Tag Archive for shows

Shows Tonight On The Poker Network

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Poker Network. Ante up and lose your pants in the privacy of your own home.

Shows Tonight on The Poker Network

7:00pm Kalamazoo Hold-em: The Forgotten Poker
7:30pm Children’s Ten and Under Poker Championships
8:00pm Fitness Training for Poker Players: Killer Wrist Workouts
8:30pm The World’s Funniest Poker Faces with Lady Gaga
9:00pm Paris Hilton’s Stud Poker
9:30pm Poker Under the Sheets

Shows Tonight On The Celebrity Dancing Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Celebrity Dancing Channel. Watch these shows because if there’s one thing Americans can’t get enough of, it’s celebrities dancing.

Shows Tonight on The Celebrity Dancing Channel

7:00pm Classic Television Show Dances: Adam West and the Batusi
7:30pm Snoop Dogg, The Minuet and You
8:00pm Kirstie Alley Dances Swan Lake
8:30pm Breakdancing with Tony Bennett
9:00pm Great Mating Dances: The Pee Wee Herman ‘Tequila’ Strut
9:30pm Rosie O’Donnell’s Bellydancing Extravaganza

Shows Tonight On The Philatelist Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Philatelist Channel. Watch these shows because if there’s anything more exciting than coin collecting, it’s gotta be stamp collecting.

Shows Tonight on The Philatelist Channel

7:00pm Canada’s Looniest Stamps
7:30pm 1001 Reasons To Collect Stamps
8:00pm Topical Philately: The Fat Elvis Stamp
8:30pm True Confessions of a Stamp Addict
9:00pm America’s Smuttiest Stamp: The Inverted Jenny
9:30pm Philately After Dark: Lick it! Lick It Good!

Shows Tonight On Amish TV

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for Amish TV. So settle thee in thy rocker chair with a glass of milk and a slice of shoofly pie and enjoy thyself.

Shows Tonight on Amish TV

7:00pm Barnraising 911
7:30pm Knit Thee a Quilt!
8:00pm Bonnet Fashions for Spring
8:30pm Pimp Thy Carriage!
9:00pm Seth Gildenstern’s Late Night Prayer and Comedy Hour

Shows Tonight On The Civil War Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Civil War Channel. So settle back in your easy chair with your salted pork, hardtack and whiskey and relive a simpler, bloodier time.

Shows Tonight on The Civil War Channel

7:00pm Ambrose Burnside: The Man, The Facial Hair
7:30pm The Zouave Uniform: What The Hell Were They Thinking?
8:00pm The Bloody Battle of Commandersville
8:30pm The Bloody Skirmish of Chicken Gulch
9:00pm The Bloody Picnic Lunch of Scootersburg Ferry
9:30pm The Secret Love Sonnets of Ulysses S. Grant

Shows Tonight On Venezuelan State TV

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for Venezuelan State TV. ¡Míralo! ¡Todo el mundo le gusta Chávez!

Shows Tonight on Venezuelan State TV

7:00pm Hugo Chavez: El Presidente mas Grande!
7:30pm ¿Por qué es Hugo Chavez tan Macho?
8:00pm Hugo Chavez: El Mejor Hombre del Mundo!
8:30pm Venezuela Bueno: Estados Unidos Malo
9:00pm Full House
9:30pm Hugo Chavez en la Noche

And The Award For Best Faucet Mounting Goes To…

The Academy Awards took place recently to much hype and ceremony. Billy Crystal hosted again for the zillionth time and everybody was riveted to the set to see which starlet would wear the most daring outfit, who would win Best Gaffer and who would make the most insipid acceptance speech. We here at the Bucket have noticed over the years that the entertainment industry sure does like producing awards shows and patting themselves on the back. It seems like there’s an awards show every week. Wouldn’t it be great if other professions like programmers, electricians or dentists staged extravagant, self congratulatory awards shows on a weekly basis, too.

What if the public fawned and drooled over plumbers instead of actors and actresses? Here’s an old article from March 14, 2004 about the glamour that is the Golden Plungers.

Melvin Swazicki Sweeps The Golden Plunger Awards

In a stunning and record setting performance last week, Melvin Swazicki of Toledo, Ohio, swept the top categories in The Golden Plunger Awards which were held in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Golden Plungers are considered by most experts to be the top awards show for plumbers ranking ahead of the The Plumbers People’s Choice Awards, The American Plumbing Awards and The Morties, named after legendary Chicago plumber Morty Pawolinski.

“This is an incredible feat!” said show commentator Larry Buttner. “He swept all the top awards: Fastest Snake, Best Showerhead Installation, Best Faucet Mounting, Best Unclogging Of A Shower Drain System, and Best Join Sweating Of An Outdoor Underground Pipe System In Freezing Conditions. This guy does it all!”

When Swazicki came on stage to receive his first award, for Best Faucet Mounting, he exclaimed “You like me! You really like me!” Swazicki, wearing fabulous pinstriped Gucci overalls, displayed tact and modesty in his other acceptance speeches. “I couldn’t have done it without the other plumbers at Rootin’ Tootin’ Plumbing. It’s truly a team effort every time we go to a customer’s house.” The fifty-year old plumber paused, wiped a tear from his eye and continued. “I love you guys!”

Emil Czalewpski, Swazicki’s main competition, had nothing but praise. “Melvin deserves it. He’s been in the biz for a long time now. You know, it’s just an honor to be nominated.”

Joe Tabler, a junior plumber who works with Swazicki, said, “Wow! Melvin is truly an inspiration to the rest of us at Rootin’ Tootin’. I mean he’s a legend. When they asked me to work on Melvin’s team, I had to pinch myself. I’m working with Melvin Swazicki! I mean, it was just an incredible dream come true.”

The show was hosted by Billy Crystal. He got the evening off to a rip-roaring start when he told the audience “Gentlemen start your egos!” He then told them to “pipe down” after the opening number. He also told a model, who mistakenly dropped an award, “Hey don’t sweat it.” He later did a number where he inserted himself into clips of the nominees doing various kinds of plumbing work. Huge laughs came when he bent over to replace a toilet valve and showed large amounts of butt cleavage to the audience.

“That was hilarious!” said Fred Schindler of Des Moines, Iowa. “That happens to me all the time. Hell one time a youngun stuck a pencil in there and I didn’t even know it. I sure knew it when I tried to sit. Ouch! Hee hee hee!”

Of course, one can’t mention the Golden Plungers without mentioning the fashions. Entertainment Tonight’s Jann Carl said, “Melvin Swazicki may have took home the Golden Plungers, but Carl LeMay took home the fashion award with his Ralph Lauren leisure suit. Herman Jablonski also looked sharp in his Yves St. Laurent gold lamé jump suit. His wife Mabel, looked equally stunning in her Bob Mackie moo-moo. The biggest fashion disaster had to be avant-garde plumber, Tina Bjorkinski, who showed up wearing a toilet duck costume. What on earth was she thinking?”

The plumbing industry now looks forward to the next award show, the Morties, which will be held next month in Hoboken, New Jersey, and hosted by Whoopi Goldberg.

Shows Tonight On The Gun Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Gun Channel. Watch these shows with the ones you love…like Smith and Wesson.

Shows Tonight on The Gun Channel

7:00pm Glocked & Loaded: America’s Love Affair With Guns
7:30pm Guns For Tots: It’s Never Too Early
8:00pm Dick Cheney’s Gun Jamboree
8:30pm I Married My Gun
9:00pm Is That a Gun In Your Pocket…
9:30pm Guns, Guns, Guns and More Guns!!!

Shows Tonight On The Infomercial Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Infomercial Channel. Change to this channel in the next five minutes and get a free key chain/potato peeler/sex toy just for watching.

Shows Tonight on The Infomercial Channel

7:00pm I’ve Got a System: Breaking the Bank in Vegas
7:30pm I’ve Got a System: Breaking the Bank on Wall Street
8:00pm The Bestest Exercise Machine Ever
8:30pm Become a Real Estate Tycoon by Placing Tiny Little Ads
9:00pm Time Life Presents: The Joanie Loves Chachi DVD Collection
9:30pm Make Money Off Gullible People Who Can’t Sleep

Shows Tonight On The Numismatist Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes. Well, here’s a listing for The Numismatist Channel. Who knew coin collecting could be so exciting!

Shows Tonight on The Numismatist Channel

7:00pm The Sacagawea Dollar: What The Hell Happened?
7:30pm Topics in Coin Collecting: Dealing with Loneliness
8:00pm Presidential Coin Mania! James Buchanan – Bad Coin, Bad President
8:30pm U.S. Coin Patterns of 1792
9:00pm Drachmas: The Misunderstood Currency
9:30pm The Money Shot with Herm Finkelstein