One thing that is really interesting to us here at the Bucket is that no one is mentioning that Spiff Romney is trailing President Obama in polls by 15 points in his home state of Massachusetts. 15 POINTS!!! Remember in 2000 when media observers made such a big deal about Al Gore not being able to carry his home state of Tennessee. Well no one in the so called ‘liberal’ media is mentioning this juicy tidbit. No one is mentioning his low 40% approval rating when he left the governorship after one term either.
Another thing we noticed today is that the Salt Lake City Tribune endorsed Barack Obama for President yesterday. We find this rather astonishing since Salt Lake City is the mecca of Mormonism, which is Romney’s religion, and dealt considerably with Romney in the 2002 Winter Olympic games. Though Romney will no doubt carry Utah, it’s shocking that the largest daily newspaper would NOT lend it’s support to one of the most high profile Mormon politicians in the country. Things that make you go hmmmmm!
GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, receives a reality check from one of his Mormon brethren in Salt Lake City.
We’re baaaack! We’ve been away for awhile. What did we miss?
Oh yeah. A hidden video which presents the true side of Spiff Romney (more on that in upcoming posts) and a lackluster debate featuring a lying used car salesman(Romney), who was channeling deceptive, former actor/president St. Ronald Reagan, and President Obama, who by using that tried and untrue Democratic strategy of taking the high road, ended up having that deer-in-the-headlight look that Dubya sported throughout the 2004 debates with John Kerry. But what was worse was watching the media cream their shorts about how great Romney’s style was (liberal media? we think not), even though he lied his ass off again. We’re hoping President Obama is just using a rope-a-dope strategy to lure Romney into a false sense of security. In the coming month, he needs to slam Romney on his dubious record with Bain, his refusal to release his tax returns and his ‘47%’ video EVERY chance he gets. If there is one thing we’ve learned in the past fifty years, you can’t trust the Republicans to play fairly at anything.
Here’s a photo-toon from our October 10, 2004 issue which depicts ol’ Dubya in all his presidential debate glory.
In the recent debate with John Kerry, George W. Bush shows his presidential side by smirking and performing that patented Bush maneuver, the sticking out of the tongue.
Polls across the nation show that Spiff Romney is behind President Obama in the joke that is … Con-a-thon 2012. Conservative Republicans must be panicking because now businessmen have just about taken to consumer blackmail to ensure that Romney gets elected. Papa John founder and CEO, John Schnatter, came out the other day and said that if Obamacare is passed, the price of their pizza will go up. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to predict that some businesses will try use these threats of higher prices to affect the outcome of the November election.
This should be no surprise of course since America has been a corporatist state for quite some time. The Supreme Court rules that corporations are people and they can contribute as much money as they want. So naturally they contribute money to the congressional lackeys who will do their bidding and give them maximum profits and minimum taxes. Or as Papa John puts it, shareholders are more important to corporations than the average American’s well being. Or put another way, if you don’t support the candidate of our liking, we’ll take it out on you. Sounds like corporatism to us folks.
Billionaire President and CEO of Juggermart, Lawrence T. Juggers, warns consumers of higher prices if a certain result isn't achieved this November.
The big news this past week was definitely the passing of the Affordable Care Act(ACA) a.k.a. Obamacare, which should be good news for all Americans, especially those who don’t have any insurance. Surprisingly, the ACA was passed as being constitutional by a 5-4 vote. Even more shocking though was that it was Chief Justice John Roberts who cast the deciding vote instead of the usual swing voter, Judge Anthony Kennedy. Media pundits all over the web have hailed that Judge Roberts has saved the court from being seen as the judicial branch of the Republican party with his reportedly last minute decision to go against the grain. Really?? This man thinks corporations are people! Roberts hasn’t changed. We think this vote was just a bone being thrown to the public and he took one for Team GOP. After all, although the health insurance industry will have to change it’s ways(i.e. no more denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions, spending 80% of the customers premium dollars on actual medical care, etc…), it still is getting 50 million more customers thanks to the law’s mandate (oops…tax). Besides, the individual mandate was originally a Republican idea (they were for it before they were agin’ it). When you consider Justice Scalia’s rant on the SB1070 dissent and Justice Kennedy’s surprising vicious dissent on Obamacare, you really can’t trust the Court especially when it’s loaded with right wing, activist judges. It means that in the future, on potentially contentious cases, the conservatives will continually point to Obamacare as proof that they aren’t political. Then they will proceed to decide like the GOP judicial branch that they are. Yep, Washington D.C. still stinks like cow patties on a hot summer day folks.
Chief Justice John Roberts basks in the afterglow of his decision to save the Supreme Court from itself with the passing of the Affordable Care Act.
Once again, Arizona has moved to the forefront of the news with some more lunacy, this time courtesy of Secretary of State Ken Bennett. Last week, Bennett said that although he doesn’t believe it, ‘several constituents’ wanted proof that President Barack Obama was actually born in Hawaii, even though he officially released his certificate of live birth which has been verified many times by Hawaiian officials. Look at his CNN video about the ‘birther’ conspiracy. But this isn’t good enough for the ‘birthers’. And of course the head ‘birther’ in Arizona is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio is known as “America’s toughest sheriff” because of his unorthodox disciplinarian methods used on prisoners such as making them wear pink underwear, live in tents, work on chain gangs and eat green bologna. He’s no stranger to controversy. He’s currently being investigated by the federal government for abuse of power for his enforcement methods of the controversial anti-illegal immigration act SB1070. We remember when this unenforceable, discriminatory law was passed, a journalist famously asked Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer, ‘What does an illegal immigrant looks like?’. In true Brewer fashion, she gave a deer in the headlight look, hemmed, hawed, mumbled and finally admitted she didn’t know. Because she knows that to enforce the law, you have to racially profile a certain segment of the population and to the conservative mindset, that means Hispanics.
Yes, Sheriff Arpaio has indeed been a popular figure in Arizona, especially with conservatives. He’s been in office for twenty years. He even had a short tv series on Fox Realty Channel. But we think his ego has gotten out of control. There’s a laundry list of controversies surrounding this man including several concerning abuse of power. His pursuance of the ‘birther’ issue using taxpayers money and the SB 1070 law are just two of the latest more annoying instances of this abuse of power.
So we say this to Sheriff Joe(like he’s going to listen to us): Please retire. Arizona can survive without you as Sheriff. You’re 80 years old. You’ve had a great twenty year run and a lot of great moments. Even we liked the pink underwear and chain gangs. But this latest escapade with the ‘birthers’ and SB1070 shows that it’s time to ride off into the sunset in true Arizona sheriff tradition. Please quit embarrassing our great state and give the reins to someone else.
So remember Arizonans: do ol’ Sheriff Joe and this state a big favor this fall and vote him out of office.
Space station astronauts took this photo of the ego inflated head of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio rising up into the troposphere proclaiming his words of wisdom to all within earshot.
Continuing with our zany zealot retrospective…we finally switch to the biggest pain in the world’s rear, Osama Bin Laden, who like Saddam Hussein, was a monster created by the United States. He was one of the Afghan freedom fighters against the Soviet occupation that were much heralded by then President Ronald Reagan. The mastermind of the 9/11 attacks and other terrorist attacks around the globe, and the leader of the terrorist group Al-Qaeda hid successfully in Pakistan, our supposed ally, for ten years until President Barack Obama ordered the attack that killed him last year. BTW, we think President Barack Obama has a right to tout the attack. If Dubya can don an enhanced flight suit, land on aircraft carrier and use 9/11 repeatedly for political purposes for his re-election in 2004, then we have no problem with Obama doing the same.
Here’s a photo-toon from our December 5, 2004 issue, when Osama Bin Laden was supposedly hiding in the Tora Bora region in eastern Afghanistan.
Last week, Pakistan intelligence sources revealed Osama Bin Laden isn't in Tora Bora in Afghanistan, he is in Bora Bora in Tahiti.
You can just about set your watch by it these days: a conservative Republican politician in Arizona acts like an ass on the national and world stage. The long list includes former state senator Russell “I’m not a Nazi” Pearce, sheriff Joe “Just call me God” Arpaio, former congressman J.D. “Rush Jr.” Hayworth, Senator John “I gave the world Sarah Palin” McCain, former Governor Fife “I like cooking food and books” Symington, the king of crazy, former Governor Evan “blacks love being called pickaninnies” Meacham and the Republican slanted state legislature and its infamous “anti-immigration” bill SB 1070. Last week Arizona Governor Jan “Skeletor” Brewer greeted President Obama on the tarmac and had a testy exchange of words over her treatment of him in her new book and ended up wagging her bony forefinger at the President as if he were a school child and not the leader of this country. This from a woman who gave this unforgettably embarassing performance in the 2010 gubernatorial debates. Incredibly and even more embarrassingly, she won the election! Yep, there’s a lot of scary conservatives living here in Arizona. Getting back to the “showdown”, if former governor and current United States Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano would have greeted Dubya that way, Republicans would have been calling for her head on a platter.
At least the Guvnuh’s new book, “Scorpions for Breakfast: My Fight Against Special Interests, Liberal Media, and Cynical Politicos to Secure America’s Border” (yep, My Fight or Mein Kampf in German), got a fantastic boost in sales from her “showdown with Obama”. Or maybe, that’s why she did it in the first place. Hmmmm… Anyway, we here at the Bucket think that the desert heat may have cooked the Guvnuh’s brain liked a baked potato, especially with that tin foil hat she likes to wear.
Arizona Governor Jan "Skeletor" Brewer warns President Obama that he has entered the Kingdom o' Wingnuts and that he had better beware.
Remember Republican Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal? Well he just won re-election by a landslide. Which has us here at the Bucket wondering if he’ll be the next Republican candidate to join in the fun that is Con-a-thon 2012. He was very highly touted by the GOP in 2009 until he gave his rebuttal to President Obama’s state of the union address. Could he be the next flavor of the month for the Republicans? Here’s an article and photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue to refresh our memories.
Jindal Sez It’s Okay To Want Democrat Presidents To Fail
Republican Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who was widely panned by both parties for his less than stellar rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, defended Rush Limbaugh and others who have openly wished President Obama to fail with his agenda at a recent press conference.
“Boys and girls of the United States of America,” said Jindal in a mild sing-song voice, wearing a casual red sweater, tie, slacks and sneakers. “We truly are living in exciting times aren’t we? We’ve got the very first African American President; we’ve got another thrilling season of American Idol; and our economy is on the verge of completely saying bye-bye. But you know what isn’t exciting? It’s when people say other people shouldn’t say things. And that’s what’s happening today boys and girls. Poor Republican party members like Boss Rush Limhogg are yelled at for saying innocent things like ‘I want President Obama to fail’. Poor Boss Limhogg. Poor Republicans. Why are we conservatives always the victim of mean attacks by the liberal media? That’s right boys and girls; like that sweet angel Ann Coulter says, the liberal media is bad and they’re out to get us.”
“Now I know what some of you liberals are thinking. You’re saying well didn’t Republicans say during the Bush presidency that we should always support the President no matter what? Didn’t the Republicans say things like ‘you’re either for us or against us’ or ‘people need to watch what they say’? Didn’t the Republicans say Democrats supported the terrorists? Well, yes but that was different. We had a great, brave, Republican President back then named George W. Bush. Yaaaaay! Now we have an evil, liberal, Democrat as President. Remember how bad President Clinton was? Booooooo! That means it’s perfectly okay for all good American boys and girls to say to the President, ‘You’re a liberal and you obviously hate America. Just look how much you made Glenn Beck cry. You’re a bad, bad man, so I hope you fail.’ It’s just that simple.”
“All us poor, persecuted Republicans are saying is that the only way to heal our nation’s boo-boos is with tax cuts. Yes boys and girls, tax cuts to the wealthiest of Americans are like medicine that will make all our owies better real soon. You see, rich people know best about spending and investing money, so they should have more of it. You shouldn’t have to worry your pretty little heads about something hard like investing. The smart, rich people will do that and the money will trickle down to you…in about 70 to 100 years. Giving money to dumb things like volcano monitoring and alternative transportation will only make us sad. And we want to be happy don’t we boys and girls? Besides who do you trust more: the big, bad, evil tax and spend liberal Democrat government…booooooo; or the nice, rich, corporate CEOs who only want a happy stock market…yaaaaaay! I think you all know the answer to that.”
Prominent Republicans voiced support for Jindal. Fox News personality Glenn Beck said, “This Jindal guy truly understands what it means to be a conservative Republican. I think St. Ronald Reagan would be proud. Oh God. Here I go again. I’m getting misty.” He then paused and wiped a small, small tear from his eye. “God Bless America. God Bless America.” Fellow Fox News personalities Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly rushed over and gave Beck a consoling hug. Then O’Reilly barked to the cameras, “Are you happy now, liberals?!”
Republican Party Boss, Rush Limhogg said, “I like this Jindal kid. He’s a good, useful little lackey. He knows his place. Hey! Steele! Get back here! You missed a spot on my boots. And take off your hat! I need an ashtray.”
Most conservative Republicans from all over the country responded favorably to Jindal’s statement. Todd Murphy of Rancid Holler, Georgia said, “Oh man I feel so…ummm…what’s the word I’m lookin’ fer…good. I mean I think that the Democrats are so …ummm…bad. But what Jindal done said, I think Republicans will do real….ummm…good.”
Pete Junkins of Curtisvilleton, Missouri said, “I like Jindal and all but I’m still gonna vote for Sarah Palin in 2012. I hear she hunts wolves in a bikini. Man that’s so hot!”
Jean Grayhill of Felderkarb, Tennessee said, “He talks to me like I’m an eight year old and you know what…I like it. The easier my leaders make it for me to understand, the better. I really don’t like thinking all that much. Oh look; a shiny nickel. I’m going to stare at it for a while.”
Reverend Fred Devlin of Dillweed, Virginia said, “I think with a Jindal-Palin ticket in 2012, we will most definitely see the Rapture. Come and get us Lord!”
Jeb Dean Bob Jones of Burnt Cesspool, Texas said, “All I know is I just got done watching Glenn Beck and I can’t stand to see a grown man fake cry like a little lady. I’m ready to join the revolution. President Chuck Norris of Texas forever! Where’s my AK-47? Yeeeeeee-haaaaaawwwww!”
Jindal closed his conference by saying, “Now everybody get to bed now and dream little dreams of fast cars, guns and Jesus. Sleep tight and don’t let the liberals bite.”
Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal addresses the good little boys and girls of the United States on the Republican cure for all of our nation’s owies. Yay!
Here’s some political BS from our March 7, 2009 issue.
Talk Radio Personality Rush Limbaugh took a bold step last week at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington D.C. and proclaimed himself head of the Republican party. Limbaugh, sporting a black cowboy hat and southern style suit, announced that he would know like to be known as Boss Limhogg to which the crowd of sycophantic Republicans howled with an approving “gkew-gkew-gkew”.
“My fellow conservatives,” croaked Limhogg. “Remember back during the Iraq War when I said that we should never criticize the President and how un-American that would be. Well, screw that! We are the last bastions of true patriotic Americans and it is our duty to make sure that President Barack Hussein Obama, the magic Negro, fails at everything he does as President. He doesn’t truly represent Americans; he wasn’t even born in this country. His socialist agenda would be catastrophic for our poor bankers and Wall Street CEOs who are fighting valiantly to preserve the plutocracy that we’ve worked so hard to establish. He even wants to help those homeowners who were stupid enough to take those risky loans instead of the money lenders who bravely offered them. Why it’s the second coming of Stalin I tells ya!”
New RNC Chairman Michael ‘Roscoe’ Steele was the first to acknowledge Limbaugh’s unquestioned superiority. “I apologize for ever saying Mr. Limhogg was ugly or even worse, an entertainer. He’s the finest American I know and I am proud to be his right hand flunkey. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”
Georgia GOP Representative, Phil Gingrey, who openly criticized the radio personality in January, offered nothing but flattery. “I’m so sorry about ever saying anything negative about Boss. You’re the smartest person ever and I’ll always ask your advice on every issue from now on. I love you Rush, I truly do! Oh please forgive me Rush! Please oh please oh please! Gkew-gkew-gkew!”
Many big names in the Republican Party raved about the new Boss. Former disgraced Republican Congressman Tom Delay praised Limhogg loudly and strongly. “Boss Limhogg is a great role model and I know all about role models since I am one. Every American should want to be like Rush: overweight, obnoxious, crass, rude, hypocritical, egotistical, and drug addicted. Why the world be a lot better place if we were. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”
Evangelist Pat Robertson said, “Why if Jesus Christ was right here in front of me, which he hopefully will be very soon, he’d be saying that Rush is what Christianity is all about. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”
Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani gushed, “I love Rush’s makeover. He looks like Boss Hogg and Johnny Cash all in one. I can see why he gets all the babes. Why if I were dressed up like a woman right now, I’d be all over that stylish tub of goo. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”
Dittoheads also expressed their support for Boss Limhogg. Cletus Dillman of Scarlet Thorax, Texas said, “I can’t stand the idea of being socialist. Everyone being equal and sharing things? As a Christian, I find that idea very offensive.”
Farley Kerwood of Beetle Meadows, Georgia said, “Ugggh. Rush good. Obama bad. Me hungry. Me want beer.”
Darryl Hull of Rebel Falls, Mississippi said, “I listen to Boss Limhogg everyday and I think he is such a regular guy. I would love to get together with El Rushbo and have a beer with him. That is if he ever steps foot outside his Palm Beach mansion or gets off the golf course at his country club. But I’m sure he’d acknowledge my presence.”
Boss Limhogg then dismissed his fawning minions. “In closing, we’ve got to get those Obama boys and keep our moonshine…er…money safe for all of Hazzard Coun…er…I mean the United States of America. Now everyone form a line so that you may come up here and kiss my ass” to which the audience gave a resounding “gkew, gkew gkew”.
New self-appointed Republican head honcho Boss Limhogg, dressed stylishly in his Boss Hogg/Johnny Cash ensemble, keeps his lackey, new RNC Chairman Michael "Roscoe" Steele in line.
President Obama sure is making it difficult for his supporters to maintain confidence in him. Just this past week, he postponed his jobs speech to satisfy a few GOP whiners and caved into industry and their Republican lackeys by withdrawing support for EPA supported regulations, which would have tightened pollution controls (breathing clean air is overrated anyway, right). He’s also considering capitulating to Big Oil and supporting the Tar Sands Keystone XL Pipeline, which would bring oil from Canada down through the central plains of United States to Texas to be refined (let the oil addiction continue). Not exactly the environmentally friendly, alternative energy boosting person he portrayed himself to be. At this rate, Obama may have to pull an LBJ and announce that he will not seek re-election for a second term. But then again, look at the leading GOP candidates. Yep! The 2012 election will be one titanic joke.
President Obama, like many of his fellow Democrats, seems to be regressing into an invertebrate.
