Trump: Jesus’ Twin?

One of the more perplexing things about the rise of Donald Trump is the support he’s getting from the evangelical christians. We thought for sure they would support supposed ‘savior’ Ted Cruz, but they have overwhelmingly come out in support of someone who is thrice married; a hedonist, morally bankrupt and has at best a sketchy knowledge of the bible. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we probably know more about the bible than Trump. Samantha Bee recently gave a hilarious analysis of the religious right evangelical’s seemingly hypocritical viewpoint. It’s definitely a lip diddler for us, folks. But then again, we can’t figure out how the hell Donald Trump is the GOP nominee for president.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admires his ideological twin, Donald Trump, for his greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted, and oppresive nature.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

Trump’s Wage Slave America

We used to think it was funny that Donald Trump was the frontrunner when this charade called Con-a-thon 2016 started last summer. We figured that all his gaffes, miscues and hateful comments would surely lead to his demise before the first primaries and one of the more seasoned ‘establishment’ GOP candidates, like Bush, Walker or Rubio, would take the lead. But Trump is clearly on track to becoming the Republican nominee and it’s becoming more scary than humorous. As a matter of fact the Economic Intelligence Unit(EIU) ranked the prospect of a Trump presidency as one of the biggest threats to global economic stability, right up there with radical jihadists.

The most perplexing thing: the supporters of Donald Trump. These are people who should be supporting the man who would really help them, socialist Bernie Sanders. But as we’ve commented here before, many lower and middle class Americans view themselves as ‘temporarily embarrassed millionaires’ , not the exploited backbone of the nation that they truly are. Americans are overworked and underpaid but yet somehow, some of them think that Donald Trump, who is a master at manipulating people and the media, will make their lives better because of the trickle down myth which the Republicans have successfully trumpeted ever since the days of St. Ronald Reagan; Donald Trump is rich, so his riches will trickle down and he’ll make us all rich. It didn’t work in the eighties under Reagan, the aughts under Dubya and it won’t work in the future under Trump.

We’ve been hoping that the people who support Trump would have woken up by now, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. In fact, with the outbreak of violence at anybody who speaks against Trump, they seem more adamant than ever to place America into the hands of an authoritarian megalomaniac with a lust for power and a hatred for dissent. The true future for Trump supporters will more likely be as low wage slaves at his resorts and casinos.

Supporters for Donald Trump like him because he bosses people around, makes up the truth and hates the same people they hate.
Supporters for Donald Trump express their obsequious desire to be future wage slaves for the authoritarian megalomaniac.

Feckless Frauds

Well folks, the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 drags on and it looks like the Republicans are choosing fascism over democracy, as Donald Trump racks up the delegates and the violent thugs. The con that is being pulled on the public not only by the Republican party but the complicit corporate media is mind boggling. The media is reporting that the Republicans are pulling out all the stops trying to stop the orange monster. Even 2012 GOP nominee, Mtt ‘Spiff’ Romney spoke out against the Donald, calling him a fraud. Yes, the Republicans are so concerned that Trump will be the nominee and in typical Republican fashion are blaming President Obama for the rise of Trump. That’s right; in the narrow conservative Republican’s viewpoint, it’s never the fault of a Republican.

But the thing is that while the ‘establishment’ and the remaining GOP candidates are attacking Trump, they’re also saying that they’ll support him if he becomes the GOP nominee. So the attacks on Trump being performed by Rubio, Kasich and Cruz are nothing but absolute, meaningless bullshit. Because no matter what they say, these feckless frauds are going to support this authoritarian megalomaniac for President anyway; just like everyone in the GOP ‘establishment’. Like P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Despite GOP candidates Cruz, Kasich and Marcobot 2016 attacking Donald Trump, they will fecklessly support him if he gets the Republican nomination.
Discerning GOP candidates Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, boldly criticize frontrunner Donald Trump as an orange monster but will courageously support him if he gets the Republican nomination.

GOP: It’s All About The Size Of The Hand…And The Penis

The GOP hit a new all-time low last week; and that’s saying something because they’ve been nothing but abysmal ever since the travesty that is Con-a-thon 2016 started last summer (Geez has it been that long already!). Yes, middle school students running for student body president are officially more mature than the grown-up Republicans running for President. It started when Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, intimated that frontrunner, megalomaniac Donald Trump, might be less of a man because he had small hands. Well Trump, being a manly man, wasn’t going to let that comment slide and suggested in the next Republican debate that he was all that and more. Really???!!!! The Republicans are comparing dick sizes????!!!! IN A  PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE????!!!!! No folks, this isn’t an episode of the Jerry Springer show or a bunch of drunks in a local tavern. These are supposedly legitimate adults who want to run this country, the most powerful in the world,…and they’re talking about the size of their penises.

We’re wondering what the last great Republican President, Dwight D. Eisenhower, would have said about today’s pathetic GOP.

GOP frontrunner, Donald Trump, assures the ghost of Ike that despite having small hands, his penis is huge.
The ghost of the last great Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, warns Americans of the two greatest dangers to their liberty: an unchecked military-industrial complex and a man with a small penis.

Bedtime For Ben

A simple post today…evangelical and Teabagger darling, Dr. Ben Carson, suspended his presidential campaign last week, in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016, to pursue his true passion…napping. Pleasant dreams, Dr. Carson. It was very interesting to …. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Ben Carson quits his presidential campaign to pursue his true passion...napping.
Ben Carson’s campaign summary – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Republicans Receive Iowa Participation Trophies; They’re All ‘Winners’

Well, the Iowa Caucus BS is mercifully over and as predicted, the Republican Clown Car has gotten a lot roomier in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016.

On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton finished in a virtual tie and nice guy, Martin O’Malley, wisely decided to end his campaign and devote his time to playing more guitar and doing ab crunches. We’re wondering if Sanders’ strong performance might mean that the ‘liberal’ media might actually start covering his campaign.

On the GOP side, the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, pulled a surprise and upset frontrunner Donald Trump, mostly by huckstering  the evangelical christian vote. The funny thing about the Republican results is that despite not winning, Donald Trump and third place finisher, Marco Rubio, proudly declared that they were winners, too. Of course, all the egotistical Republicans think they’re winners, even Rand Paul, Mike *uckabee, and Rick Santorum, who all suspended their campaigns due to a complete lack of interest from voters. Then there’s Jeb Bush who finished a distant sixth. But then again, Jeb Bush said several weeks ago, they he prefers being in the back of the pack. Yep, there’s nothing like leading from behind. If he’s not careful he’ll be conducting his campaign from his couch.

It’s interesting to note that *uckabee won Iowa in 2008 and Santorum won in 2012 and of course they went on to…lose badly. Hmmm…we’re hoping that this trend continues in 2016 and Cruz plummets before too long.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses  GOP candidates, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they're winners.
Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses, GOP candidates and extraordinary con artists, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they’re winners.

If It Sounds Muslimy, Bomb It

From the unfrickingbelievable file…

In the wake of the recent Republican debate for the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016, where frontrunners Ted Cruz and Donald Trump announced proudly that they would carpet bomb ISIS in Syria, a poll conducted by the Public Policy Polling (PPP) found that 30% of Republicans and 41% of Donald Trump supporters were in favor of the United States magic carpet bombing the city of Agrabah. The only problem is that the city of Agrabah is the fictional city in Disney’s film Aladdin. But as evident in the last twenty years, facts and reality don’t matter to today’s right wing, teabagging, conservative, christian Republican. Their motto; if it sounds muslimy, bomb it!

Reneck Republican voters and Trump supporters say if it sounds muslimy, then bomb it.
Some red state Republican voters intellectually discuss the necessity of carpet bombing the very muslimy sounding city of Agrabah.

Only The Powah of Prayer Can Help

Another day, another shooting…aaaah, life in 21st century America. This time, instead of radical christian terrorists, it was radical islamic terrorists…but still radical religious terrorists. This husband and wife team killed 14 people and injured 21 with assault weapons, which according to every gun enthusiast, is vital to living a happy life in this country. Again the response by Republicans has been pathetic. GOP presidential candidate, Marco Rubio, proclaimed that gun control legislation won’t help and many Republicans, including the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, said they’re sending their prayers to the victims. In fact, President Obama caused quite a ruckus when he rightfully said “God isn’t fixing this” and correctly pushed for gun control legislation. The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a. Fox News, jumped in and offered the insipid response that if you’re not praying you’re for the terrorists.(That’s sounds a lot like Dubya’s old catchphrase). And of course, the NRA High Priest, Wayne LaPierre, made a video designed to make everyone want to go out, buy a gun and join in the melee, in the name of national security. At least The New York Daily News came out with a full page headline blasting Republicans on their inaction. Maybe this will light a match under the Republicans to grow a pair and stand up to the special interest groups like the NRA and the gun industry, who control them like they’re puppets. Will it work? Let’s just put it this way; we wonder where the next shooting is going to be.

GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American's sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, which gets an amen and hallelujah from NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.
GOP candidates and super clowns, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, proclaim that owning an assault weapon is every American’s sacred right and that only the power of prayer can save us from more shootings, much to the evangelical delight of NRA high priest Wayne LaPierre.

Christian Terrorists? What Christian Terrorists?

This past weekend, an anti-choice, conservative, religious zealot, Robert Dear, barricaded himself inside a Planned Parenthood clinic and killed three people and injured nine others. If that wasn’t unsettling enough, take into account the aftermath of this tragedy. As one could predict, the media is being incredibly stupid, postulating on what his possible motive could be despite his grumbling the phrase “no more baby parts” as he was being jailed. This was in line with Republicans, who also took the Sgt. Schultz approach. (Christian Terrorists? What christian terrorists?) Probably the most inane comment was by the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, who said there was nothing linking him to the anti-abortion stance (pay no attention to the “no more baby parts” statement) and that he was a “transgendered leftist activist” and not a crazed anti-abortionist, right wing, christian terrorist. The wife of Dear even said he was conservative , religious and anti-abortion. But in Ted Cruz’s demented world vision, we need to be very afraid of people like Laverne Cox, Kaitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono, who seem to be pretty docile and friendly people. And this clown, Cruz, wants to be President.

This was obviously a politically motivated shooting and it shows how the Republican rhetoric toward defunding Planned Parenthood has created a toxic attitude toward the important organization, which provides vital reproductive and counseling services to women. We’ve mentioned before the lies and deceptions by the conservative media and Carly Fiorina concerning Planned Parenthood.  When the media and right wing conservative politicians fail to quell the hatred but instead incite it, then they should be held accountable. For instance, Ted Cruz recently crowed about an endorsement for his campaign from Troy Newman,who has openly endorsed violence against abortion providers. Another wack-a-doodle GOP candidate, Mike Huckabee, likened Planned Parenthood to ISIS. Of course, everyone of these ‘pro-lifers’ are totally for starting wars in the Middle East, which will kill thousands of people in the process. Pro-life indeed! And everyone of these ‘freedom loving conservatives’ are for getting government out people’s lives, except when it comes to women’s reproductive systems, then by all means let’s monitor their vaginas and uteri 24/7. Hypocrites indeed!

Ted Cruz says Robert Dear was a trangendered activist, while the media remains clueless about his motivation despite the shooter saying 'no more baby parts.'
Top notch sleuth and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, offers the pliant media a possible solution to the mystery of why Robert Dear attacked Planned Parenthood.

It’s Not Jindal Time

Hey America! It’s not Jindal time! It sounds like a rap song, but it’s actually the next chapter in the charade that is Con-a-thon 2016. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced that it’s “not my time” and dropped out of the Republican race.  Jindal came to prominence in 2008 but quickly nosedived after his less than stellar rebuttal to President Obama’s state of the Union address in 2009. We were kind of shocked that he decided to run for President because his sing-songy simplistic manner resonated with no one. His poll numbers were microscopic, indicating that there may never be a ‘Jindal Time’ ever in America. Oh well…that just means more room in the Republican clown car for the umpteen other loonies.

Bobby Jindal realizes that it will never be 'Jindal Time' in America
GOP candidate Bobby Jindal bows out of the Con-a-thon 2016 realizing that it will never be ‘Jindal Time’ in America.