Tag: GOP

Trump’s Trumpeters

The first election of the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 is coming up this Monday and everyone is getting in some late minute BS slinging before Iowans go to the polls in the Iowa Caucuses. Donald Trump made quite a ruckus (what else is new!) this past week by bypassing the Fox News Republican debate this past Thursday because Donald Trump doesn’t like Megyn Kelly. Geez! For a tough guy, Trump sure is acting like a baby. But again, what else is new for this megalomaniac who recently bragged that he could shoot people in the middle of New York and still not lose voters.  While this statement shows how dangerously psychotic Trump is, it says more about how insane Trump’s supporters are because he’s actually right. Donald Trump could murder innocent people and his demented supporters would still vote for him.

Speaking of people supporting Trump, he’s got quite an eclectic list of celebrity endorsements heading into Iowa. Rolling Stone has another list. If you look at the lists, there are a lot of authoritarian, tough guy, manly men like Arizona’s own Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio, Hulk Hogan, Mike Tyson and Russian President Vladimir Putin who said of Trump “he’s a bright and talented person”. We guess it takes a tyrant to know a tyrant. We’re sure that Putin and Trump could team up and subjugate the hell out of the rest of the world just like Stalin and Hitler did. Of course, all of these aggressive egotists would rather fight and kill than use something peaceful like diplomacy.

On the female side, there’s Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, who gave the strangest endorsement speech of all time (we like Stephen Colbert’s mockery of it). Conservative harpie and living skeleton Ann Coulter, anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly and empty headed reality star Tila Tequila all are Trumpeters on Trump’s solid gold bandwagon.

But probably the strangest endorsement was by John Wayne. Although the Duke has been dead since 1979 , his daughter Aissa said that if John Wayne were alive today, he would endorse the Donald. You see Donald Trump’s 19th century mindset sits perfectly with the cowboy image embodied by the Duke. So to make America great again, we just have to make everything like it was back in the days of the Wild West (everybody’s got a gun; shoot first, ask questions later; tough, tough, tough; kill, kill, kill, etc…). We think Donald Trump’s motto should be, “We’re Going Back To The Future”.

Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, the ghost of John Wayne and Donald Trump all think that Donald Trump is great.
Megalomaniac GOP candidate Donald Trump modestly acknowledges his ‘greatness’ to his adoring fans like Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and the ghost of John Wayne.

Rewind: Rummy’s Iron Fist

A Donald popped up this past week that just about made us puke and it wasn’t Donald Trump. Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense during the Bush Administration and architect of the clusterf*ck known as the Iraq War, resurfaced this week to hawk an app for Churchill Solitaire on various talk shows. But what also popped up this week was a recently declassified Joint Chief of Staffs document which proves that there were no WMDs in Iraq and that the Bush Administration lied to the American people and should be prosecuted as war criminals.

Rumsfeld also popped up last summer trying to clear himself from wrongdoing about the Iraq War. Last June, Rummy said that ‘The idea that we could fashion a democracy in Iraq seemed to me unrealistic. I was concerned about it when I first heard those words.’ Of course this runs counter to his rhetoric back in the summer of 2006, when he assailed any critics of the Iraq War as intellectual and morally confused appeasers. It boggles our minds that anybody would listen to anything this man says about foreign affairs after being so utterly wrong about Iraq. He should be doing time in jail instead of making the talk show circuit selling his app.

Here’s a photo-toon from our September 17, 2006 issue which shows what ol’ iron fisted Rummy would do with the appeasers.

Iron fisted Donald Rumsfeld wants to crush the real enemies of the Iraq War; the appeasers.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld tells the pliant crowd at the American Legion convention in Salt Lake City, Utah, that critics of the Iraq War are morally and intellectually confused and that they are in fact appeasing the Islamo-fascists much the way Europe appeased Hitler in the 1930s, while conveniently ignoring the fact (or not) that he and the Bush Administration are employing Nazi propaganda tactics to suppress dissent in this country.

 

Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. – Herman Goering

Cruz Sez Diplomacy Is For Pussies

This past week, the Obama administration not only pulled off a prisoner exchange where they swapped 7 Iranians for 4 Americans who had been held for years on false charges, but they also got 10 U.S. Navy sailors, who had accidentally drifted into Iranian waters, released within one day. You’d think everyone, including the GOP, would be ecstatic over these displays of calm and cool diplomacy. But NOOOOOOOOOOO! The ridiculous, whining, crybaby Republican candidates for president did nothing but criticize the Obama administration saying the exchange made America look weak. Ted Cruz, Teabagger darling and the smuggest senator alive, even said that the only reason the sailors were taken in the first place was because of the weakness of Obama. Of course, the Republicans  would have started World War III and nuked them ’til they glowed because that’s what manly men do. Screw life on earth, there are gargantuan egos and pride at stake. Yes, there’s nothing like administering 19th century, ‘wild west’ philosophy in the 21st century.

Ted Cruz declares that diplomacy is for pussies and that he'd nuke Iran unitl they glowed.
GOP candidate and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives Americans a hint at what foreign policy would be like during a possible Cruz presidency.

 

The Ever Popular Mount Bushmore

There’s a reason that Jeb Bush is now the least popular Republican presidential candidate in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. It’s because he’s absolutely so out of touch that he thinks that getting his brother, ex-President, George W. Bush will actually help his campaign, saying that Dubya is ‘very popular’. Yes, in Jeb’s little world they’re replacing all the sculptures on Mt. Rushmore with replicas of Dubya and renaming it Mount Bushmore.

In Jeb Bush's world, Mount Rushmore will be remade into Mount Bushmore to honor his super, duper popular, ex-president brother George W. Bush.
In Jeb Bush’s little world, Mount Rushmore will be remade into Mount Bushmore to honor his super, duper popular, ex-president brother George W. Bush.

Out-Trumped

And then there were…still way too many.

As our last post of 2015, we’re giving an update of the travesty of democracy that is Con-a-thon 2016 (only 10 and a half more months of this shit).

Lindsey Graham and George Pataki are the latest ejections from the Republican clown car. South Carolina Republican Senator Graham suspended his campaign before Christmas and former New York governor Pataki ended his yesterday. Both were polling in the microscopic region. Of course, with blowhard Donald Trump bloviating  hot air and hatred 24/7, it’s not hard to figure out why nobody noticed them. We here at the Bucket would like to say we’ll miss these two, but we can’t…we just can’t. (Sweet Jesus, have we mentioned we still have 10 and a half more months of this shit!)

Nobody notices Lindsey Graham and George Pataki as Donald Trump bloviates hot air 24/7.
Lindsey Graham and George Pataki contemplate how people failed to notice their lackluster campaigns and uninspired messages of maintaining the status quo, while frontrunner, Donald Trump, bloviates something outrageous to the masses.

Rewind: Saddam O’Reilly

What would the holiday season be without a nod to America’s own, self-appointed ‘culture warrior’ and General in the ‘War on Christmas’, Bill O’Reilly. Yes, let’s look back of one of Bloviator Bill’s finest moments, from our July 7, 2006 issue.

Back in June 2006, the Loofah Master commented that Iraq should be run like it was under Saddam Hussein, because at that time, for those with no memory cells, the Iraq War was a clusterf*ck and going badly, because…well…George W. Bush and Dick Cheney lied to America and we invaded a country we never should have invaded in the first place.

Saddam O'Reilly proclaims that we should kill 'em all just the way Saddam Hussein did.
Fox News talk show host, Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, recently commented on his show that America should deal with the insurgents the way Saddam used to by brutally killing all opponents. This of course brings up the question, ‘If we’re going to do exactly what Saddam did, why did we invade Iraq?’.

If It Sounds Muslimy, Bomb It

From the unfrickingbelievable file…

In the wake of the recent Republican debate for the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016, where frontrunners Ted Cruz and Donald Trump announced proudly that they would carpet bomb ISIS in Syria, a poll conducted by the Public Policy Polling (PPP) found that 30% of Republicans and 41% of Donald Trump supporters were in favor of the United States magic carpet bombing the city of Agrabah. The only problem is that the city of Agrabah is the fictional city in Disney’s film Aladdin. But as evident in the last twenty years, facts and reality don’t matter to today’s right wing, teabagging, conservative, christian Republican. Their motto; if it sounds muslimy, bomb it!

Reneck Republican voters and Trump supporters say if it sounds muslimy, then bomb it.
Some red state Republican voters intellectually discuss the necessity of carpet bombing the very muslimy sounding city of Agrabah.

Flouting Godwin’s Law

At the risk of flouting Godwin’s Law, we’ve noticed how far to the right the Republican party has traveled over the past twenty years; specifically in the years after Dubya left office and with the rise of the Teabaggers. Now that Donald Trump has started to spew forth truly hateful rhetoric in this farce of an election called Con-a-thon 2016, comparisons to the NSDAP party(Nazis) of 1930’s Germany are not only inevitable, but necessary. Make no mistake, it’s not just Trump who believes this filth. Every Republican candidate believes it as well, especially Rubio and Cruz, who both have said some vile, nasty unchristian things toward immigrants, foreigners, gays, women, and non-christians. Although every single high ranking Republican condemned Trump for his words, they would absolutely vote for him and support him in the general election. Yep, Trump is the heart and soul of the current Republican party and it’s pretty ugly.

What grinds our gears though, is when right wing blowhards violate Godwin’s by bloviating and showing their ignorance by comparing Obama to Hitler. This is not only laughable but blatantly incorrect. History shows that the leaders of the NSDAP party were overwhelmingly right wing conservatives not leftists (For an excellent, informative read try Richard Evans’ Third Reich trilogy: The Coming of the Third Reich; The Third Reich in Power; and The Third Reich at War). They had a well oiled propaganda machine that spewed forth hateful rhetoric about minorities and foreigners who would serve as convenient scapegoats for all national maladies. They were against gays, democratic socialists (they would have killed Obama), immigrants, and unions. Women were second class citizens who would only be useful to provide further citizens for the nation. They promoted eternal warfare and invoked nationalism to incite citizens to join the military. They pushed for a strong military and were very friendly to corporations which fueled the military industrial complex.  They would regularly stoke fear in the hearts of the citizenry by claiming the aforementioned scapegoats were going to ruin their nation. They would regularly stifle opposing viewpoints by announcing that anyone who disagreed were enemies of the state and should be eliminated. Hmmmm…notice any similarities? We think Americans must take notice, (Godwin’s Law be damned) and be very concerned about this 21st century neocon Republican party that, according to its propaganda, wants to ‘make America great again’ just as a certain right wing conservative fascist party wanted to make Germany great again in the 1930s.

The modern Republican Party has some eerie and frightening similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany, a.k.a. the Nazis.
The modern Republican Party has some eerie and frightening similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany.

Mein Trumpf

Amazingly, Donald Trump is still dominating the Republican field in the charade that is Con-a-thon 2016. This, despite some rather recent fascist-like statements, like his wanting to keep all Muslims out of the United States. But this is all going according to plan for the Republicans, who are master con artists, propagandists and media manipulators. The sacrificial lamb Donald Trump, is making the extremists within the party, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, look sane by comparison, thereby setting them up to obtain the nomination next summer as the less dangerous choice. Ahhhh….Joseph Goebbels would be proud.

Speaking of which….just in time for the holiday season, The Donald has come out with a delightful new book, (reminiscent of another book by some 20th century German fascist),  explaining his fascist tendencies and his authoritarian vision for the future of the Holy Corporate Empire with its dictator…er…president, Donald Trump (or  shall we say Trumpf). It even has a picture of Herr Trumpf dressed in the fascist uniform of the 21st century; the designer business suit. Like the cover says…READ IT! NOW!!!!!

just in time for the holiday season, Donald Trump's new book, Mein Trumpf, makes an ideal stocking stuffer for the fascist in your family.
Just in time for the holiday season, Donald Trump’s new book, Mein Trumpf, makes an ideal stocking stuffer for the fascist in your family.

Only The Powah of Prayer Can Help

Another day, another shooting…aaaah, life in 21st century America. This time, instead of radical christian terrorists, it was radical islamic terrorists…but still radical religious terrorists. This husband and wife team killed 14 people and injured 21 with assault weapons, which according to every gun enthusiast, is vital to living a happy life in this country. Again the response by Republicans has been pathetic. GOP presidential candidate, Marco Rubio, proclaimed that gun control legislation won’t help and many Republicans, including the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, said they’re sending their prayers to the victims. In fact, President Obama caused quite a ruckus when he rightfully said “God isn’t fixing this” and correctly pushed for gun control legislation. The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a. Fox News, jumped in and offered the insipid response that if you’re not praying you’re for the terrorists.(That’s sounds a lot like Dubya’s old catchphrase). And of course, the NRA High Priest, Wayne LaPierre, made a video designed to make everyone want to go out, buy a gun and join in the melee, in the name of national security. At least The New York Daily News came out with a full page headline blasting Republicans on their inaction. Maybe this will light a match under the Republicans to grow a pair and stand up to the special interest groups like the NRA and the gun industry, who control them like they’re puppets. Will it work? Let’s just put it this way; we wonder where the next shooting is going to be.

GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American's sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, which gets an amen and hallelujah from NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.
GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American’s sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, much to the evangelical delight of NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.