Corporate States of America – Page 37

Boehner’s Holy Revelation

There was some huge news this past week and we here at the Bucket are suffering from a massive case of Schadenfreude. Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has announced that he is resigning effective the end of the month. Of course, Boehner milked the moment for every thing it was worth in true christian martyr fashion, proclaiming by stepping down he is saving congress. However, we believe that Papa Francisco’s visit had a lot to do with the Orange Man’s departure. Boehner, a life long Catholic, was very moved by the pope’s visit. We think that while listening to his speech and looking out at the ‘christian’ Republicans sitting in the Senate and House, Boehner had a gobsmack revelation when he realized what astounding, hypocritical assholes he and his colleagues were in comparison with the pope.

Boehner provided a lot of laughs for us here at the Bucket over the years but we’re sure that his nut job replacement as Speaker will soon be providing comedic gold for satirists everywhere. We say good riddance to the Chief Oompa Loompa with one more photo-toon for the road.

Pope Francis' visit to Congress opened Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner's eyes and helped him realize what a colossal asshole he has been. — Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner, bids farewell to Congress after realizing what a colossal asshole he has been.

The Ice Queen Fibbeth

Carly Fiorina has ‘surged’ into second place in the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016. But she has caught a lot of flak recently and deservedly so for out and out lying about Planned Parenthood. This failed CEO and stone cold Ice Queen cooked up a video to support her lies. (Imagine that: a Republican making shit up!) But that’s par for the course for today’s compassionate, ‘pro-life’, conservative Republican. Tea Party Republicans in Congress right now are trying to defund Planned Parenthood stating that it would save taxpayers money on providing abortion services even though according to facts (something Republicans hate and ignore), only 3% of the money afforded to Planned Parenthood goes to abortion services. Here’s another article that points out the Republicans incoherence. Most of Planned Parenthood services go to STD prevention, cancer screening and providing contraception consultation. Make no mistake, the right wing, evangelical christians will do anything including the distinctly unchristian lying, cheating and deceiving to make sure a woman has no choice but to have her baby even if it might possibly mean the woman’s life ends. ‘Pro-life’ indeed!

In Carly Fiorina's mind, Planned Parenthood armies will force abortions on pregnant women and sell the body parts for drugs and liquor. — GOP Presidential candidate and stone cold Ice Queen, Carly Fiorina, creates a new fib of gigantic proportions in hopes of eliminating Planned Parenthood and winning the votes of the right wing wackos in charge of the Republican party.

Walker Walks

And another one bites the dust…

That Republican clown car is getting roomier and roomier. Scott Walker has exited the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. This one is a bit of a shocker for us here at the Bucket. Walker was one of the darlings of the deep pocketed (or is it derp pocketed) Koch brothers. We figured he would be in it until the Republican convention. But his poll numbers dropped to less than 1%, so he decided to walk. We’ll sum up his departure simply; a simple photo-toon for a simple man.

Scott Walker sums up his 2016 presidential campaign with a big derp. — Scott Walker sums up his 2016 presidential campaign in true Walkeresque fashion.

Perry’s Outta There!

One down, umpty-nine to go…

Well there’s a little more elbow room in the Republican clown car tonight, as former Texas governor Rick Perry has dropped out of the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. Of course, the writing was on the wall, since it was reported recently that his staff wasn’t getting paid. We here at the Bucket have concluded that despite his makeover with smarter looking glasses, they just weren’t smart looking enough. Better luck in 2020, Poindexter.

Former Texas governor Rick Perry vows to run for President again in 2020 with smarter looking glasses and a much pointier clown hat.

Cheney: Wrong On Everything

Guess who reared his ugly head again? That’s right; everyone’s favorite Dick, Dick Cheney. The American war criminal and all around lying munchhead, was making rounds in the media proclaiming to all that Obama Iran Deal was ‘madness’. What is madness is that any supposedly ‘liberal’ media outlet would let this hawkish, manipulative piece of excrement in its studios, spreading his lies and propaganda to the public. Fortunately, the White House has come out with a video at showing how wrong Cheney has been about everything. (We’re including the video at the end of this post.) WHAT A DICK!!!

Also, we started a policy here earlier this year that whenever Dick Cheney appeared in the press spouting his lies, we’d repeat his biggest one on Iraq. This is precisely the same strategy taken by the Bush Administration and the Republican Fear and Noise Machine, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a Fox News; to repeat things ad nauseum until the sheeple get it. Every person in America needs to see this video because it proves that at least one very influential person in the Bush Administration knew the Iraq War would be a quagmire and went ahead with it anyway saying instead that we would be greeted as liberators. Bush and Cheney are liars and need to be prosecuted! PLEASE…take time out and view this video!

Trump? Chump!

The Donald Trump charade continues as the neocon media circus focuses gigantic amounts of attention on the inanity spoken by the megalomaniac billionaire. This past week, ‘the Donald’ made headlines by not only gaining in the polls, but by throwing well respected Hispanic journalist Jorge Ramos from his news conference. Hmmm….not the best way to ensure the Latino vote. But that doesn’t matter to the darling of the Tea Party. No sir. Accordingly to the script planned by the corporate owned neocon media and their lackeys in congress, everything is going exactly as planned. Donald Trump is looking outrageous right now to everybody by design. The crazier he sounds now the better for the corporate backed candidates Scott Walker and especially Jeb Bush next year when it counts. This latest row with Ramos is a prime example. Jeb Bush is fluent in Spanish and supposedly ‘well versed’ in Latino affairs. When presented with a choice of the xenophobic Trump or Bush, the choice for a conservative Latino is naturally going to be Bush. Remember, the neocon media like Fox News are masters at propaganda and we’ve got 14 months to go before the election. They can manipulate the minds and decision making of scores of sheeple in that time. It’s also helping the GOP cause that Trump is agreeing with many things Democrats are saying (the Iraq War was a mistake, Dubya was horrible). This makes it easier for Fox to spin that Trump is really a closet Democrat and shouldn’t be trusted.

Yes, Trump is the perfect sacrificial lamb for the GOP because, it doesn’t matter if his campaign fails or not. He’ll still be a big shot even if he loses the nomination. This is because he is a master at media manipulation, self-promotion and self-aggrandizement. In Donald Trump’s mind he will always be the best human being ever, even if the rest of us decide he is a chump.

Megalomaniac clown, Donald Trump the Chump, wants to make America white again. — For many sane Americans, the decision on Donald Trump is already clear.

Republicans On Iran: War Is Good Business

In mid-July, the United States and five other world powers, Great Britain, France, Germany, Russia and China, reached a historic agreement with Iran which will significantly stifle Iran’s ability to make a nuclear device while easing sanctions, which were destroying Iran’s economy. Most people hailed this as an historic accord. Scientists recently proclaimed their support for the deal as well as retired generals and admirals. And yet, the agreement is in danger of not passing the Senate. Hmmm…..given the history of the Republicans dealing with the Obama administration, we wonder who could possibly object to this ground breaking piece of diplomacy? Hmmm…who could it be?

That’s right folks. The whiny, sucky, crybabies known as the Republican party and a few war mongering Democrats like Chuck Schumer, plan to vote against it. You see it’s pretty simple. Obama supports it, so the GOP is against it. It’s been that way since 2009. Plus, most of the Republicans are on the payroll of the military industrial complex defense companies so naturally they follow the slogan that ‘Diplomacy is for wimps. War is just good business’. And senile Senator from Arizona John McCain, just wants to ‘bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran’. The Republican’s objection to the Iran deal is proof that they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the White House or to handle foreign relations. Not unless we want more backbreaking, money sucking quagmires like Afghanistan or Iraq. Yep, the same people who brought you the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq want to bring you a glorious new quagmire in Iran.

The new Iran nuclear agreement, which is supported by US, UK, France, Germany, Russia, China, scientists and generals, is greeted by chants of 'bomb Iran' by war mongering Senators like John McCain and military industrialist plutocrats who say that war is just good business. — Much to the dismay of President Obama, military industrialist plutocrats and conservative Republicans prefer war to diplomacy when it comes to Iran, because, you know, war is good business.

The Republican Con Is On!

So Donald Trump, fresh from his comments on breastfeeding women, is the front runner of the Republican party with a meager 15 months left before the elections? Wow! What are we going to do? We guess that everyone should buy a tarp to protect themselves from all the bullshit that’s being propelled by the media, who are actually giving credibility to this con job. But then again this is Con-a-thon 2016. What else should we expect?

The Republicans are masters of propaganda and the art of the con. They’ve learned their lessons from 2012 and 2008. That’s why they’ve got the clown car filled with sixteen candidates; just enough flavor-of-the-months to get through to November 2016. In case you haven’t figured it out, the GOP establishment, mainly the Koch Brothers, have decided that Jeb Bush and Scott Walker are the best candidates. So to protect these guys from actual scrutiny, they’ve got fourteen other candidates to sacrifice themselves for the Republican cause by saying outrageous statements that make the other guys in the clown car appear to be sane. Donald Trump is just the first. Do you honestly think ‘the Donald’ will be selected to be the standard bearer for the Republican party? It looks like Mike Huckabee could be the second with his statements about Obama putting the Jews in the oven with the Iran deal. We know from 2012 that Rick ‘the Dick’ Santorum is good for several months worth of spewing forth crap and Chris Christie is chock full of hot air. Just look at him for Pete’s sake! And then there’s Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul…it’s a cornucopia of blithering insanity. But in the end, the Republicans will put another Bush on the ticket and America will be stuck with another media anointed Bush-Clinton election. Freedom of choice in America? The Con is On!

Donald Trump's outrageous statements about immigrants, John McCain and breastfeeding women make the other candidates in the Republican clown car appear sane.

The Media Con Is On!

An amazing thing happened here in Arizona recently. Self proclaimed democratic socialist and Democratic candidate for president, Bernie Sanders, drew 11,000+ people to his rally in Phoenix, Arizona. Let us repeat that. Liberal Bernie Sanders drew 11,000+ people to his rally in red state Arizona. That’s more than the 4,200 than conservative, billionaire blowhard Donald Trump drew when he was in Phoenix. (Of course, Donald Trump, being the egotistical, bombastic salesman that he is, claimed that 15,000 people attended, even though the Phoenix Fire department said it was 4,200). You’d think the so called ‘liberal’ media would be all over the Sanders rally, exclaiming 24/7 that a liberal drew record crowds in a red state. That night the local, mostly conservative media outlets gave it only a passing mention, but instead devoted several minutes to the Donald’s comments about Arizona Senator John McCain not being a war hero. We checked CNN the next day and nary a mention of Sanders amazing rally. But they sure had coverage of Donald Trump’s mouth.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the neocon media con is on! We’ll be posting more on this elaborate and concerted effort by monied interest to bamboozle the American public into voting for the Republican candidate of choice of the corporate oligarchy that runs this country. Right now Donald Trump is doing his crazy billionaire schtick to make the other Republican candidates look sane by comparison. Our corporate overlords’ hope is that by next summer, Jeb Bush or Scott Walker will be looking like the only reasonable choice, especially if the media gives little coverage to sane, responsible people like Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton.

Liberal Bernie Sanders recently drew a crowd of 11,000 people in red state Arizona, but the big news is the inane blathering of megalomaniac, billionaire blowhard, Donald Trump.

Rewind: Bullshit Accomplished

From the “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” file, a recent poll indicated that George W. Bush now polls more favorably than Hillary Clinton and President Obama. Really??!!! Are Americans’ memories that bad? Apparently so. We’ve posted before about Louisiana Republicans blaming the Hurricane Katrina response on Obama. It’s a pretty common phenomenon that people become more popular once they’re out of office (the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder comes to mind). But have Americans really forgotten the crap that ol’ Dubya got us into like the financial crisis, the Hurricane Katrina response, the monstrous deficit, infrastructure collapse, environmental destruction, the failed pursuit of Osama Bin Laden and of course the clusterf*ck otherwise known as the Iraq War. We think it’s time for a little rewind to our September 25, 2003 edition when America was still basking in the glow of Dubya prancing around in a flight suit on the deck of an aircraft carrier proclaiming to the world ‘Mission Accomplished’. More like ‘Bullshit Accomplished’.

President Bush, prancing around in a flight suit, thanks gullible Americans for believing his crap as he wins the Emmy for the Best Politically Motivated Photo Op of the Year. — President Bush wins the Emmy for the Best Politically Motivated Photo Op of the Year.