perjury or using the Department of Justice for political investigations or just out and out racism, Sessions is proving himself worthy of the greatest obstructionists in Republican history and considering the last seventy years: Allen Dulles’ CIA, Watergate, Iran Contra, the Iraq War, the Great Recession, etc… that’s saying something.

The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol' "I don't recall" ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.
The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol’ “I don’t recall” ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.

Sleazed And Abused

Controversial Republican candidate for Senator in Alabama and bible thumper extraordinaire, Roy Moore, has recently become even more reprehensible, if that’s possible. Moore is running for Senate in a special election against Democrat Doug Jones to fill Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III’s seat. But last week, a woman came forward and claimed that Moore initiated a sexual encounter when she was 14 and Moore was 32. Yikes!!! Talk about sleazy! But more women have come forward since. Today, a fifth woman has accused Moore of sexual misconduct when she was 16.

What’s even more disturbing than Moore’s seeming penchant for teenage girls are the boneheaded responses from Moore supporters in the GOP actually defending his actions. The stupidest was Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler’s response that “Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus,”. Wow!  In a unbelievable outbreak of good sense, some GOP senators, including Turtle Boy, Mitch McConnell, have stated that Moore should probably leave the race.

If Moore does leave the race, he can always go hang around with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson, from Dazed and Confused, and they can scope out the high school girls.

Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey's creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do.
Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do.