Satire that shovels it to the public – just like the real media!
Continuing with our Ann Coulter retrospective… Remember the time when Ann Coulter joked about slipping some rat poison into then Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens’ creme brulee? Hmmmm. Sounds like Ms. Coulter would be perfect for Hell’s Kitchen. This photo-toon from our February 13, 2006 issue depicts Chef Coulter delivering the goods. What a ray of sunshine she is!
The specter of right wing conservative angel, Ann Coulter, reared it’s ugly head again recently. In an effort to be her usual charming self, Ms. Coulter attempted to mock the #BringBackOurGirls campaign on Twitter and Facebook that completely blew up in her face — hilariously.
We don’t make fun of neocon personalities like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly or Ann Coulter very much anymore because frankly it’s just not worth it commenting on piles of dung that are shaped like human beings. But we’ll run a brief retrospective of Ms. Coulter with a couple of our favorite photo-toons from the early aughts. Here’s one from June 19th, 2006 where Annie aimed her rapier wit at those ruthless 9/11 widows.
Last month, aging rocker and gun aficionado Ted Nugent, a.k.a The Motor City Madman, commented that President Obama was a ‘subhuman mongrel’. Nugent is well known for his outspoken hatred of President Obama but even this statement brought condemnation from many Republicans, even the folks at Fox News, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network. This outrage is justified as that particular phrase was used by the Nazis to condone the extermination of not only Jews but Slavs, Poles, communists, socialists, Roma and homosexuals. But there was one Tea Party patriot who gave the ‘Nuge’ a thumbs up. Sarah Palin endorsed Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott, by saying “if he’s good enough for Ted Nugent, he’s good enough for me”. Yes, the Republican party sure has admirable spokespeople for the future.
Recently, Bill Nye debated creationist Ken Ham at the Creation Museum on creationism vs. evolution. We here at the Bucket are fans of Bill Nye and we applaud his efforts to teach science, logic and reason to the American people, who in general are severely lacking in scientific understanding (80% Americans actually believe in angels). Now, we’re really impressed with him because 92% of respondents in a Christian Today poll concluded that Nye won the debate. Even conservative christian wing nut poster boy Pat Robertson said that Ken Ham should just shut up. So kudos to Bill Nye for having the patience to debate a narrow minded doofus, because if it were any of us here at the Bucket, we would have just said ‘screw it’ and thumped Ham over the head with an oversized cartoon mallet.
Former Arkansas Governor and perennial GOP presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, recently made headlines by commenting that Democrats are trying to convince women they need ‘Uncle Sugar’ to control their libidos. Of course, Mr. Huckabee, being a bible thumping conservative christian, prefers old-fashioned, holier methods of birth control to help women such as abstinence, prayer and a good old chastity belt.
Do you need a last minute holiday gift? You came to the right place! Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book just in time for you to buy it and stuff it… in your stocking for Christmas, Festivus or whatever the hell holiday you celebrate this time of year. He gives key strategies on dealing with people who have non-Christian ideologies and how to beat the holy hell out them, all in the joyous spirit of the season. And with a foreward by Ms. Ubetcha, how can anyone refuse!
Hey everyone…Sarah Palin’s back in the news. Yay!!!
We don’t waste much time on the Tea Party Princess anymore because…well…she’s a waste of time. But Ms. Ubetcha was out recently promoting her book on the ‘War on Christmas’ when she made comments about how Pope Francis was sounding kind of liberal lately. Really? Imagine that. Bill Maher’s reply to her ‘insightful’ comment hit the nail on the head. Maybe she would like our ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ t-shirt as a gift for Xmas.
It’s no secret that the Republicans have been against Obamacare since day 1; I mean they shutdown the government because of it. But at the same time, they’ve offered no plans of their own. But on the contrary…we found an article in our August 31, 2006 issue where the Republicans came up with a fantastic plan that had their party all a- titter with excitement.
Responding to the fact that almost 46 million Americans are without health insurance, conservative congressional Republicans are pushing for a new faith based health plan administered by churches instead of insurance companies. Proponents estimate that this new prayer health plan could save people millions of dollars.
Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, who is also a doctor, described the new plan. “This affordable plan works in the following way. The participant phones in a prayer to the health insurance prayer network and our authorized prayer speakers, who are much holier than you, say a prayer for your health and well being. All this for only $50 a month for a family of four. Of course, if you want holier people, like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell to pray for you, you can opt for the $75 a month plan; for a family of four. What a bargain! Then there is the elite plan where President Bush will pray for you for $100 a month. Just think; God’s chosen one praying for you and your family! You’re sure to stay healthy! These plans don’t cover single people over 18, because in the Lord’s eyes, you must be married to a member of the opposite sex, before your life is worth anything. And no atheists, non-Christians, tree-huggers, free-thinkers, anti-War protesters, abortionists, gun control freaks, gays, lesbians, Democraps or other liberal wackos. To be covered you must convert to Christianity and Republicanism. And what’s more, you don’t need to see a doctor since you’re connected straight to the Lord. It looks like I’m out of business, heh-heh!”
Many in the religious community hailed the plan as revolutionary. “This new health care plan is exactly what America needs,” said televangelist Jerry Falwell. “Every thinking man knows that germs, bacteria and viruses are just the creation of the liberal elite and smartsy fartsy scientists. The only way to truly protect you and your family against illness is to pray, pray, pray.”
Pat Robertson, host of the 700 Club, said “This is truly a great day for God-fearing Americans everywhere. Soon the evil, godless liberals will die off because they can’t participate in this plan and won’t want to convert. Then America will be cleansed and ready for the Rapture, which will be coming any day now, according to my communications with the Almighty.”
The Union for Advancement of Science spokesman Dr. Alfred Maxwell shook his head and said, “This is absolutely unbelievable. What is going on here? Have we taken a step back into the Middle Ages? What’s next? Witch burnings and inquisitions? I…I…I’m utterly speechless. This does it. I can’t stands it no more. I’m moving to Canada. Sure they’re idea of fun is curling, but at least if I get sick up there, it won’t put me and my family into debilitating debt for all eternity.”
Many Americans seemed relieved about the new health plan. Janice Wilcox of Shannon, West Virginia said, “Hallelujah! I never did trust those scientists and doctors. They said my lousy diet and no exercise was causing my obesity and bad health. Well nuts to them. All I need is prayer! I’m going for the President Bush plan. He talks to God, you know.”
Karl Billings of Tarrington, Georgia said, “At last; an end to all that evil scientific research and knowledge gaining. That stem cell research was just a liberal coverup for murdering innocent embryos. Maybe now people will do the Lord’s work and start killing some Muslims!”
Joe Jones of Lake Runamucka, Tennessee said, “Finally! An affordable risk-free health plan that’s sure to work.”
He’s baaaaaaacck…. That’s right everyone. Everybody’s favorite money launderer, Tom ‘The Hammer’ DeLay is back after his conviction was overturned (by a Texas judge of course). He is now on a ‘mission from God’ and aims to lead a ‘constitutional revival’ behind the scenes. Great! Another wacko Texan who ‘speaks to God’. Please Texas, secede from the USA. Please!!!!
Here’s a photo-toon from our April 10, 2006 issue when ‘The Hammer’ announced he wouldn’t seek re-election because of the money laundering charges.
It’s no secret that the performance of the ACA website, healthcare.gov., has been less than spectacular. The words ‘lackluster’ or ‘dismal’ come to mind. But in these modern times of agile software development, where the goal is to just get the product out at deadline and then fix the myriads of problems after release, it shouldn’t come as any surprise at all to anybody familiar with software development. But you’d think the Obama administration would have found some competent developers on what will be his legacy piece of legislation. Nevertheless, the failures associated with healthcare.gov seem to be happening on very fundamental issues. It seems very fishy to us. Could there have been sabotage from…I don’t know…developers with conservative Republican bias? It turns out that the Canadian company, CGI, which contracted to do the website, contributed heavily to Republican coffers. Wow. Can you imagine a bunch of Teabagger patriots working on the site? No wonder it’s not working correctly.
