Tag Archive for election

Vote For Trump, Get The Vaccine

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump had taken yet another page from the banana republic dictator’s instruction manual and is now trying to the sabotage the election in November by hindering the mail-in ballots. Yes, Trump has appointed lackey Louis DeJoy as Postmaster General and he has immediately implemented changes that threaten the counting of mail-in ballots for the upcoming election. Not only that, DeJoy has investments in competitors with the USPS.

In related dictatorship news, Russia had announced that it has a vaccine for COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus, and Russian President Vladimir Putin has even given it to his daughter. Well, what more proof do you need? Of course, despite Putin’s assurances, the rest of the world is not convinced.

Could Trump’s October surprise be that Putin’s vaccine will be available for U.S. citizens but only if you vote for Donald Trump? Considering the Trumpfuckery that had gone on for three and a half years of this clusterf*ck of an administration, we wouldn’t put it past the Republicans at all to try this kind of stunt. If they can blatantly disrupt mail service, they can hold their own citizens hostage while dangling a life saving vaccine in front of their noses. Hey . . . it is what it is in Trumpland or as we call it here at the Bucket, the Holy Corporate Empire.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, proclaims that everyone who votes for him will get the super duper coronavirus vaccine from his pal Vlad Putin while everyone who votes for Joe Biden will get death. Hey, it is what it is.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, proclaims that everyone who votes for him will get the super duper coronavirus vaccine from his pal Vlad Putin while everyone who votes for Joe Biden will get death. Hey, it is what it is.

Beware The Lincoln Project

There has been a lot of buzz this election season, or as we call it around here, Con-a-thon 2020, because of the caustic, acerbic ads produced on a daily basis by a group called the Lincoln Project. This organization is led by a several so-called Never-Trumpers who oppose America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump that include George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt. All these people are Republicans who supposedly are fed up with the current state of the GOP and have decided to make devastating videos that attack the President. These videos have had a disastrous effect on Trump’s poll numbers and could lead to the Republican’s not only losing the White House but also the Senate. Even we’ve posted links to a few ads.

So, what’s bad about that? Getting rid of this slimeball President and his asskissing Republicans is a good thing, right? Keep in mind that all three of the above people in charge of the Lincoln Project are POLITICAL STRATEGISTS. Also keep in mind that they all VOTED FOR TRUMP, which they don’t really mention a whole lot. It was pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that Donald Trump was ill-equipped to be President in 2016. We even joked about it back in 2012 after Mitt Romney lost the election, when Trump bloviated forth and proclaimed he’d start a revolution. Well, apparently Mr. Conway, Mr. Wilson and Mr. Schmidt have less than half a brain.

Consider this about each one, too, and you’ll realize the whole Lincoln Project just doesn’t pass the smell test. Conway is married to Kellyanne Conway, the President’s Prevaricating Puppet who tries lamely to spin every stupid thing Trump says into a fountain of wisdom. How can this man remain married to this woman? What’s more, As staff curmudgeon Chester Einstein put it, “How can I trust someone who’s married to this little lying con artist?” The whole operation is a kabuki theater of bullshit but yet Americans seem to be fascinated and repulsed at the same time.

Steve Schmidt was famously John McCain’s campaign manager and actually thought it was a good idea to have Sarah ‘Ms. U-betcha’ Palin on the ticket. Should anyone trust what this man says ever? Yet, he’s making the rounds on all the talk shows as the face of the Never-Trumpers and the liberals are treating him like royalty because he dares to stand up to the President. He’s definitely saying the right things challenging Trumpty Dumpty. But it took him until 2018 to speak up. Could it be that Schmidt’s the chosen one in this grand ol’ political theater orchestrated by the GOP who’s playing the ‘reasonable guy’? Sorry, folks; we just don’t trust the guy.

Rick Wilson is the one who tried to tie then Democratic Senator Max Cleland, who was a disabled veteran and silver star recipient, to Osama Bin-Laden and Saddam Hussein all in an effort to help Saxby Chambliss win the Senator seat. The mudslinging worked and Chambliss won. He also tweeted in 2012 a picture of a cooler that proudly proclaimed ‘the South shall rise again’. The Tampa native’s slimy fingerprints are all over many of the Lincoln Projects ads.

The people who run the Lincoln Project are doing nothing more than setting things up for the Republican Party, post-Trump. They are laying the groundwork for politics where devastating hate ads, which may or may not be true, will hold sway over vulnerable people who don’t have the capacity for critical thought or investigating stories on their own. Unfortunately, the negative smear campaigns have worked like a charm in the 21st century. In election after election, Republicans bombard the airwaves with them (i.e. Swiftboating against John Kerry) as Democrats try to take the high road which, unfortunately, has rarely worked. We are actually old enough to remember when elections weren’t all attack ads. Now, with the Lincoln Project, dirty politics will become the norm and a whole new generation of ratf*cking Republicans will slither forward and take over spreading hateful misinformation to every gullible Gus and Gerty around.

In summary: if these ‘noble’ Americans of the Lincoln Project were so concerned about Trump, why didn’t they release the ads in 2016. Trump hasn’t changed. He was just as obnoxious back then. Sane, intelligent citizens should relish that these vile rats are attacking the other vile GOP rats but DO NOT be conned into thinking they’re on your side or you’ll be sorry.

Heads up, Democrats: The effective, acerbic, caustic ads against Donald Trump by the Lincoln Project, headed by George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt, will be used against Democrats for the remainder of the 21st century.
Heads up, Democrats: The effective, acerbic, caustic ads against Donald Trump by the Lincoln Project, headed by George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt, will be used against Democrats for the remainder of the 21st century.

GOP Putin On The Ritz

We’ve been appalled by antics of the Trump administration for the last three and a half years and guess what folks. . . the hits keep a comin’. Recently it was learned that Russia had placed bounties on the heads of American soldiers in Afghanistan. This shouldn’t be that surprising considering the United States did pretty much the same thing against the Soviet soldiers with the mujahideen freedom fighters (which included Osama Bin Laden) back during the Soviet Union’s military adventure in Afghanistan back in the 1980s. The U.S. has pretty much overstayed our welcome in the place where empires go to die so the bounties by the Taliban should not be a shock.

But what is disconcerting is that Trump has struggled to speak out against Putin on the matter and won’t even begin to talk about possible sanctions. We all know about Trump’s man crush on the Russian President but by not addressing this obviously disturbing piece of news, he’s adding fuel to the fire that he’s somehow being controlled by Russia’s leader. The Mueller report concluded that Russia interfered in the 2016 election and is already at it in the 2020 election. Not only that, Russia is hacking COVID-19 vaccine data. And yet Trump and the Republican party stays silent on the matter. Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell and the GOP Senate has even blocked any kind of bill for election security. Due to the malfeasance of the Trump administration in handling the coronavirus pandemic, the news of the bounties has already been relegated to the back burner. Even veterans have voiced their concerns, but in typical Trumpian fashion, our CEO/Dictator and petulant man child does nothing.

That’s because the Republican party has clearly become the party for white nationalists and lovers of authoritarianism and fascism, . . . you know . . . Putin-style ‘democracy’. We remember a photo back when Obama was President and he was giving Putin the evil eye, like he was saying, “Cut the bullshit, Vlad!” Pretty badass, right? Of course, the Republicans were rooting for the white guy in the photo because:

  • They’re the ones who are un-American
  • They’re racist as hell
  • They’re THE PROBLEM

Solve the problem on November 3rd and vote out every Republican sycophant from federal level all the way down to state level. When you let a foreign power like Russia have influence over our country, that’s unacceptable, untenable and un-American.

With their strange attraction to Russian President Vladimir Putin, modern day Republicans and supporters of Donald Trump seem to have misplaced their priorities, their common sense and their loyalty to America.
With their strange attraction to Russian President Vladimir Putin, modern day Republicans and supporters of Donald Trump seem to have misplaced their priorities, their common sense and their loyalty to America.

GOP Living In The Twilight Zone

The coronavirus situation is getting worse in the U.S. and America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his sycophantic Republican cronies have resorted to the tried and true GOP method of dealing with problems: deny, distract and gaslight. Remember when Mick Mulvaney tried to convince the public that quid pro quos were good and that people would just have to ‘get over it’? Fun times! Then Donald Trump got impeached. Hey GOP: that went well didn’t it. Arizona’s Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) did the same thing last month and Arizona is now 7th in the nation in number of cases and added more cases per capita than any country on the planet in the past week. So much winning!

So, in typical conservative Republican fashion, they’re sticking to their guns with pathological liar Trump proclaiming to all this past week that Americans will just have to get over it and learn to live with the possibility of getting the virus and . . .yada, yada, yada . . . maybe DIE! And now Trump is bullying the CDC to relax guidelines in order to send our children back to schools this fall in the midst of a pandemic which has killed over 130,000 people already (that’s over 43 9/11s, folks). With this kind of leadership who needs enemies. Oh, that’s right. . . Trump is okay with enemies killing our troops.

The cowardly, obsequious Senate Republicans are in quite a pickle and stand to lose the Executive Branch, House and even the Senate by continuing to prop up Trump. It reminds us of the classic Twilight Zone episode called Its a Good Life, in which a spoiled, petulant little boy (played by Billy Mumy) with extraordinary powers terrorizes everyone in the community and no one stands up to him for fear of being ‘sent to the cornfield’. They just repeat over and over how great he is and that everything he does is ‘real good’, while the terror goes on and on and on. Sound familiar? In 2020, Republicans are living in their own self-manufactured Twilight Zone. Like this video from the Lincoln Project says, may they all suffer the deserved consequences for their fecklessness in letting democracy die in America.

In 2020, with Donald Trump as their dear Leader, the Republicans are living in the Twilight Zone.
In 2020, with Donald Trump as their dear Leader, the Republicans are living in the Twilight Zone.

Racists Pickin’ Cotton?

Lost amidst the recent headlines of America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump ignoring Russia’s bounties on American soldiers in Afghanistan, the ever expanding number of COVID-19 cases in the U.S. and all the other Trumpf*ckery that is transpiring right now, is the apparent debut of the possible new standard bearer for the Republican party in the 2024 presidential election. The polls are so bad for Trump that some Republicans seem to be giving up hope and laying the groundwork for a successor to the authoritarian wing of the GOP. Some are even saying Trump will drop out. We don’t know about that but there’s one person who has stepped forward as the new white hope for Republicans: Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton.

Cotton recently penned a much criticized opinion piece in the New York Times stating that the military must be used to crush any protesters with overwhelming force. Gee, Mr. Cotton. . . does that go for the boneheaded, assault rifle toting, anti-lockdown MÆGAMorons who don’t want to wear a mask because it doesn’t look manly? Of course not! Those guys are white! Now, we’re not saying Cotton is racist but he sure is using the same dog whistles as Trump and other GOP Senators from the South have been using . . . for decades.

In addition to his toxic tome in the Times, he also spouted similar racist logic recently when the House approved statehood for Washington D.C. In Cotton’s dissenting viewpoint: despite that “the District has more residents than both Wyoming and Vermont, he argued that its economy and political leanings disqualified it from full representation. Its citizens, he suggested, were incapable of governing themselves responsibly and, in any case, did not deserve a voice in Congress because they hold jobs he considered illegitimate“. When you consider the fact that the majority of D.C. is African-American and Democrat . . . yeah, that’s some pretty good racism right there. Then Cotton said Wyoming’s “well-rounded working class” was more worthy of statehood. As you already may have surmised, Wyoming is mostly white (around 80%) and very Republican. Yep, we’re thinking the possible new GOP standard bearer Tom Cotton will be a dad gum fine heir to the right-wing, authoritarian, fascist, Nazi and KKK loving, redneck empire, now called the Republican party.

Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.
Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.

Mister Fitness

Things are not going well lately for America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. His coronavirus response has been anemic as COVID-19 cases continues to escalate across the United States and the death toll mounts. His ‘comeback rally’ in Tulsa was a complete and total disaster. His poll numbers are tanking and Joe Biden has opened up a sizable lead, although we know better (see the 2016 presidential elections) than to completely trust polls especially four months before election day.

But probably the funniest thing that’s happened is the problems our fearless Leader has had with basic human motor functions. Much mockery has been made of Trump’s exit down a ramp from a West Point speech that made him appear “like a baby deer on a frozen pond”. During that same West Point speech, our orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist drank a glass of water like a toddler using his sippy cup. Normally, we wouldn’t mock elderly people who are having trouble. However, Trump has derided and mocked others every day of his clusterf*ck of a presidency while simultaneously bragging what a perfect human specimen he is. He has become so unhinged that he spent several minutes regaling the crowd of his domination of the water glass and his ramp descent like he had just single-handedly wrestled a hippo into submission in the Congo. He even drank a glass of water with one hand, to hoots and hollers from the small crowd. So, this is what it’s come to, folks; Trump supporters are cheering for and worshiping a man because he can drink a glass of water . . . with one hand. Yikes!!!

Yes, Donald Trump is Mister Fitness, America. We have no doubt that soon he’ll be boasting about running a mile under four . . . HOURS.

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.

Trump’s Tulsa Turdfest

How ’bout that rally in Tulsa? Talk about your turdfest! Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump really laid an egg Saturday night at his Nuremberg rally for his MÆGAMoron followers. The Tulsa fire department listed the attendance at 6,200, which is about 1/3 the 19,000 seat capacity for the BOK Center. Compare the actual turnout with the millions of ticket requests boasted by the Trump campaign and you can quickly surmise what a complete and total clusterf*ck this was.

What caused this hilarious debacle for the orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist? Tik-Tok users and K-pop fans are taking credit for the reduced crowd by claiming they submitted fake requests. Also contributing, the unrelenting march of COVID-19 with massive coronavirus spikes throughout the Sun Belt. Trump did himself no favors by requiring attendees to sign a liability waiver form absolving Trump of any responsibility if they get sick. Indeed, several Trump staffers tested positive for COVID-19 before and after the rally. Oooops!

Any way you slice it, Trump’s Tulsa rally was an unmitigated disaster. Or as this article puts it, Trump wanted mayhem but got meh instead. Excuse us if we have nothing but Schadenfreude about this fiasco. Could it be that the end of the Trump authoritarian regime is nigh? Only four more months to find out.

The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader's presence with overwhelming electric energy.
The overflow crowd at Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s massive rally in Tulsa responds to dear Leader’s presence with overwhelming electric energy.

Going Rogue!

Continuing with our ‘something completely different – get me the hell out of the nightmare year that is 2020’ photo-toon retrospective. . .

Remember when the craziest thing about the Republican party was Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin? Fun times! The Queen of Wasilla certainly made quite a ruckus when she published her book Going Rogue. Oh right. . . late Senator John McCain also chose her as his Vice Presidential candidate in 2008, which resulted in the rise of the Teabaggers in 2010. Ooops!!! Yeah, we never forgave McCain for that one.

Here’s a photo-toon from our October 28, 2008 issue featuring a certain beloved cartoon character moose who has fallen victim to a certain rogue hunter.

The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.
The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.

Like Father, Like Son

Straight out of the Oh, Da Irony file, comes this tidbit and just in time for April Fools Day. It seems crusty ol’ contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul has emerged from the his old prospector’s pit to give his two cents worth about the coronavirus and, surprise surprise, he’s agin’ it. We roundly mocked Paul during Con-a-thon 2012 and rightfully so. His views are and have always been all over the place.

Cue the entrance of his son, Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, who also was taking the coronavirus pandemic very lightly until, drum roll please, he tested positive for coronavirus even though he’s asymptomatic. But that didn’t stop ol’ Randy boy, no sir. After he got tested, he made the rounds at the gym and pool among other places before he got the results, thus possibly infecting many other individuals.

What makes this father and son pair’s actions even more astounding is that they’re both physicians. They should know better! Well, we think we know why they turned to politics. If they were still practicing medicine, their patients would probably be dead.

Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon, Ron Paul, reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.
Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.

Coronavirusing The Election

The coronavirus pandemic has brought out the strangeness of humanity. On one hand you have the Italian people singing from balconies in a touching effort to stay connected with each other. On the other hand, for some strange reason, people are hoarding toilet paper and acting like this is the apocalypse, which has now caused problems with the sewers in California with people using alternatives. The stock market has lost just about all its gains from the Trump era. Not only that, Republicans are somehow embracing socialism, proposing sending every American one thousand dollars to deal with the crisis.

While Covid-19 has wreaked havoc on the world, Vladimir Putin has pulled strings in Russia so that he will remain President until 2036. Hell, let’s just call this what it is: President-for-life(a.k.a.dictator) . . . and quite possibly even after his death (we’re sure he’ll find a way). This is hardly the actions of a healthy democracy now is it. Speaking of healthy, Russia seems to avoiding coronavirus surprisingly well. Hmmmmmm….

Yet we have no doubt that America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump is green with envy about his man crush Putin. Trumpty Dumpty has hinted on more than one occasion about how being ‘president for life’ would be a wonderful thing for America. The Republicans have been working feverishly to enact voter suppression laws across America. Last week we saw that fear of coronavirus kept some people away from primaries and many states are even postponing their presidential primary elections. Reports have indicated that Covid-19 may come in waves so that we will have to be on guard until next year. Could it be that Trump, in an effort to keep power, cancels the 2020 election due to a serious coronavirus wave outbreak? If it sounds evil and vile, then you can bet Republicans are probably going to do it. The Republican-led Senate just gave Trump a free pass on impeachment despite him being guilty as hell, thus suspending rule of law, checks and balances and democracy. So, Trump can do whatever he wants. Republicans under Bush tried to create a perpetual war with its war on terrorism after 9/11. Now with many waves of coronavirus possible and the American public panicking like never before, Republicans will absolutely politicize the hell of it because if there’s one thing the GOP knows how to do, it’s fearmonger.

Keep the sheeple scared and keep ’em away from the polls! Yep, Trump’s definitely angling to join the President for Life club with his pal Vlad and his Republican sycophants are no doubt going to do their damnedest to try and make it happen.

Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America's Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals that he'll just cancel the 2020 election so that he will be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Upon seeing how scared the American sheeple have become due to the coronavirus, America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump reveals a plan that will enable him to be President for life and beyond, just like his hero and man crush Russian President Vladimir Putin.