Republicans Receive Iowa Participation Trophies; They’re All ‘Winners’

Well, the Iowa Caucus BS is mercifully over and as predicted, the Republican Clown Car has gotten a lot roomier in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016.

On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton finished in a virtual tie and nice guy, Martin O’Malley, wisely decided to end his campaign and devote his time to playing more guitar and doing ab crunches. We’re wondering if Sanders’ strong performance might mean that the ‘liberal’ media might actually start covering his campaign.

On the GOP side, the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, pulled a surprise and upset frontrunner Donald Trump, mostly by huckstering¬† the evangelical christian vote. The funny thing about the Republican results is that despite not winning, Donald Trump and third place finisher, Marco Rubio, proudly declared that they were winners, too. Of course, all the egotistical Republicans think they’re winners, even Rand Paul, Mike *uckabee, and Rick Santorum, who all suspended their campaigns due to a complete lack of interest from voters. Then there’s Jeb Bush who finished a distant sixth. But then again, Jeb Bush said several weeks ago, they he prefers being in the back of the pack. Yep, there’s nothing like leading from behind. If he’s not careful he’ll be conducting his campaign from his couch.

It’s interesting to note that *uckabee won Iowa in 2008 and Santorum won in 2012 and of course they went on to…lose badly. Hmmm…we’re hoping that this trend continues in 2016 and Cruz plummets before too long.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses  GOP candidates, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they're winners.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses, GOP candidates and extraordinary con artists, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they’re winners.

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