Tag: corporations

The Whole System Is Out Of Order

Another one from the “You’ve Got to be Kidding” file. It appears that President Obama’s new idols are the members of the Bush Administration. Recently, it was reported that the Obama Administration’s Department of Justice wants to grant immunity to the Bush Administration for war crimes in Iraq even though the Republicans will no doubt continue to kick the President in the teeth on anything he may want to accomplish. Something is rotten in Washington and in the media (as if we didn’t know already). In the past year, we’ve seen Dubya re-emerge into the public spotlight as an ‘enlightened’ artist, polls that indicate that people are starting to view the Bush presidency favorably, and even that more Republicans in Louisiana are blaming Obama for the sad response to Hurricane Katrina (see previous post), even though it was three and half years before he took office. Not only that, whistleblower Bradley/Chelsea Manning is a criminal for exposing government lies and the Bush Administration is getting a free pass for lying to the public and getting us involved in the clusterf*ck known as the Iraq War. The next thing you know, the Obama Administration will want to go to war with another country in the Middle East because, based on intelligence, they may have weapons of mass destruction. Oh….right….Syria. Didn’t we do this crap already and it ended badly for us? Like a trillion dollars in the hole, bad. Oh well, chalk up another win for the military-industrial complex. War is just good business!

President Obama shows his unrequited love for the Bush Administration.

Holding The Nation Hostage

Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, reveals the GOP’s patriotic plan to save America from the horrors of Obamacare.

 

Congress Keeps Priorities

In keeping with the Congress sucking theme…

Recently, a bill that would have strengthened background checks for gun purchases failed to pass despite passing 55-45, this despite a majority voting for it and 90% of Americans wanting stronger background checks. Republican Senators who voted against the bill proudly stated their obstructionism. Mitch ‘The Turtle’ McConnell even mocked the legislation on his facebook page after the vote. Then of course there is the dishonorable Senator Jeff ‘Two-Face’ Flake (but what a great smile and wow, the hair!) from our not-so-great-lately state of Arizona. He told constituents that he supported background checks and then promptly voted against the bill. Then his teenage son recently got into hot water when he tweeted homophobic and racist tweets on Twitter.  That’s would Jesus would do, right? So much for compassionate christian conservatism.

It’s nice to know that our elected officials are keeping their priorities straight, eh?

American gun lovers rejoiced after GOP Senators like Mitch ‘The Turtle’ McConnell and Jeff ‘Two Face’ Flake struck down legislation that would have required universal background checks on all gun purchases.

Taxing the Rich? I Can’t Watch!

The talks to avoid the dreaded ‘fiscal cliff’ continue and yet one big Republican player has been sitting on the sidelines of the debate. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. ‘The Turtle’, has pretty much kept himself out of the discussions. But we have no doubt that in the coming days, the good senator, who famously wanted to make President Obama a one-term president, will show us the typical spirit of bi-partisanship that Republicans have exhibited the past four years and block anything the Democrats put in front of him.

The always cautious but zany Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, plays the waiting game with the looming ‘fiscal cliff’.

 

An Oompa Loompa Christmas

Well, Congress has adjourned for the holidays and surprise surprise, no progress on the looming ‘fiscal cliff’. Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), who seems to be under the illusion that the Republicans won the election, has stubbornly insisted that he gets his way. That means keeping his precious tax cuts for his rich handlers and cutting funds for the social safety net programs like Social Security and Medicare, which benefits most elderly Americans. Of course, most people seem to think this ‘fiscal cliff’ is baloney anyway (note how it’s always referenced in quotations) and to President Obama’s credit, he’s playing hardball with the Republicans (finally!). It’s not the first time that the great Oompa Loompa of negativity, John Boehner, has bungled up negotiations. It’s business as usual for the Republicans.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, offers Americans his prescription for avoiding the ‘fiscal cliff’.

 

 

Save Christmas: Buy! Buy! Buy!

The last couple of posts, we’ve been railing on America’s favorite ‘culture warrior’, Bill O’Reilly, who’s only goal in life is to look out for you. He has been blathering on and on about the ‘War on Christmas’ for the past umpty-nine years about how atheists and secularists are attacking christianity causing America to fail and life as we know it to come to a cataclysmic end. Of course, he fails to mention the deadening effect of the rampant commercialism on christmas.

Companies start having all kinds of xmas sales earlier and earlier with every passing year; pre-Halloween christmas sales, pre-Labor Day christmas sales, pre-St.Swithins christmas sales… you get the picture. Corporate America has killed christmas far more than secularists. And it’s been that way for a long time. We are conditioned from an early age to want and consume. It’s a part of our culture. Who didn’t drool over the toys in Sears or Penney’s christmas catalogs when we were kids?. We are taught to want, want, want from the time we’re old enough to walk. Christmas has become all about shopping. Buy! Buy! Buy! But in Mr. O’Reilly’s view, it’s all the atheists’ fault.

So how should we save Christmas in a way in which Mr. O’Reilly would approve?  The answer is obvious: go out and spend like there is no tomorrow. The world’s going to end anyway on the 21st, right? (Wink, wink)

The only possible way to save Christmas and make Jesus happy is for every American to spend themselves into debilitating debt.

Corporate Douchery

The fallout from Con-a-thon 2012 continues with more Republicans and corporatists whining about the re-election of President Obama. Ranging from Papa John’s CEO stating that he’ll have to raise prices on his pizzas a whopping 14 cents to cover the costs of Obamacare to other captains of industry firing people rather than cut their own obscene salaries. To add insult to injury, huge department store chains have cut their workers hours and salaries and decided to open up their stores on Thanksgiving as well. So rather than do the whole wholesome, conservative family values thing and spend time with your family, spend time in the store fighting other people for unbelievable bargains.

What’s even more astonishing is that people showed up in droves to the stores on Thanksgiving. So now it looks like Black Thursday will replace Black Friday and probably Thanksgiving as the big event in November. And ‘culture warrior’ Bill O’Reilly blames atheists for the ‘War on Christmas’ and not the greedos in corporate America.

Billionaire President and CEO of Juggermart, Lawrence T. Juggers, explains the consequences of voting for President Obama to the faithful consumer automatons who frequent his stores.

The Trump Revolution

We mentioned in a previous post about Donald Trump’s asinine tweets early on election night when Spiff Romney had more popular votes than President Obama. Really? Donald Trump leading a revolution? We think it would go something like this photo-toon.

Megalomaniac Donald Trump vows to do his part in the coming conservative revolution.

It’s Over…For Now

We’re going to wait a few days before we comment about the election (although, in general, we’re thrilled!!!). If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, its that Con-a-thon 2012 has finally and mercifully come to an end: no more robocalls; no more attack ads; no more mailers; no more inane news media pundits offering their insipid two cents worth. That’s a good thing!

What’s really sad though is that according to some reports, these elections could come close to costing $6 billion dollars. $6 Billion Dollars!!!  Thanks Citizens United! Just think of all the good, positive things that could have been done with that money(rebuilding infrastructure, education, energy research), instead of spending it on negative, short term drivel, which benefits no one and exhausts all Americans. Unfortunately, electioneering has become a thriving, full time industry in America. Some news media pundits are already talking about the possible candidates for 2016. To borrow from Bill Maher’s well known catch phrase; New Rule: no talking about the 2016 election until 2016.

With the 2012 elections barely over, media pundits have already started talking about the 2016 elections, much to the chagrin of the American populace.

Corporate Ultimatum: Vote Romney…Or Else

Republican candidate, Spiff Romney, has been getting a lot of help from his plutocrat CEO buddies lately. It seems that several CEO’s and corporate heads are pressuring their employees into voting for Romney or face the consequences, like losing their jobs. You would think that this kind of heavy handed manipulation would be illegal, but apparently it’s not. So there you have it folks; if you want to keep your low paying jobs so you can barely pay your bills, you better vote for the plutocrat. And they say that there’s no class warfare.

GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, shows his gratitude to MegaloCorpBank CEO J. Charles Harrington IV, one of many corporate heads to pressure their employees into voting for Romney...or else.