Spill? What Spill?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia has finally been declared safe for drinking after a chemical spill into the Elk River from Freedom Industries on January 9th. This happened when an aging containment tank leaked MCHM, which is an agent used in processing coal, into the Elk River above the water intake for the company which provides water service for the area. It appears that this facility hadn’t been inspected by federal or state officials since 1991. It was also just determined that another chemical called PPH was also leaked into the water. Of course, since the government is controlled by the oil, gas and coal industries, it’s not surprising that Washington is using the  “there’s nothing to see here” approach to damage control (remember the BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill a few years back). John Boehner said no new regulations are needed and all the other corporate lackeys in Washington are keeping mum as well. But this shouldn’t be surprising since our elected officials, especially Republicans, have been trying to reduce regulations and oversight since the Reagan administration. Dubya even put industry officials in key positions in the EPA. That’s like putting the mouse in charge of the cheese. Next industry officials will be trying to spin that MCHM and PPH are good for you. It’s smells like licorice, how bad can it be, right?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia tastes a lot like Freedom these days thanks to the coal industry.
A coal industry representative performs damage control with the citizens of Charleston, West Virginia after a chemical spill from an aging Freedom Industries tank leaked into the local water supply.

The Gospel According To Sarah

Hey everyone…Sarah Palin’s back in the news. Yay!!!

We don’t waste much time on the Tea Party Princess anymore because…well…she’s a waste of time. But Ms. Ubetcha was out recently promoting her book on the ‘War on Christmas’ when she made comments about how Pope Francis was sounding kind of liberal lately. Really? Imagine that. Bill Maher’s reply to her ‘insightful’ comment hit the nail on the head.  Maybe she would like our ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ t-shirt as a gift for Xmas.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, offers his support for Sarah Palin, advice on dealing with people of different religious persuasions, and suggestions for a great stocking stuffer this holiday season.

 


DeLay Tactics

He’s baaaaaaacck…. That’s right everyone. Everybody’s favorite money launderer, Tom ‘The Hammer’ DeLay is back after his conviction was overturned (by a Texas judge of course). He is now on a ‘mission from God’ and aims to lead a ‘constitutional revival’ behind the scenes. Great! Another wacko Texan who ‘speaks to God’. Please Texas, secede from the USA. Please!!!!

Here’s a photo-toon from our April 10, 2006 issue when ‘The Hammer’ announced he wouldn’t seek re-election because of the money laundering charges.

Republican Congressman Tom 'The Hammer' DeLay announced this past week he will not seek re-election and turn his attention to laundering clothes instead of money.

 

Season Of The Glitch

It’s no secret that the performance of the ACA website, healthcare.gov., has been less than spectacular. The words ‘lackluster’ or ‘dismal’ come to mind. But in these modern times of agile software development, where the goal is to just get the product out at deadline and then fix the myriads of problems after release, it shouldn’t come as any surprise at all to anybody familiar with software development. But you’d think the Obama administration would have found some competent developers on what will be his legacy piece of legislation. Nevertheless, the failures associated with healthcare.gov seem to be happening on very fundamental issues. It seems very fishy to us. Could there have been sabotage from…I don’t know…developers with conservative Republican bias? It turns out that the Canadian company, CGI, which contracted to do the website, contributed heavily to Republican coffers. Wow. Can you imagine a bunch of Teabagger patriots working on the site? No wonder it’s not working correctly.

A couple of highly competent Teabagger software developers work feverishly to fix the problems with healthcare.gov.

 

 

GOP’s Pyrrhic Victory

On Wednesday, Congress finally made a deal to fund the government and increase the debt limit, which was clearly a victory for President Obama and the Democrats. Right? Not so fast, America. Shutdown architect and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, declared that the shutdown was a great victory…for the Republicans???!!! Ah yes! The delusion continues…

Teabagger patriot and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, basks in the glow of his recent accomplishments.

The Fog Of Delusion

Republicans Holds America Hostage: Day 15…What?…Wait!…Day 15!!! Are you freaking kidding!!!

Well, the GOP shutdown clusterf*ck continues with no end in sight. According to polls everywhere, the Republicans are becoming less popular than syphilis. But Teabagger Extraordinaire, Ted Cruz, remains not only optimistic, but downright gung-ho. You see, according to the No-class Cruzer’s polls, the Teabagging Republicans are the most popular phenomenon since hula-hoops, transistor radios, crew cuts and slavery. Apparently, the right-wing bubble doesn’t permit 21st century reality to enter and is instead perpetually stuck in the 1950s or 1850s, take your pick. But have no fear America. Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are here to guide us to the Rapture. Or as Bachmann put it, “Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand.” Great! Just in time for Halloween!

Teabagger patriots Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, assure Americans that all is swell in Teabaggerland.

 

 

Bully, Bully!

Republicans Holds America Hostage: Day 5…

Back in May, Senator Harry Reid correctly called Senator Ted Cruz “a schoolyard bully” and what did the smuggest Senator alive do? He copped a “what? little old me?” attitude.  Fast forward to this past week and you’ve got the No-class Cruzer pulling the same old crap stating that the Democrats want to shut the government down despite that fact he gave a 21 hour filibuster indicating that the Republicans would shutdown the government unless Obamacare was defunded.

But the funny thing is that the No-class Cruzer gave the world a hint back during the recent Syria crisis on how to deal with these Teabagging GOP bullies who turn into crybabies whenever they don’t get their way. In response to Syria’s action, Cruz said, “Bullies and tyrants don’t respect weakness.”  Boom! There it is! Hopefully, the Democrats will keep the spine they’ve recently discovered and won’t let the wittle Teabagger babies get their way on their wittle temper tantrum.

Texas Tea Party darling and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives some helpful hints to a furloughed government employee on dealing with bullies.

Snooze Cruz

The talk of this past week is all about Texas junior Senator Ted Cruz’s 21 hour filibuster (or filibluster) to oppose Obamacare. Jon Stewart humorously covered the filibuster fiasco quite nicely on the Daily Show. Ted Cruz is the perfect picture of today’s modern Republican Teabagger: smug, self-satisfied and completely clueless. Look at his pictures on the internet. Have you ever seen a smugger puss in your life?   Even Republicans aren’t fond of this guy. And this former Canadian has Presidential ambitions, too. We here at the Bucket have a solution. Why doesn’t Texas secede from the United States and Ted Cruz can be President of the new Lone Star Republic. It’s win-win for everybody. Texas becomes it’s own country with one of it’s own as it’s God-fearing, conservative leader and America gets rid of one seriously crazy, wack-a-doodle politician and the irritating state that gave us Dubya, Rick Perry and the most annoying slogan of all time, “Don’t Mess With Texas”.

Texas Senator and Tea Party darling, Ted Cruz, impresses some admiring Teabaggers with his compassionate words of wisdom.

Diplomacy Is So Wimpy

President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are making the case for taking limited military action against Syria for allegedly using chemical weapons on it’s own people. We’re not sure more military action in the Middle East is wise at this time but what’s most disturbing is one of the reasons stated by our illustrious Democratic and Republican leaders: that we need to take action because we don’t want to look wimpy. Really? This is an important reason for taking military action in a hotbed of civil unrest? We don’t want to look wimpy???!!!  Right, diplomacy is so wimpy. Gee, don’t forget we want to impress the cheerleaders and cool kids, too. We’ve come to expect this grade school reasoning from Republicans, but come on President Obama and John Kerry! Screw using our tax money on jobs, employment, infrastructure and education IN THIS COUNTRY!!! Let’s get into another Middle Eastern quagmire, because we don’t want to look wimpy. Geez, you can almost see the marionette strings on our leaders as they are being manipulated by the military industrial complex.

President Obama explains the importance of looking tough to avoid the painful wedgies and swirlies which may follow from trying to use wimpy diplomacy.