Democrat – Page 8 – BilgeBucket Gazette

Comey’s October Surprise

Just when you thought the possibility of a Trumpocalypse was over and you could breath safely…

FBI Director and one tall dude(6’8″), James Comey, decided Friday that Americans weren’t stressed out enough about the elections and decided to throw some raw meat to Donald Trump’s drooling thugs. Comey, a lifelong Republican, decided to conveniently re-open the email investigations with a little more than a week left until the election. This investigation doesn’t concern emails on Hillary’s server, but emails pertaining to Anthony Weiner. Comey, claims that he just wants to make sure that there is no wrongdoing here or as one lawyer put it, he’s covering his ass. The DOJ promptly fired back with a complaint against Comey. We find it interesting, that Comey, who claims he isn’t a Republican anymore, has long had ties to them and he even did his thesis in college on everyone’s favorite evangelical theocrat James Falwell. What’s interesting is that back in June, Comey claimed the matter closed and that no reasonable prosecutor would pursue the matter. But here it is, almost election time (and Halloween)…and surprise, surpise – more emails! Maybe Comey had this planned all along like the Democrats are now claiming. Or maybe he is just covering his ass and making absolutely positive that there was no wrongdoing like he did before. All we know is that this goddamn farce that is Con-a-thon 2016 can’t get over soon enough. Thanks for the added stress Mr. James Comey! Can we send our medical bills for anxiety and mental fatigue to you?

FBI director James Comey says that Hillary Clinton is too far ahead and decided to give Trump's easily pissed off supporters more red meat on which they can gnaw. — FBI director James Comey decided that there wasn’t enough tension in the 2016 Presidential election, so he decided to throw some red meat to Donald Trump’s rabid, easily pissed off supporters to make things interesting.

Arpaio To Model Pink Underwear

While John McCain may be staying in Arizona politics for a while longer, another bastion of Arizona conservatism may be riding off into the sunset very soon; Sheriff Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio. We’ve commented before about authoritarian, demagogue Sheriff Joe and his crazy support of fellow birther Donald Trump. Now it finally appears that he’s getting his comeuppance for his racial profiling laws. Arpaio has officially been charged with criminal contempt of court and could be spending six months in prison. And of course, all of Sheriff Joe’s shenanigans have cost Arizona taxpayers millions of dollars. On top of this, his Democrat opponent in the Maricopa County sheriff election, Paul Penzone, has a lead on him in the latest polls. What poetic justice: not only will Arpaio finally be retiring from public office, he very well could become a resident of his own infamous creation, Tent City. We hope he enjoys the 100+ degree heat, his pink underwear and green bologna… oh and the undying love and admiration of his fellow inmates.

The inmates of Tent City want a pink underwear fashion show from their new resident, soon to be former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. — The inmates of Tent City want a pink underwear fashion show from their new resident, soon to be former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio.

Pence Lies Like A Real Boy

The Vice Presidential debate was last night and as predicted is was pretty lackluster. What kills us is that many ‘pundits’ think Pence won the debate because he merely denied that Donald Trump said all the horrible, rotten, despicable things he has actually said during the course of the last year of this clusterf*ck that is Con-a-thon 2016. Since when did lying your ass off win you a debate? Oh that’s right, he’s Republican and the corporate news media is conservative. Hell, Republicans were claiming victory two hours ahead of the debate.

However, the Clinton campaign has released a pretty damning video showing the dishonesty and deception of Mike Pence and the Trump campaign. If Puritan Pence keeps lying like Pinocchio, he’ll severely jeopardize his chances of entering into his christian heaven.

GOP Vice President nominee, Puritan Mike Pence spins some Pinocchio-like deception by claiming Donald Trump called Mexicans therapists and not rapists. — GOP Vice Presidential candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, spins some Pinocchio-like deception and dishonesty which may hinder his chances of getting into christian heaven.

The Stoner Who Would Be President

As if the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016 couldn’t get any stranger, the once respectable Chicago Tribune announced this past week that they’re going to endorse not Donald Trump… not Hillary Clinton… but Libertarian candidate and stoner extraordinaire, Gary ‘Dude’ Johnson. We’ve gained a little, tiny bit of respect lately for the Arizona Republic and the San Diego Tribune for breaking with tradition and endorsing the only sane choice for President, Democrat Hillary Clinton. But come on Chicago Tribune. This man had another ‘Aleppo’ moment last week on Chris Matthews when he couldn’t name a world leader. We think the people at the Trib may be ex-High Times employees and may be smoking the same thing as the ‘Dude’.

Libertarian candidate Gary 'Dude' Johnson says that Captain America is a gnarly world leader much to the approval of the stoners at the Chicago Tribune, who endorse him totally for President. — The stoners over at the Chicago Tribune think that Libertarian candidate Gary ‘Dude’ Johnson would be a totally awesome choice for President.

Lisa Clinton vs Bart Trump

The results are in from the first Presidential debate and the consensus is that Hillary Clinton wiped the floor with Donald Trump. As expected, Trump and his acolytes are proclaiming victory or claim that such things as a faulty microphone or a cold were to blame for Trump’s less than stellar performance. (Really, what was with the Donald’s sniffling all night? Gee, we thought Hillary was supposed to be the sick one. Why doesn’t the media spend hours obsessing over Trump’s health? Is he on death’s door or just doing coke?)

Which brings us to the bigger question; will the debate performance boost Hillary in the polls? Most people think so, but Michael Moore posited an interesting and disturbing response with which we are kind of grudgingly, reluctantly and frighteningly inclined to agree. Moore states that even though Hillary beat Trump handily and may rise in the polls, so what… Trump will still win the election. Unfortunately and frighteningly, he could be right. Look at what has happened this past year. Trump has said the most disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant things that a person could say not just during a Presidential campaign but in general life. And what’s the response? His poll numbers are boosted! It’s exactly like Trump boasted last year; that he could shoot people in Times Square and his backers would still support him. Logic, reason, facts, statistics, science and common sense don’t matter to Trump supporters. Even our local rag, The Arizona Republic, endorsed Hillary for President; the first time in the paper’s history they endorsed a Democrat. Will it sway the right wing Teabagger Republicans in this state? Probably not. This race should be a Clinton landslide, but instead Trump’s blind, unthinking, sycophantic supporters and the lax and enabling coverage of the corporate conservative news media have made this election into a nerve wracking vigil for an impending, apocalyptic nightmare or the Trumpocalypse.

We noted a few posts ago about how Hillary is like Lisa Simpson and the Donald is like Bart Simpson. Unfortunately, America seems to have transformed itself into a country just like a certain cartoon town of idiots.

Just like on 'The Simpsons', Hillary 'Lisa' Clinton proclaims she is prepared to be president only to be obnoxiously ridiculed by Donald 'Bart' Trump much to the delight of the cartoonish idiotic citizens. — Despite being completely qualified mentally and physically to be President, Hillary ‘Lisa’ Clinton discovers that the cartoonish idiocracy prefers the inane, rude, crude, obnoxious imp, Donald ‘Bart’ Trump.

Liberal Media My Ass – Part ∞

We’ve commented numerous times before here about the myth of the liberal media. But there’s nothing like stats and graphs that prove that the news media is actually very conservative. The web site Media Matters does an excellent job of keeping track of the lies and deceptions of the right wing media, especially Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network. We usually don’t post graphics from other sites, but this one speaks volumes. It shows that on September 12, 2016, the major media outlets spent almost 13 total hours covering the non issue of Hillary Clinton’s health and only 51 minutes covering the real scandal of Donald Trump misusing funds in his so called Foundation. And of course, Fox News said nothing of Trump’s malfeasance. This probably explains why Trump has gained on Hillary despite his vile, ignorant, inane commentary. It’s kind of like on the Simpsons, when smart, responsible Lisa gets bawled out for getting a 98% on a test instead of 100% and stupid, irresponsible Bart gets a trip to Itchy and Scratchy Land for getting a D on his math test. Yeah, we’re using a Simpsons analogy but so what. Donald Trump is the frigging GOP nominee for President! Con-a-thon 2016 cannot end soon enough!

Graph shows major new media outlets MSNBC, CNN and Fox News spent an inordinate amount of time on Hillary Clinton's health and hardly any time on Donald Trump's misuse of funds in the Trump Foundation. — This graph from Media Matters shows conclusively the ‘fair and balanced’ news coverage of the major news networks.

Media Whore

It sure was a bad week for Matt Lauer; one where he may reconsider his career as a ‘journalist’. He was roundly panned for his moderating skills at the recent Commander-in-Chief forum, where he interviewed both Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republican Donald Trump. He was noted for repeatedly interrupting Hillary Clinton and letting Donald Trump get away with his lies and misconceptions. We half expected him to curl up on the Donald’s lap and ask him the ultimate softball question: Do you wear boxers or briefs? The general consensus was that he should stick to doing fluff interviews with breezy celebrities on his lame-ass morning show.

Republicans May Be Right

Republicans have been vocal in recent years about voter ID laws despite the in person voter fraud being virtually non-existent. (Another article here.) Now, voter ID laws, like the one in North Carolina, are being struck down because basically they are an attempt by Republicans at repressing certain people like minorities from having access to the voting booth.

But with the rise of Donald Trump as the GOP nominee for President, maybe we should have voter restrictions…against Republicans. Let’s say if a person voted for Dubya, Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin and is in the process of supporting the megalomaniac, orange haired rage monster then that person clearly lacks the intelligence to astutely choose a candidate who will run this great nation properly. We would suggest that this person stick to the more basic skills in life like drinking beer, watching wrestling on tv and belching on the couch. It would be a win-win for everyone.

Given the choices Republicans have made over the last 20 years, maybe some people shouldn't be allowed to vote. — Given the choices Republicans have made over the last 20 years, maybe some people shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

The Peachy Keen VPs

The Vice Presidential candidates for the Democrats and Republicans couldn’t be more different from their respective running mates. Mike Pence is pretty much a modern day Puritan and the complete opposite of the bombastic and coarse Donald Trump. Tim Kaine is a walking Disney character and his squeaky clean demeanor is in contrast with the popular perceptions of Hilary Clinton as untrustworthy. Amazingly, the same adjectives are being used to describe both candidates: bland, boring, dull and our favorite, milquetoast.

We think the upcoming debate between the two candidates could be one of the biggest snooze-fests ever. Of course, it will probably be one of the most polite political events ever, too. We do have a bit of advice for the Democrats. If the Democrats don’t want another Dukakis-in-a-tank moment, do not use Kaine as an attack dog. Use Biden, Bill Clinton, Bernie Sanders or Obama to rip Trump a new one. Kaine is a nice guy. Let him be a nice guy. When he tries to be mean…it just looks bad.

GOP Vice President candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, excoriates Disneyesque Democrat VP candidate, Tim Kaine, for using the g d words.words. — GOP Vice President candidate and modern day Puritan, Mike Pence, excoriates Disneyesque Democrat VP candidate, Tim Kaine, for using the g d words.

In This Corner…

Here’s a shocker: Donald Trump said something outrageous! In keeping with his daily blathering of nonsense, the megalomaniac, orange haired rage monster said recently that he’d love to debate, “But I have to see the conditions”. Yeah…right! Given the Donald’s penchant for wrestling in the past, we here at the Bucket have an idea of what kind of debate he wants; a no holds barred wrestling match with Hillary. Just think of the ratings! But be sure to keep an eye on ol’ hound dog Bill and Melania at ringside(wink, wink).

Democrat Hillary Clinton puts Republican Donald Trump in a headlock in the first ever Presidential Debate/Wrestling Match while their respective mates, Bill Clinton and Melania Trump, get to know each other at ringside.