Tag Archive for beer

Sham And Shame

The week is up on the sham FBI inquiry into Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford and it looks like the boozy, partisan judge will likely be confirmed given the preposterously limited scope of the investigation. There were many people who weren’t even questioned. We’re thinking that agents probably just sat around eating pizza and drinking beer; maybe even playing that popular drinking game The Devil’s Triangle.

There were several witnesses and people who claimed that Brett Kavanaugh lied under oath who were completely ignored by the probe. Why? Because this is a rush to justice by the hypocritical Republicans who can never admit they’re wrong on anything or anybody. They could easily nominate someone else who isn’t such a lightning rod, but no…that would be admitting defeat to a bunch of liberals. Kavanaugh will be a reliable cog in the conservative seizure of power in the nation.

So is this shameful Kavanaugh inquiry what we can expect from the Mueller FBI probe? Will Mueller finally come out and say ‘nothing to see here, folks’, after a year and a half of leading people on that there was malfeasance by Trump during the 2016 election? We’ve just about lost any shred of respect for supposedly venerable institutions of law, order and justice in this country. In America, there is shamefully only justice for the elite, well connected people with money, wealth and influence; namely Republicans in the vein of Brett Kavanaugh. The system is truly broken.

P.S. We recommend going to a chiropractor, Jeff Flake, since you seem to have a colossal problem with your spine. We knew your posturing for the FBI investigation was nothing but political theater. Way to stand up for women, you phony, feckless coward! We look forward to you leaving the Senate next year.

Since the scope of the FBI investigation is limited to pizza and beer by Donald Trump, agents research the drinking game Devil's Triangle.

FBI agents diligently perform research into the more intricate aspects of the Brett Kavanaugh investigation, like eating pizza and drinking beer.

Beer, Guns, and Car Crashes

It looks more and more like Spiff Romney is going to be the GOP nominee. But he polls very badly with southern Republicans and has lost all the southern primaries thus far except for Florida. Well, the Bucket is here to help the ol’ Spiffster. That’s why we’re presenting this selection as our Book o’ the Month by the ‘Sidney Sheldon of the Deep South’, Billy Joe Ray Bob Cooper. Read this book, Spiff Romney, and develop a new Southern strategy based on three key ingredients: beer, guns, and car crashes. Oh and mentioning Jesus a million times sure couldn’t hurt either.