Republicans: Making Russia Great Again

Several incredibly disturbing items of information have come to light since FBI director James Comey decided to make this farce of an election called Con-a-thon 2016 more excruciating last Friday.

First of all, this may be all to do about nothing. In clarifying his purpose, Comey stated that he said they may be a connection with Anthony Weiner’s email to Clinton, not that there was. And since there are over 600,000 emails to process, a solid answer won’t be known until after the election.  The DOJ has already filed a complaint against Comey and several former Attorney Generals, including former Bush lackey, Alberto Gonzales,  have stepped forward and accused Comey of wrongdoing. Well, how convenient Mr. James Comey! You don’t know for sure, but you thought you’d give into the Republican pressure and throw some kerosene on the fire.

Second of all, information has leaked about a possible computer connection between Donald Trump and Russia. Much has been made about the bromance between Trump and Russian leader, Vladimir Putin. Trump and many top Republicans have even stated that Putin is a stronger leader than Obama, completely ignoring the fact that Putin is an authoritarian dictator, which speaks volumes about the mindset of the current Teabagger Republicans.

Which brings us back to James Comey. Comey has said that he doesn’t believe there’s a connection between Trump and Russia and didn’t want to pursue the matter before the election. But yet, he was perfectly fine with bringing up the remote possibility of finding a connection between Weiner and Hillary Clinton before the election. We think your partisanship is showing Mr. Comey. We also think maybe unemployment may be an option in your immediate future.

And for all those Republicans who think Vladimir Putin is so great…MOVE TO RUSSIA!!!

Vladimir Putin welcomes Republicans to Russia and initiates them to Putin style freedom of speech and press.
Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, welcomes with pointed AK-47, all Republicans who admire his ‘democratic’ style.

Top Titles And Plots For Future Bourne Movies

The new movie, The Bourne Legacy, is due to open in theaters in August. However, in this movie, the action will revolve around a new character, Aaron Cross and not Jason Bourne, the former CIA assassin, turned rogue agent. This movie will surely be a blockbuster and the Bourne franchise will probably continue well into the future much like the James Bond series. Everybody loves a good spy film, right? Well, the BilgeBucket staff has come up with a list of suggested titles and plots for upcoming movies in the Bourne universe. If Hollywood chooses these gems, the movies are sure to be a smashing success!

  • New Bourne KingBourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s Jesus
  • The Bourne LosersBourne gets amnesia and becomes a member of the Kansas City Royals
  • Bourne on the Fourth of JulyBourne get amnesia and thinks he’s James Cagney
  • Bourne to RunBourne gets amnesia and a chronic case of diarrhea
  • Bourne to be WildBourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s Lady Gaga
  • First BourneBourne regains his memory temporarily and remembers his days as a schoolyard assassin
  • Bourne AgainBourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a televangelist
  • Water BourneBourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a dolphin
  • A Star is BourneBourne gets amnesia and becomes the toast of Broadway starring as Eliza Doolittle in a revival of My Fair Lady
  • Bourne FreeBourne gets amnesia and tries to live as a lion on the savannahs of Africa
  • Bourne on the BayouBourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a Cajun crocodile farmer
  • To the Manor BourneBourne gets amnesia and has bawdy adventures as a well heeled gentleman in merry old England
  • Natural Bourne KillersBourne gets amnesia and confronts a whole slew of people who just want to kill him (Wait…that’s the plot for the first three movies)
  • Bourne YesterdayBourne gets amnesia and time travels back to The Bourne Identity and relives his adventures from his first movie
  • Bourne and BreadBourne gets amnesia and makes lots of dough as a baker