corporations – Page 9 – BilgeBucket Gazette

Trump’s Racist Wunderkind

With Steve Bannon out of the White House, the role of the most repulsive, alt-right, Nazi deplorable in the Trump Administration falls to ‘senior’ advisor and Pauly Shore look-a-like, Stephen Miller. We say ‘senior’ facetiously because this twerp is only thirty-two years old and knows absolutely squat. He was in high school when Dubya sent troops to Afghanistan for Pete’s sake and he was supposedly transformed by reading NRA head, Wayne LaPierre. This is one broken human being and yet he’s got the ear of American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump. We think of him as a cross between Wormtongue and Himmler.

There’s been much speculation that he’s behind most of Trump’s immigration bans and that his advice nixed any deals on DACA last month. From all accounts, he’s always been a hateful person who delights at creating havoc, chaos and misery for anyone who doesn’t agree with his narrow minded world view; unfortunately a perfect fit for the modern day, authoritarian, fascist Republican party. We’re hoping, for the good of the nation, that the Stephen Miller: Racist Dickhead show will get cancelled before it gets to a third season.

Stephen Miller, senior adviser to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, explains that he's not racist, he just likes himself and Donald Trump. — Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and racist dickhead extraordinaire, explains the subtle intricacies of his complex world view.

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

GOP: The Government Wrecking Machine

The big news this past week was the government shutdown which showed to all how inept the Republicans are and how truly spineless the Democrats are and how truly screwed the American people are. The Republicans control the House, Senate and White House and yet couldn’t agree to anything. The Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, caved on DACA and immigration. We’ve mentioned before here at the Bucket, how we think that the Democrats and Republicans are just good-cop, bad-copping the people of America so that their corporate overlords can make ungodly amounts of money at the taxpayers expense. The latest tax bill sure benefits the rich at the expense of the rest of us. And the stock market taking off clearly indicates that Americans are beholden now to corporate interests: you better please Wall Street or else.

Of course, the Republicans are conning the nation like they’ve been since the days of Nixon; they truly put the CON in CONservative. They keep preaching that they’re the party of small government. But their actions tell a different tale. In addition to the shutdown of the government, which the Republicans didn’t really mind, just like 2013, all of Trump’s executive orders reversing the much needed regulations on industry and the generous tax bill, which pretty much kills any government income, seem to show that the Republicans don’t just want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! It’s no secret they want to privatize everything including infrastructure, social security and medicare and dismantle any government agencies which may provide protection for the average American citizen, like the Consumer Financial Protection Agency or the Environmental Protection Agency. This is a complete seizure of power by corporate America and their willing lackeys in congress who will bring down the government from the inside. Ladies and gentlemen; this is what a corporate oligarchy and fascism looks like.

The Republicans don't want small government, they want no government. — Thanks to the Republican party and American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Americans don’t have to be bothered with the burden of a democratic government and stupid things like laws and regulation.

Trump: Making America A Shithole

For the approximately the millionth time during his clusterf*ck of a presidency, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, managed to stick his foot in his mouth, this time pissing off a sizable chunk of the world. In discussing immigration and DACA, he lamented that the United States gets only immigrants from shithole countries like Haiti and El Salvador and wished for more people from Norway. And for the millionth time, conservative Republican lackeys bolted forward and disgracefully tried to spin Trump’s racist drivel.

Norwegians overwhelmingly rejected Trump’s offer, seeing that they’ve been named the happiest nation on the planet. Citizens from all over the globe also condemned Trump’s deplorable remarks. One of the more biting responses was from Christian Christensen, an American professor of journalism at Stockholm University in neighboring Sweden, who said on Twitter: “Of course people from #Norway would love to move to a country where people are far more likely to be shot, live in poverty, get no healthcare because they’re poor, get no paid parental leave or subsidized daycare and see fewer women in political power. #Shithole” Ouch! We couldn’t have said it better ourselves although we’ll try with this photo-toon.

A wise Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader. — A wise, happy Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader.

Ajit Pai = A Shit Pie

The assholes keep coming out of the woodwork in the Trump administration. The latest jerk is none other than FCC chairman former Verizon lawyer, Ajit Pai,(or as we’re crudely calling him from now on, Ashit Pie, who this week brought an end to net neutrality and quite possibly will change how the Internet works in the future. Pie and his stupid, big ass coffee mug (because bigger is always better, folks), commented in the snarkiest way possible that the end of net neutrality will provide us with more freedom, which is corporate talk for even more profits for mega-rich telecom giants like Verizon, Comcast and AT&T and less bang for the buck for the average consumer and complete devastation for small businesses. He even produced a repulsive YouTube video (which we’re not going to provide a link to: FU Ashit Pie!) promoting all the things you can still do on the Internet, like gramming their food. Mark Hamill even slammed Ashit Pie for wielding a light saber in the video because a Jedi ‘would never enrich giant corporations’.

The surprising thing here is that the vast majority (83%) of the American public, covering the whole political spectrum( 75% of Republicans, 86% of Independents and 89% of Democrats), are in favor of keeping net neutrality regulations. You would think that most politicians on both sides of the aisle would be pushing to reinstate the laws. This opens the door for broadband providers to possibly throttle content based on politics, thus jeopardizing freedom of speech. It says in the Constitution that the general welfare of the United States citizenry should be promoted, not the coffers of a few already wealthy individuals. The Obama administration was right when it viewed the Internet as a public utility. In the 21st century, it is a basic part of every American’s life. Everyone should have access and all traffic should be treated equally just like electricity or water for our homes or phone calls. But thanks to corporate lackey Republicans, the American public is getting screwed once again.

No matter what happens, Ashit Pie is now one of the most hated persons in America behind pharma bro Martin Shkreli and just about everyone else in the Trump administration like Scott Pruitt, Mike Pence, Rex Tillerson, Stephen Miller, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin, Jared Kushner…sweet freaking Zeus, the list goes on and on and the swamp just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger… One thing’s for sure: Ashit Pie is one massive DICKHEAD!

FCC chairman, big mug aficionado and colossal DICKHEAD, Ajit Pai, a.k.a. A Shit Pie, explains to a consumer peon how awesome freedom from regulation will be much to the delight of a nearby plutocrat telecom stockholder. — FCC chairman, big mug aficionado and colossal DICKHEAD, Ajit Pai, a.k.a. Ashit Pie, explains to a consumer peon how awesome freedom from regulation will be much to the delight of a nearby plutocrat telecom stockholder.

Making Those Poor Plutocrats Richer

As expected, the Republican corporate lackeys passed their ugly tax bill early Saturday morning by a 51-49 vote much to the delight of their plutocrat benefactors. This tax cut plan, which benefits mostly the 1%ers, including America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is being negatively received by mostly everyone. It also cuts the corporate tax rate from thirty-five percent to a mere twenty percent. But despite all the crowing by Republican corporate lackeys, the bill doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, which is one reason why they’re trying to jam it through. But the GOP had to also act quickly on the tax cut bill because Trump may not be available for much longer with Michael Flynn pleading guilty of lying to the FBI on Friday, and Trump tweeting that he knew Flynn lied which means he admits to obstruction of justice. Hence, another reason for rushing even though it was mostly unreadable (see Montana Senator Jon Tester’s video noting the shoddiness of the rewrites).

What’s astonishing is that there are people, a.k.a Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, who still believe the myth of trickle down economics. When the rich get money, they don’t let it leave their greedy little hands. They’re not going to invest it; they keep it or spend it on their favorite people; themselves. To illustrate this point, Iowa senator Chuck Grassley stated “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing, as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” Yeah, what about buying food, clothing, health care and the necessities of life, which are becoming more expensive thanks to the out of control greedy assholes like Grassley and his fellow Republicans in this country. We like the Young Turks commentary on this colossal jackass. But this is indicative of how all Republicans think of the middle class and poor. If we were Iowans who were among the 99%, we’d start a torch and pitchfork parade to Grassley’s farm for some up close and personal explanations and to possibly explain to Mr. Grassley how compassion for your fellow human beings actually works.

Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump's tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them. — Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump’s tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them.

A Little Toxic Crude Oil On Your Vegetables

There’s one thing that is working well in the Trump administration and that is the flak generator of meaningless crap that America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, spews forth on a daily basis. This drivel distracts the general public from news like the Keystone Pipeline spilling 210,000 gallons in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago. Of course, this news flew under the radar thanks to our orange haired man child in the White House.

This leak came at a crucial time as construction of the Keystone Pipeline was up for approval in Nebraska. Many citizens of that state are concerned that leaks will become commonplace and ruin their drinking water, provide toxins for the cattle and destroy crops of vegetables. But unfortunately, in typical conservative fashion, Nebraska chose short monetary gain over environmental health. The Nebraska Public Service Commission voted 3-2 to allow the pipeline thus bringing potentially thousands of jobs temporarily but only about 50 permanent positions.

EPA chief and anti-science, know nothing lawyer, Scott Pruitt, (we openly despise this man!) always touts the oil industry’s position of how safe drilling and transporting the oil is. We’ve mentioned repeatedly the lies and deception Republicans spread about drilling. It bears repeating this fact that there’s been 3,300 pipeline incidents since 2010. Yes, 3,300 incidents!!!! The fact is that numerous things can go wrong in drilling and extracting oil, especially in the midwest where temperatures regularly flux between brutal heat and mind numbing cold. Well, we hope Nebraskans enjoy a little toxic crude oil on their vegetables.

Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills, while a pliant rube touts his love of vegetables covered with toxic crude oil. — Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains to a pliant rube that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills.

The Ol’ “I Don’t Recall” Ploy

Once again, Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has broken out the ol’ tried and true “I don’t recall” ploy. We’ve commented before about his stonewalling. But recently, Sessions doubled down the tactic showing selective memory concerning meetings with the Russians. He stated that he had no recollection of the March 2016 meeting with George Papadopolous until he saw the news reports and then he suddenly remembered. So in short: Sessions said he could not remember much about Russian influence on the Trump campaign, except when he could block such influence.

One thing’s for sure: Sessions is sure doing conservative Republican icon, St. Ronald Reagan, proud. Whether it’s perjury or using the Department of Justice for political investigations or just out and out racism, Sessions is proving himself worthy of the greatest obstructionists in Republican history and considering the last seventy years: Allen Dulles’ CIA, Watergate, Iran Contra, the Iraq War, the Great Recession, etc… that’s saying something.

The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol' "I don't recall" ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency. — The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol’ “I don’t recall” ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.

Maybe The Problem Is The Pizza

John Schnatter, the founder and owner of Papa John’s pizza, recently came under fire for complaining that his pizza sales were down because of the NFL protests.

This from a man who complained back in 2012 that Obamacare would force him to raise the price of his pizza a measly fourteen cents to cover healthcare for his own employees. Let’s repeat that…his own employees. So Papa John is such a cheapskate, he doesn’t even want to protect the very people who made it possible for him to build a 40,000 square foot mansion. Boy, we thought we were misers here at the Bucket, but Papa John is definitely the World’s Stingiest Man.

Because of the stance against the players protesting, Papa John’s has become the ‘official pizza’ of the alt-right. To John Schnatter’s credit, he doesn’t want to be associated with Nazis so he’s had to come out and beg white supremacists not to buy his pizza. Too late Papa John…you’re one of them.

We here at the Bucket think that maybe Papa John’s pizza sales are down because the cardboard box the pizza comes in tastes better than the pizza.

A consumer suggests to Papa John that his sales suck not because of the NFL player protests but because the pizza box tastes better than the pizza and that he's a stingiest man alive. — A savvy consumer enlightens Papa John about the true reasons his pizza sales are lagging.

General Disappointment

When American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump appointed former general John Kelly as Chief of Staff, many breathed a sigh of relief in hoping that maybe the stoic ex-Marine could keep Trump in line. Ahhh! What naivete! John Kelly has proven in recent weeks that he’s not really not that different from Trump and that he’s only another enabler to the orange haired man-child who is our current President.

Take Kelly defending Trump’s recent call to a military widow where he told a grieving widow “he knew what he signed up for”. Kelly not only defended Trump but criticized Representative Frederica Wilson’s criticism of Trump’s wording. Trump’s press secretary,a.k.a. secretary of deception, Sarah Huckabee Sanders even went as far as to say it was inappropriate of Wilson to question Kelly because he was “a four star general”. Well how authoritarian of you Ms. Huckabee Sanders! Mr. Kelly isn’t in the military anymore. This is a democracy and there is such a thing as freedom of speech and freedom of the press, which is guaranteed by the U.S. constitution. When John Kelly says and does things which are undemocratic and wrong, it is our right as Americans to question him.

Speaking of which…last week, Kelly showed his ignorance on history when he claimed that the Civil War could have been avoided if only the South and North would have been willing to compromise. Like Professor Stephanie McCurry says, “That statement could have been given by [former Confederate general] Jubal Early in 1880”. Well, the North and South did compromise before in 1820 (Missouri Compromise) and the Compromise of 1850 and those compromises only postponed the inevitable. It took a war to rid this nation of the disgusting institution of slavery. But unfortunately, thanks to the botched Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, racism persists today. Unbelievably, we have Confederate revisionists in power in this country who want to return to those glory days of white supremacists, KKK marches and frightened minorities. Mr. Kelly: your authoritarianism and racism are showing and it’s pretty ugly.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, sez if only the slaves would have compromised and agreed to a pay cut, the Civil War could have been avoided, which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight. — American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, revises history by claiming failure to compromise caused the Civil War which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.