Wilted Missile: Like Father, Like Son

It was reported this week that North Korea’s test of a long range Taepodong 2 missile into orbit, broke up and fell into the Yellow Sea west of Seoul. This launch was supposed to showcase to the world the technological advancement of North Korea’s military under new leader Kim Jong Un, son of Kim Jong Il. But just like his father’s missile test in 2006, it failed with the world watching. Here’s a photo-toon from our July 7, 2006 issue which shows Kim Jong Il’s reaction to that unsuccessful missile test.

North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Il, sporting his latest wacky hairdo, watches the test launch of North Korea's long range Taepodong 2 missile with his military advisors.

Beer, Guns, and Car Crashes

It looks more and more like Spiff Romney is going to be the GOP nominee. But he polls very badly with southern Republicans and has lost all the southern primaries thus far except for Florida. Well, the Bucket is here to help the ol’ Spiffster. That’s why we’re presenting this selection as our Book o’ the Month by the ‘Sidney Sheldon of the Deep South’, Billy Joe Ray Bob Cooper. Read this book, Spiff Romney, and develop a new Southern strategy based on three key ingredients: beer, guns, and car crashes. Oh and mentioning Jesus a million times sure couldn’t hurt either.

 

Rewind: Sun ‘n Fun in Iraq

It’s time for another trip to yesteryear, back to those bucolic days in the summer of 2004, when Operation Iraqi Freedom a.k.a. the Iraq War, a.k.a the Slam Dunk was foundering into it’s second year, despite assurances from the Bush administration that all was well in the land of sand and oil. Now, thankfully, we’re out of Iraq and the Iraqis are left to administer their country on their own, even though sectarian violence continues and probably will continue until the country breaks out into an inevitable Civil War which has been building for a century. For a dry but informative read on the history of Iraq, pre-War, read Charles Tripp’s History of Iraq and see why we should have never gotten into this misadventure in the first place.

Here’s a photo-toon from our July 4, 2004 issue depicting Dubya’s rose colored glasses view of Iraq.

From President Bush's point of view, the new Iraq is a bright, rosy place chock full of fun and oil.

Fashion Smackdown

We saw an article on Slate that other day that commented that the most fashionable woman on the planet just may be Queen Elizabeth. Well, we couldn’t agree more! Here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue that comes to the same conclusion.

 

The much anticipated fashion smackdown between United States first lady Michelle Obama and French first lady Carla Bruni Sarkozy was spiced up even more with a third entrant, England's Queen Elizabeth.

Austerity Cuisine

Times are definitely tough right now. 99% of us are tightening our belts and trying to do more with less. Even food prices have risen. There are even some Americans who have to decide between paying their bills and eating. That’s why we’re presenting this timely book as our Book o’ the Month by the ‘Julia Child of the Ozarks’, Daisy June Huneycutt. You’ll never go hungry again thanks to this book. FYI, the Flattened Possum with Dandelion Sauce is killer!

Brewer Embarrasses Arizona…Again

You can just about set your watch by it these days: a conservative Republican politician in Arizona acts like an ass on the national and world stage. The long list includes former state senator Russell “I’m not a Nazi” Pearce, sheriff Joe “Just call me God” Arpaio, former congressman J.D. “Rush Jr.” Hayworth, Senator John “I gave the world Sarah Palin” McCain, former Governor Fife “I like cooking food and books” Symington, the king of crazy, former Governor Evan “blacks love being called pickaninnies” Meacham and the Republican slanted state legislature and its infamous “anti-immigration” bill SB 1070. Last week Arizona Governor Jan “Skeletor” Brewer greeted President Obama on the tarmac and had a testy exchange of words over her treatment of him in her new book and ended up wagging her bony forefinger at the President as if he were a school child and not the leader of this country. This from a woman who gave this unforgettably embarassing performance in the 2010 gubernatorial debates. Incredibly and even more embarrassingly, she won the election! Yep, there’s a lot of scary conservatives living here in Arizona. Getting back to the “showdown”, if former governor and current United States Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano would have greeted Dubya that way, Republicans would have been calling for her head on a platter.

At least the Guvnuh’s new book, “Scorpions for Breakfast: My Fight Against Special Interests, Liberal Media, and Cynical Politicos to Secure America’s Border” (yep, My Fight or Mein Kampf in German), got a fantastic boost in sales from her “showdown with Obama”. Or maybe, that’s why she did it in the first place. Hmmmm… Anyway, we here at the Bucket think that the desert heat may have cooked the Guvnuh’s brain liked a baked potato, especially with that tin foil hat she likes to wear.

Arizona Governor Jan "Skeletor" Brewer warns President Obama that he has entered the Kingdom o' Wingnuts and that he had better beware.

Austerity Dentistry

Times are definitely tough right now. 99% of us are tightening our belts and trying to do more with less. What is especially tough is the high cost of health care especially dental care. It is estimated that 40-60 million Americans don’t have dental insurance. That’s why we’re presenting this timely book as our Book o’ the Month. Buy this bestseller and say goodbye to costly dental bills…and chewing your food.

 

God Prefers Patriots To Broncos; Athletes Love Bird Watching

Tim Tebow mania has gripped the sports world. All any sports pundit can talk about these days is how this young, fiery, evangelical christian is taking the football world by storm and leading the Denver Broncos on a football crusade to the promised land of Super Bowl XLVI. There was even a poll on CNN the other day asking people if they thought that Tim Tebow’s meteoric rise is due to God. Apparently, God must prefer Tom Brady and the Patriots to Mr. Tebow because the Broncos got trounced 41-23 today.

We here at the Bucket think the buzz about Tebow is pretty ridiculous anyway. We’re atheists, except for Lamebeard the Pirate, who as a Pastafarian, praises the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  We feel that if God did exist, he probably wouldn’t care that much about who won a mostly violent, sporting event on a small rocky planet in one of millions of galaxies that exist in the universe. We would think an all-powerful God would have much more fun manipulating nuclear fusion to create a star, starting the celestial mechanics of a fledgling solar system or keeping black holes in line from consuming too much matter and energy. But more and more athletes these days point to the skies after they score a touchdown, make a bucket or hit a home run. We would think that these athletes should always be grateful to their God, not just on good plays. So baseball players shouldn’t just point to the sky after a home run, but also after striking out with the bases loaded, popping out in foul territory or grounding out into an inning ending double play. After all, a good baseball hitter fails seventy percent of the time. Also, if God is supposedly all around us, why point just to the sky? Why not point to a blade of grass, the dirt or a wall. Instead, on sports web sites, we get ‘action’ photos of athletes pointing to the sky instead of smacking a baseball or slam dunking a basketball or hauling in a football with an over the shoulder grab. Hmmm…Methinks there might some christians in professional athletics.

Here’s a photo-toon from our June 26, 2007 edition which offers another possible explanation for athletes pointing to the sky.

Baseball players have been pointing to the sky frequently in recent years showing off their obvious love of bird watching.

 

Cop-n-Pepper

Our intrepid staff here at the Bucket has discovered an old photo that shows that Lt. John Pike, the UC-Davis cop who pepper sprayed a group of Occupy Wall Street protestors, comes from a long line of protest busters.

Lt. John Pike's grandfather, Nigel Winston Pike, who served in the British colonial police force in India, is shown reprimanding that notorious street thug, Mahatma Gandhi.

Rewind: See Dubya Read

Who sez Dubya didn’t like to read when he was presidentin’? Although My Pet Goat was probably his favorite, he loved to read other books and here’s proof in a photo-toon from our November 20, 2003 issue.

President Bush takes a break during a cabinet meeting to read Madonna's latest book, Mr. Peabody's Apples.