The New Supreme KBJ

There’s been a lot of disturbing events happening in the world lately; the relentless pandemic, the brutal atrocities committed by Russians against the Ukrainians, the lack of progress on prosecuting the Capitol rioters and TFG, and the ongoing stupidity of the radical right-wing Republicans across the land. But one good thing happened this past week. Ketanji Brown Jackson was confirmed as the first African American woman Supreme Court Justice despite obvious racist ratf*ckery from GOP Senators during the confirmation hearings. Probably the most representative of the colossal inanity of the Republican efforts was retiring Senator Roy Blunt’s comments: “I think she’s certainly going to be confirmed. I think it’ll be a high point for the country to see her go on the court and take her unique perspective to the court.” So basically ol’ Roy Boy said she’s a great, qualified, historical candidate but he won’t vote for her. What an asshole! At least three GOPers – Romney, Murkowski and Collins – buried partisanship and voted for her. But then only Romney remained to applaud the new justice. Haters gonna hate!

Congratulations to Justice Jackson! We have no doubt you’ll be a successful jurist. Now we just need to get Asian American and Native American justices on the court.

Congratulations to new Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson!
Congratulations to new Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson!

Ban Alabama

As if we didn’t know their viewpoint already, the right wing, conservative, christian Republicans have officially declared war on women. Twenty five Republican males in that hot bed of compassionate christianity, Alabama, have decided to make abortion illegal, even in cases of rape and incest, thus placing it directly in conflict with the 1973 decision of Roe v. Wade and almost guaranteeing a decision in the Supreme Court where ‘compassionate’ christians of all denominations are hoping über-Catholic Brett Kavanaugh will overturn the abortion law and relegate women officially to second class citizens who are nothing more than baby factories just like they were in the bible, two thousand years ago.

This isn’t the first time the right wing christian zealots have tried it and it won’t be the last. South Dakota tried it in 2006 (we even mocked up a re-issued state quarter for them). Other states like Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Georgia and Missouri have also passed Draconian measures to give precedence to the potential life of a fetus over the life of the mother who is actually alive and breathing air in the current, real world. The fetus is a part of the woman’s body and a living woman should always have control over her own body.

We’ve got a suggestion to all sane logical humans who are sick of these so-called ‘right-to-life’ hypocrites who say life is sacred but turn their heads to gun violence which kills thousands every day. Ban these states (how convenient is it that the Alabama state flag is a big red X). Don’t travel to any of these states. Don’t buy merchandise from any store in these states. Women should leave these states in droves. Let these fine examples of compassionate christianity rot. Conservatives proclaimed that they voted for Trump because he was in your face supposedly ‘telling it like it is’. Well, we’re telling it like it is, too. It’s the 21st century, not the 1st century! It’s time to update your database connections you sanctimonious, knuckle dragging troglodytes! Personally, we’d rather have Puerto Rico as a state than Alabama.

Dear Alabama lawmakers: The rest of the United States would like to ban travel and trade to your state until you start living in the 21st century.
Dear Alabama lawmakers: The rest of the United States would like to ban travel and trade to your state until you start living in the 21st century.

Jenner’s Shocking Revelation


Bruce Jenner recently sat down with ABC’s Diane Sawyer and confirmed to the world what many had already suspected; he is transitioning from being a man to being a women. He calmly and thoughtfully explained that though he is not gay, he has always felt that he was a woman and decided to finally make the transition. But then Jenner dropped the big bombshell; he came out as a….Republican! GASP!!!! EEEEEWWWWW!

We find it kind of funny that Jenner would be a Republican, especially when so many current conservative Republicans are so openly hostile to the trangendered. Of course, we also find it shocking that there are so many Log Cabin Republicans. Why would you support a group of people like the ‘compassionate’ conservative Republicans, who if given the chance, would leave you hanging out to dry with no qualms or regret. Some christian conservative Republicans have even called for openly killing gays. It boggles the imagination. Nevertheless, we’re sure one of the Republican clowns running for President in 2016 will no doubt use Jenner as a tool to get the transgendered vote.

Well, whatever. We here at the Bucket are not big fans of the Kardashian clan, reality shows or any Hollywood celebrities for that matter, so we say this to Bruce Jenner on finding people in the Republican party who will support your decision: Lotsa Luck!

Former Olympian Bruce Jenner, who is also transitioning from male to female, shocked the world recently by proclaiming he was a Republican.
Former Olympian Bruce Jenner, who is also transitioning from male to female, shocked the world recently by proclaiming he was a Republican.

A Douchey Move

We’ve had a changing of the guard here in Arizona during the last election. Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer has handed over the reigns of her wingnut kingdom to former ice cream magnate Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey). Ducey, not to be outdone on the insanity meter by Indiana’s Mike Pence, this past week signed a bill that prohibits women from using the federal health exchange health care program to pay to an abortion. Also they stated erroneously that doctors have the right to tell women that the process is reversible, a claim critics call junk science. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Republicans are making up science to match their narrow ideology. I mean most Republicans believe angels exist, think the Earth is only six thousand years old and Jesus co-existed with the dinosaurs. Coming soon from the Republican Science Labs: the Sun really does revolve around the Earth.

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey's health plan for women who want an abortion is a good old fashioned wire hanger.
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) announces his ‘old fashioned’ health plan for women who may want to terminate a pregnancy.