Satire that shovels it to the public – just like the real media!
As most sane people figured, the FBI’s reopening of the investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails produced no new results. But at least both Republicans and Democrats seem to agree on one thing: FBI director James Comey will probably be out of a job real soon.
Tuesday is election day America. GO VOTE!!!
Donald Trump has been claiming the whole summer with his pals from Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, that the election will be rigged. Republicans have claimed that voter fraud is rampant despite statistics showing that it is virtually non-existent. This is of course to obfuscate the voter suppression that is occurring at state level by the Republicans. This should be no surprise because ever since the Reagan years, Republicans have been claiming to be something they’re not. They claim to want government out of your lives, but approve of government controlling a woman’s uterus and warrantless wiretapping. They claim to want small government but government has grown incredibly under Republican regimes. They claim to be ‘compassionate’ conservatives, and yet they don’t want healthcare for everyone and want to eliminate Medicare and Social Security. The list goes on and on. So basically when a Republican claims that Democrats are rigging the election, you can pretty well bet that the Republicans are working on rigging the election.
So what happened this past week: a Trump supporter was arrested in Iowa for voting twice. Yes, Donald Trump predicted voter fraud and his supporters are making damn sure his prediction comes true.
Several incredibly disturbing items of information have come to light since FBI director James Comey decided to make this farce of an election called Con-a-thon 2016 more excruciating last Friday.
First of all, this may be all to do about nothing. In clarifying his purpose, Comey stated that he said they may be a connection with Anthony Weiner’s email to Clinton, not that there was. And since there are over 600,000 emails to process, a solid answer won’t be known until after the election. The DOJ has already filed a complaint against Comey and several former Attorney Generals, including former Bush lackey, Alberto Gonzales, have stepped forward and accused Comey of wrongdoing. Well, how convenient Mr. James Comey! You don’t know for sure, but you thought you’d give into the Republican pressure and throw some kerosene on the fire.
Second of all, information has leaked about a possible computer connection between Donald Trump and Russia. Much has been made about the bromance between Trump and Russian leader, Vladimir Putin. Trump and many top Republicans have even stated that Putin is a stronger leader than Obama, completely ignoring the fact that Putin is an authoritarian dictator, which speaks volumes about the mindset of the current Teabagger Republicans.
Which brings us back to James Comey. Comey has said that he doesn’t believe there’s a connection between Trump and Russia and didn’t want to pursue the matter before the election. But yet, he was perfectly fine with bringing up the remote possibility of finding a connection between Weiner and Hillary Clinton before the election. We think your partisanship is showing Mr. Comey. We also think maybe unemployment may be an option in your immediate future.
And for all those Republicans who think Vladimir Putin is so great…MOVE TO RUSSIA!!!
Just when you thought the possibility of a Trumpocalypse was over and you could breath safely…
FBI Director and one tall dude(6’8″), James Comey, decided Friday that Americans weren’t stressed out enough about the elections and decided to throw some raw meat to Donald Trump’s drooling thugs. Comey, a lifelong Republican, decided to conveniently re-open the email investigations with a little more than a week left until the election. This investigation doesn’t concern emails on Hillary’s server, but emails pertaining to Anthony Weiner. Comey, claims that he just wants to make sure that there is no wrongdoing here or as one lawyer put it, he’s covering his ass. The DOJ promptly fired back with a complaint against Comey. We find it interesting, that Comey, who claims he isn’t a Republican anymore, has long had ties to them and he even did his thesis in college on everyone’s favorite evangelical theocrat James Falwell. What’s interesting is that back in June, Comey claimed the matter closed and that no reasonable prosecutor would pursue the matter. But here it is, almost election time (and Halloween)…and surprise, surpise – more emails! Maybe Comey had this planned all along like the Democrats are now claiming. Or maybe he is just covering his ass and making absolutely positive that there was no wrongdoing like he did before. All we know is that this goddamn farce that is Con-a-thon 2016 can’t get over soon enough. Thanks for the added stress Mr. James Comey! Can we send our medical bills for anxiety and mental fatigue to you?
While John McCain may be staying in Arizona politics for a while longer, another bastion of Arizona conservatism may be riding off into the sunset very soon; Sheriff Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio. We’ve commented before about authoritarian, demagogue Sheriff Joe and his crazy support of fellow birther Donald Trump. Now it finally appears that he’s getting his comeuppance for his racial profiling laws. Arpaio has officially been charged with criminal contempt of court and could be spending six months in prison. And of course, all of Sheriff Joe’s shenanigans have cost Arizona taxpayers millions of dollars. On top of this, his Democrat opponent in the Maricopa County sheriff election, Paul Penzone, has a lead on him in the latest polls. What poetic justice: not only will Arpaio finally be retiring from public office, he very well could become a resident of his own infamous creation, Tent City. We hope he enjoys the 100+ degree heat, his pink underwear and green bologna… oh and the undying love and admiration of his fellow inmates.
We’ve commented before about so called ‘maverick’ Arizona Senator John McCain’s about face on Senate confirmation of Supreme Court nominations. Well, he recently confirmed what everyone knew; that the Republicans will continue their pattern of obstructionism if Hillary Clinton becomes President. To hell with his constitutional duty; the Republican Party comes first in America. This pretty much cements our opinion here at the Bucket that Senator McCain is well past his prime and needs to retire. Fortunately, his Democrat opponent, Ann Kirkpatrick, is hitting hard with her ads against McCain, commenting about his support of right wing wackos from Sarah Palin to Donald Trump. Will it be enough to defeat him? We’re not holding our breath. Unfortunately, most polls indicate McCain winning handily. So it appears we’ll have at least six more years of Republican partisanship with our crusty, old, obstructionist prospector senator, John McCain.
Mercifully, the last debate of the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016 is over. Probably the biggest moment of the debate was when orange haired, authoritarian megalomaniac and GOP nominee, Donald Trump, refused to say whether or not he would accept the results of the election. We really shouldn’t be surprised by Trump’s behavior any more. For the last year and a half, he’s acted pretty much like a big baby, who whines when things don’t go his way and blames everyone else for his misfortune.
The strangest twist to come from the debate is that amid Trump’s charges of a ‘rigged’ election, the Donald’s bromance partner, Vladimir Putin and Russia now want to monitor the U.S. elections to guarantee smooth, safe, truthful democratic elections…because…you know…when you think of smooth, safe, truthful, democratic elections you automatically think of Russia.
Needless to say, we can’t wait for this stupid election to be over. Come on November 8th!
The fallout from Pussygate continues for GOP nominee Donald Trump. More women have come forward with allegations of improper sexual advances. The orange haired rage monster’s polls continue to drop and he’s in full blamestorming mode, pointing fingers at everyone but himself. But the one thing that continues to astonish most people is that evangelical christians, who blather on and on and on about morality and family values, continue to support this obvious horndog. Maybe we’re missing something…Oh yeah! We completely forgot about Jesus’ little known Sermon at the Strip Club, where he told his fellow apostles “Thou shalt moveth on the bitch, and grabbeth her by the pussy.”
Sometimes reality writes the best jokes…
There have been a rash of creepy clown sightings world wide recently. But nothing like the huuuuuuuge sighting last night in St. Louis, Missouri at the 2nd Presidential Debate. Yes America… Donald Trump is the Ultimate Creepy Clown.
Another day, another ugly revelation about Donald Trump. They’re coming so fast and furious we can’t keep up with them. A tape surfaced Friday which revealed that Donald Trump was not just a misogynist but a perverted misogynist and unbelievably people are shocked! This authoritarian megalomaniac has been saying lewd things about women for the past year and people are still shocked???!!!!
But we’ll comment further on that in upcoming posts. For now, we’re going to try to catch up on the Donald possibly not paying taxes for the past twenty years. In the first presidential debate, Hillary goaded Trump into pretty much admitting he pays no income tax. Furthermore, he thinks he’s smart for doing so. Not only that, Trump’s acolytes like Suckinupagus Christie and Rudy Giuliani praised Trump and called Trump a genius for not paying his fair share. Of course, this is a core belief that Republicans have been adhering to since…forever. Paying taxes is for losers. Only people with money shouldn’t have to pay taxes because they’re ‘winners’. Or in other words, I got mine… f*ck you! Now, we’d hardly call that a christian attitude. But then again, the Republicans have been conning the evangelicals for years. Look at the GOP nominee for President and his puritanical VP. We’re pretty sure that greedmeister Trump will come up with some sure fire plan to make money off of not paying his taxes. His sheeple are already lining up. Like P.T. Barnum said “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
