Tag Archive for Limbaugh

Mr. Science

When you think of top modern day scientists, who do you think of…Stephen Hawking, Jane Goodall, Richard Dawkins? Well, apparently El Rushblo, aka Boss Limhogg, aka Rush Limbaugh knows more about science than anyone on the planet. He’s already known for his statements knocking stem cell research, birth control and climate change. Well he was after climate scientists again last week during the invasion of the polar vortex, saying that the polar vortex was nothing but a liberal invention to “lie” to the public about the “hoax” of climate change. And Rush should know since he never graduated college. But he does sit around in his radio studio bloviating hot air all day long and he does make $70 million a year so I guess that makes him an expert. Remember, in America, if you have money, you’re an expert at everything. We thought it was funny that Al Roker called El Rushblo on his BS. Here’s a thorough explanation from White House Science and Technology Advisor, Dr. John Holdren, too. Maybe Limbaugh should actually take a refresher course in science before he opens up his mouth again. Naaaaaaah! There’s money to be made in stoking the fires of ignorance.

Rush Limbaugh, recently stated that according to his thorough research, all scientists are idiots except the ones who created Viagra and Oxycontin.

Conservative talk show host, 'El Rushblo' Rush Limbaugh, is working around the clock at Republican Science Labs to debunk the 'theories' of evolution, gravity and a round earth.

Boss Limhogg Endears Self to Women

Controversial, conservative radio talk show host and unofficial Republican party boss, Rush ‘Boss Limhogg’ Limbaugh, has opened his large mouth and gotten himself in hot water with women again. Last week, Limhogg went on a misogynistic rant against Georgetown law student, Sandra Fluke, who testified before a House Democratic Steering and Policy committee about the financial burden of contraception for female law students. Boss Limhogg called her a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute’ amongst other slurs on his show provoking outrage from many, including more centrist Republicans.

As a result, Limhogg’s radio show has lost a slew of sponsors. Does this spell the end of Boss Limhogg? Are you kidding?! This man is a conservative icon in the Republican party.  Although he ‘apologized’ to Fluke, he’s still ranting against her and women in general. This has happened tons of times before in the past twenty years. Look for nothing to change. After all, he is Boss Limhogg. We think this article over at Media Matters presents the Republicans relationship with Limhogg succinctly.

Unofficial GOP leader and female connoisseur, Boss Limhogg, reflects on the status of women in America.

Rewind: Halloween 2003

It’s Halloween again and speaking of ghouls and goblins we got to reminiscing about those glorious days of the Bush Administration. Here’s a photo-toon from our November 6, 2003 issue, when Dubya threw the mother of all Halloweenie parties at the White House. Those conservatives sure know how to party!

The Deficit and the Iraq Occupation make a surprise appearance at the Bush Administration's wacky Halloween party.

 

Jindal, Jangle, Jingle

More Political BS…

Remember Republican Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal? Well he just won re-election by a landslide. Which has us here at the Bucket wondering if he’ll be the next Republican candidate to join in the fun that is Con-a-thon 2012. He was very highly touted by the GOP in 2009 until he gave his rebuttal to President Obama’s state of the union address. Could he be the next flavor of the month for the Republicans?  Here’s an article and photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue to refresh our memories.

Jindal Sez It’s Okay To Want Democrat Presidents To Fail

Republican Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who was widely panned by both parties for his less than stellar rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, defended Rush Limbaugh and others who have openly wished President Obama to fail with his agenda at a recent press conference.

“Boys and girls of the United States of America,” said Jindal in a mild sing-song voice, wearing a casual red sweater, tie, slacks and sneakers. “We truly are living in exciting times aren’t we? We’ve got the very first African American President; we’ve got another thrilling season of American Idol; and our economy is on the verge of completely saying bye-bye. But you know what isn’t exciting? It’s when people say other people shouldn’t say things. And that’s what’s happening today boys and girls. Poor Republican party members like Boss Rush Limhogg are yelled at for saying innocent things like ‘I want President Obama to fail’. Poor Boss Limhogg. Poor Republicans. Why are we conservatives always the victim of mean attacks by the liberal media? That’s right boys and girls; like that sweet angel Ann Coulter says, the liberal media is bad and they’re out to get us.”

“Now I know what some of you liberals are thinking. You’re saying well didn’t Republicans say during the Bush presidency that we should always support the President no matter what? Didn’t the Republicans say things like ‘you’re either for us or against us’ or ‘people need to watch what they say’? Didn’t the Republicans say Democrats supported the terrorists? Well, yes but that was different. We had a great, brave, Republican President back then named George W. Bush. Yaaaaay! Now we have an evil, liberal, Democrat as President. Remember how bad President Clinton was? Booooooo! That means it’s perfectly okay for all good American boys and girls to say to the President, ‘You’re a liberal and you obviously hate America. Just look how much you made Glenn Beck cry. You’re a bad, bad man, so I hope you fail.’ It’s just that simple.”

“All us poor, persecuted Republicans are saying is that the only way to heal our nation’s boo-boos is with tax cuts. Yes boys and girls, tax cuts to the wealthiest of Americans are like medicine that will make all our owies better real soon. You see, rich people know best about spending and investing money, so they should have more of it. You shouldn’t have to worry your pretty little heads about something hard like investing. The smart, rich people will do that and the money will trickle down to you…in about 70 to 100 years. Giving money to dumb things like volcano monitoring and alternative transportation will only make us sad. And we want to be happy don’t we boys and girls? Besides who do you trust more: the big, bad, evil tax and spend liberal Democrat government…booooooo; or the nice, rich, corporate CEOs who only want a happy stock market…yaaaaaay! I think you all know the answer to that.”

Prominent Republicans voiced support for Jindal. Fox News personality Glenn Beck said, “This Jindal guy truly understands what it means to be a conservative Republican. I think St. Ronald Reagan would be proud. Oh God. Here I go again. I’m getting misty.” He then paused and wiped a small, small tear from his eye. “God Bless America. God Bless America.” Fellow Fox News personalities Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly rushed over and gave Beck a consoling hug. Then O’Reilly barked to the cameras, “Are you happy now, liberals?!”

Republican Party Boss, Rush Limhogg said, “I like this Jindal kid. He’s a good, useful little lackey. He knows his place. Hey! Steele! Get back here! You missed a spot on my boots. And take off your hat! I need an ashtray.”

Most conservative Republicans from all over the country responded favorably to Jindal’s statement. Todd Murphy of Rancid Holler, Georgia said, “Oh man I feel so…ummm…what’s the word I’m lookin’ fer…good. I mean I think that the Democrats are so …ummm…bad. But what Jindal done said, I think Republicans will do real….ummm…good.”

Pete Junkins of Curtisvilleton, Missouri said, “I like Jindal and all but I’m still gonna vote for Sarah Palin in 2012. I hear she hunts wolves in a bikini. Man that’s so hot!”

Jean Grayhill of Felderkarb, Tennessee said, “He talks to me like I’m an eight year old and you know what…I like it. The easier my leaders make it for me to understand, the better. I really don’t like thinking all that much. Oh look; a shiny nickel. I’m going to stare at it for a while.”

Reverend Fred Devlin of Dillweed, Virginia said, “I think with a Jindal-Palin ticket in 2012, we will most definitely see the Rapture. Come and get us Lord!”

Jeb Dean Bob Jones of Burnt Cesspool, Texas said, “All I know is I just got done watching Glenn Beck and I can’t stand to see a grown man fake cry like a little lady. I’m ready to join the revolution. President Chuck Norris of Texas forever! Where’s my AK-47? Yeeeeeee-haaaaaawwwww!”

Jindal closed his conference by saying, “Now everybody get to bed now and dream little dreams of fast cars, guns and Jesus. Sleep tight and don’t let the liberals bite.”

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal addresses the good little boys and girls of the United States on the Republican cure for all of our nation's owies. Yay!

Boss Limhogg Barks Orders To GOP Lackeys

Here’s some political BS from our March 7, 2009 issue.

Talk Radio Personality Rush Limbaugh took a bold step last week at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington D.C. and proclaimed himself head of the Republican party. Limbaugh, sporting a black cowboy hat and southern style suit, announced that he would know like to be known as Boss Limhogg to which the crowd of sycophantic Republicans howled with an approving “gkew-gkew-gkew”.

“My fellow conservatives,” croaked Limhogg. “Remember back during the Iraq War when I said that we should never criticize the President and how un-American that would be. Well, screw that! We are the last bastions of true patriotic Americans and it is our duty to make sure that President Barack Hussein Obama, the magic Negro, fails at everything he does as President. He doesn’t truly represent Americans; he wasn’t even born in this country. His socialist agenda would be catastrophic for our poor bankers and Wall Street CEOs who are fighting valiantly to preserve the plutocracy that we’ve worked so hard to establish. He even wants to help those homeowners who were stupid enough to take those risky loans instead of the money lenders who bravely offered them. Why it’s the second coming of Stalin I tells ya!”

New RNC Chairman Michael ‘Roscoe’ Steele was the first to acknowledge Limbaugh’s unquestioned superiority. “I apologize for ever saying Mr. Limhogg was ugly or even worse, an entertainer. He’s the finest American I know and I am proud to be his right hand flunkey. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Georgia GOP Representative, Phil Gingrey, who openly criticized the radio personality in January, offered nothing but flattery. “I’m so sorry about ever saying anything negative about Boss. You’re the smartest person ever and I’ll always ask your advice on every issue from now on. I love you Rush, I truly do! Oh please forgive me Rush! Please oh please oh please! Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Many big names in the Republican Party raved about the new Boss. Former disgraced Republican Congressman Tom Delay praised Limhogg loudly and strongly. “Boss Limhogg is a great role model and I know all about role models since I am one. Every American should want to be like Rush: overweight, obnoxious, crass, rude, hypocritical, egotistical, and drug addicted. Why the world be a lot better place if we were. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Evangelist Pat Robertson said, “Why if Jesus Christ was right here in front of me, which he hopefully will be very soon, he’d be saying that Rush is what Christianity is all about. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani gushed, “I love Rush’s makeover. He looks like Boss Hogg and Johnny Cash all in one. I can see why he gets all the babes. Why if I were dressed up like a woman right now, I’d be all over that stylish tub of goo. Gkew-gkew-gkew!”

Dittoheads also expressed their support for Boss Limhogg. Cletus Dillman of Scarlet Thorax, Texas said, “I can’t stand the idea of being socialist. Everyone being equal and sharing things? As a Christian, I find that idea very offensive.”

Farley Kerwood of Beetle Meadows, Georgia said, “Ugggh. Rush good. Obama bad. Me hungry. Me want beer.”

Darryl Hull of Rebel Falls, Mississippi said, “I listen to Boss Limhogg everyday and I think he is such a regular guy. I would love to get together with El Rushbo and have a beer with him. That is if he ever steps foot outside his Palm Beach mansion or gets off the golf course at his country club. But I’m sure he’d acknowledge my presence.”

Boss Limhogg then dismissed his fawning minions. “In closing, we’ve got to get those Obama boys and keep our moonshine…er…money safe for all of Hazzard Coun…er…I mean the United States of America. Now everyone form a line so that you may come up here and kiss my ass” to which the audience gave a resounding “gkew, gkew gkew”.

New self-appointed Republican head honcho Boss Limhogg, dressed stylishly in his Boss Hogg/Johnny Cash ensemble, keeps his lackey, new RNC Chairman Michael "Roscoe" Steele in line.