Continuing with our final installment of our brief ‘something completely different – get me the hell out of the nightmare year that is 2020’ photo-toon retrospective. . .
Sylvester Stallone has made many films in his long Hollywood career, but he is most notably known for his character Rocky Balboa and the film series franchise which has chronicled the pugilist from Philadelphia for umpty-nine movies since 1976, when Rocky won the Best Picture Academy Award. Quite honestly, in our opinion here at the Bucket, Stallone’s best acting performance was as a small town police officer uncovering corruption in the NYPD in the forgotten 1997 movie Cop Land. But Rocky has been his go-to meal ticket for over forty years, why should he stop now.
Here’s a photo-toon from our December 22, 2006 issue featuring Sylvester Stallone making yet another comeback in Rocky XXV: Still Cocky. This time the rapidly aging boxer must face off against a truly menacing cockfighting rooster.
The new movie, The Bourne Legacy, is due to open in theaters in August. However, in this movie, the action will revolve around a new character, Aaron Cross and not Jason Bourne, the former CIA assassin, turned rogue agent. This movie will surely be a blockbuster and the Bourne franchise will probably continue well into the future much like the James Bond series. Everybody loves a good spy film, right? Well, the BilgeBucket staff has come up with a list of suggested titles and plots for upcoming movies in the Bourne universe. If Hollywood chooses these gems, the movies are sure to be a smashing success!
New Bourne King – Bourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s Jesus
The Bourne Losers – Bourne gets amnesia and becomes a member of the Kansas City Royals
Bourne on the Fourth of July – Bourne get amnesia and thinks he’s James Cagney
Bourne to Run – Bourne gets amnesia and a chronic case of diarrhea
Bourne to be Wild – Bourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s Lady Gaga
First Bourne – Bourne regains his memory temporarily and remembers his days as a schoolyard assassin
Bourne Again – Bourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a televangelist
Water Bourne – Bourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a dolphin
A Star is Bourne – Bourne gets amnesia and becomes the toast of Broadway starring as Eliza Doolittle in a revival of My Fair Lady
Bourne Free – Bourne gets amnesia and tries to live as a lion on the savannahs of Africa
Bourne on the Bayou – Bourne gets amnesia and thinks he’s a Cajun crocodile farmer
To the Manor Bourne – Bourne gets amnesia and has bawdy adventures as a well heeled gentleman in merry old England
Natural Bourne Killers – Bourne gets amnesia and confronts a whole slew of people who just want to kill him (Wait…that’s the plot for the first three movies)
Bourne Yesterday – Bourne gets amnesia and time travels back to The Bourne Identity and relives his adventures from his first movie
Bourne and Bread – Bourne gets amnesia and makes lots of dough as a baker