The holiday season is in full swing. If you’ve got a big family and many friends you just may be in danger of overlooking somebody until the last possible minute. No worries! We’re here to help!

We’ve come up with a list of swell gifts to buy from your local drug store at five minutes to closing on Christmas Eve for that lucky someone. You’ll definitely be remembered for your . . . eh-hem . . . thoughtfulness.

• A tube of hemorrhoid cream
• A CD of ‘Fabio’s Greatest Christmas Hits’ (in the discount bin)
• A pack of Marlboro Lights
• A jar of calcium gummies
  
• A ribbed condom
• A tube of holiday gift wrap
• A bitchin’ sphygmomanometer
• A crazy swirly glass straw
• A roll of toilet paper (this was like gold back in 2020)
• Some hearing aid batteries
• An ovulation test kit
  
• A DVD of ‘Christmas with the Kranks’ (in the super discount bin)
• A package of leopard print jeggings
  
• If you’re in Texas, an AR-15
• A ‘fifth’ of Jack Daniels