Satire that shovels it to the public – just like the real media!
How about that government shutdown, eh? We hope the caretakers for the House Republicans are checking the GOP congressmen’s diapers. It’s gotta be stinking to high heaven inside those chambers. If anyone votes for a Republican after this fiasco, they should be taken out behind the woodshed.
Georgia GOP Representative Phil Gingrey whined recently in a meeting about being stuck in Congress making $172k a year, while his staff can go out and get rich as lobbyists. All together now…Aaaaahhhhhhh! Poor wittle Phillie Gingrey!!! He can’t make it on just $172,000 a year! This would normally just be another of the myriads of examples of crybaby Republicans not getting their way, but what makes this even more profoundly disturbing is that these so called ‘compassionate conservatives’ just voted to cut funding for food stamps. So to review from events this past week: House Republicans say we’ve got money to go to war in Syria, but no money to feed our own citizens. Yessirree, that Jesus-like compassion is shining right through.
Arizona Senator John McCain, the man who gave us Sarah Palin, was caught last week playing online poker on his iPhone. What’s the big deal right? Well, it happened to be during a hearing about military intervention in Syria. But the kicker was that, later in the week, he had the audacity to suggest that Obama could be impeached for putting ‘boots on the ground’ in Syria. This from an ex-military man who has supported not only military intervention in Syria, but bombing Iran (to a Beach Boys tune no less) and the clusterf*ck that was the Iraq War. Talk about your mixed messages. Just think if McCain would’ve gotten into office. We might have our military in four, five or six different countries in the Middle East by now. We’re thinking that maybe it’s time for the good Senator to retire to one of his eight or ten or twenty houses that he owns so he can play online poker full time.
President Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry are making the case for taking limited military action against Syria for allegedly using chemical weapons on it’s own people. We’re not sure more military action in the Middle East is wise at this time but what’s most disturbing is one of the reasons stated by our illustrious Democratic and Republican leaders: that we need to take action because we don’t want to look wimpy. Really? This is an important reason for taking military action in a hotbed of civil unrest? We don’t want to look wimpy???!!! Right, diplomacy is so wimpy. Gee, don’t forget we want to impress the cheerleaders and cool kids, too. We’ve come to expect this grade school reasoning from Republicans, but come on President Obama and John Kerry! Screw using our tax money on jobs, employment, infrastructure and education IN THIS COUNTRY!!! Let’s get into another Middle Eastern quagmire, because we don’t want to look wimpy. Geez, you can almost see the marionette strings on our leaders as they are being manipulated by the military industrial complex.
Another one from the “You’ve Got to be Kidding” file. It appears that President Obama’s new idols are the members of the Bush Administration. Recently, it was reported that the Obama Administration’s Department of Justice wants to grant immunity to the Bush Administration for war crimes in Iraq even though the Republicans will no doubt continue to kick the President in the teeth on anything he may want to accomplish. Something is rotten in Washington and in the media (as if we didn’t know already). In the past year, we’ve seen Dubya re-emerge into the public spotlight as an ‘enlightened’ artist, polls that indicate that people are starting to view the Bush presidency favorably, and even that more Republicans in Louisiana are blaming Obama for the sad response to Hurricane Katrina (see previous post), even though it was three and half years before he took office. Not only that, whistleblower Bradley/Chelsea Manning is a criminal for exposing government lies and the Bush Administration is getting a free pass for lying to the public and getting us involved in the clusterf*ck known as the Iraq War. The next thing you know, the Obama Administration will want to go to war with another country in the Middle East because, based on intelligence, they may have weapons of mass destruction. Oh….right….Syria. Didn’t we do this crap already and it ended badly for us? Like a trillion dollars in the hole, bad. Oh well, chalk up another win for the military-industrial complex. War is just good business!
RNC Chairman, Reince Priebus, recently made an announcement that Republicans will ban MSNBC and CNN from the Republican primary debates in 2016 if they don’t drop plans to air projects about Hillary Clinton, who will more than likely run for President in 2016. Yep, once again, the crybabies of the GOP are demanding that everybody does what they want or else. They’re certainly doing what it takes, too, to advertise themselves as inclusive and tolerant of the various demographics which makes the United States such a melting pot. Let’s review some of their triumphs: they want to enforce voter ID in order to suppress the black vote; the only kind of immigration reform they support is building a wall across the Mexican-American border; they think the government should stay out of people’s lives unless you’re a woman, which in that case, allows the government to patrol every woman’s uterus; they’re against gay marriage or really any kind of equal rights for gays, lesbians or transgendered people (just stay in the closet folks); they don’t want healthcare for anybody unless you can afford to pay the astronomical expenses associated with today’s medicine; they want to push christianity down everybody’s throats as the only religion to be allowed in this country; they value the rights of the gun shooter over the rights of the gun victims; they portray any scientist who proclaims that climate change is real to be a fraud. Yes, by all means, let’s keep electing these irrepressible zanies to run our country.
Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.
In keeping with the Congress sucking theme…
Recently, a bill that would have strengthened background checks for gun purchases failed to pass despite passing 55-45, this despite a majority voting for it and 90% of Americans wanting stronger background checks. Republican Senators who voted against the bill proudly stated their obstructionism. Mitch ‘The Turtle’ McConnell even mocked the legislation on his facebook page after the vote. Then of course there is the dishonorable Senator Jeff ‘Two-Face’ Flake (but what a great smile and wow, the hair!) from our not-so-great-lately state of Arizona. He told constituents that he supported background checks and then promptly voted against the bill. Then his teenage son recently got into hot water when he tweeted homophobic and racist tweets on Twitter. That’s would Jesus would do, right? So much for compassionate christian conservatism.
It’s nice to know that our elected officials are keeping their priorities straight, eh?
It appears that our congress has reached a new level of ineptitude. According to recent polls, congressional approval is down to 10% in a Gallup poll and 11% in a recent Rasmussen poll. Of course, this is to be expected since our Congress is made up of jellyfish (Democrats) and crybabies (Republicans). This says a lot about Americans as well. It’s been this way for some time and yet we continually send these same clowns back to Washington instead of sending new faces with fresh ideas from other parties. It’s like a certain segment of our population is comfortable with this clearly dysfunctional representation. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Maybe for the next election, we should try electing new people and new parties in Washington.
At least our bought-off-and-paid-for-corporate-loving congress has agreed on a bipartisan message for all us Americans who aren’t a corporation.
We’ve been on vacation kicking around in Europe. What did we miss? Uh-oh!
We knew Democrats were spineless and Republicans were shameless, but this is ridiculous. Apparently all our democratically elected representatives now think it’s a great idea to spy on each other. Right now, every resident of the former East Germany is laughing their ass off at us and rightfully so. We’ve become that country. What’s next, informal informants for our new Stasi-like surveillance state. Seriously folks, read up on the former country called East Germany and see if we’re now starting to resemble it(except of course we’re a corporatist surveillance state and not a socialist surveillance state). We had so much hope for President Obama and, like Clinton and all Democrats before him, is bending over backwards again to the right to appease the paranoid, right-wing crybabies that populate today’s Republican party (remember, the GOP is the party that started all this crap with the Patriot Act during Dubya’s administration). We’ve started looking for a new country to live in. We’re thinking the former East Germany is looking nice. At least they know enough that legalized spying is a bad idea.
