Tag: Trump

Feckless Frauds

Well folks, the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 drags on and it looks like the Republicans are choosing fascism over democracy, as Donald Trump racks up the delegates and the violent thugs. The con that is being pulled on the public not only by the Republican party but the complicit corporate media is mind boggling. The media is reporting that the Republicans are pulling out all the stops trying to stop the orange monster. Even 2012 GOP nominee, Mtt ‘Spiff’ Romney spoke out against the Donald, calling him a fraud. Yes, the Republicans are so concerned that Trump will be the nominee and in typical Republican fashion are blaming President Obama for the rise of Trump. That’s right; in the narrow conservative Republican’s viewpoint, it’s never the fault of a Republican.

But the thing is that while the ‘establishment’ and the remaining GOP candidates are attacking Trump, they’re also saying that they’ll support him if he becomes the GOP nominee. So the attacks on Trump being performed by Rubio, Kasich and Cruz are nothing but absolute, meaningless bullshit. Because no matter what they say, these feckless frauds are going to support this authoritarian megalomaniac for President anyway; just like everyone in the GOP ‘establishment’. Like P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Despite GOP candidates Cruz, Kasich and Marcobot 2016 attacking Donald Trump, they will fecklessly support him if he gets the Republican nomination.
Discerning GOP candidates Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, boldly criticize frontrunner Donald Trump as an orange monster but will courageously support him if he gets the Republican nomination.

GOP: It’s All About The Size Of The Hand…And The Penis

The GOP hit a new all-time low last week; and that’s saying something because they’ve been nothing but abysmal ever since the travesty that is Con-a-thon 2016 started last summer (Geez has it been that long already!). Yes, middle school students running for student body president are officially more mature than the grown-up Republicans running for President. It started when Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, intimated that frontrunner, megalomaniac Donald Trump, might be less of a man because he had small hands. Well Trump, being a manly man, wasn’t going to let that comment slide and suggested in the next Republican debate that he was all that and more. Really???!!!! The Republicans are comparing dick sizes????!!!! IN A  PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE????!!!!! No folks, this isn’t an episode of the Jerry Springer show or a bunch of drunks in a local tavern. These are supposedly legitimate adults who want to run this country, the most powerful in the world,…and they’re talking about the size of their penises.

We’re wondering what the last great Republican President, Dwight D. Eisenhower, would have said about today’s pathetic GOP.

GOP frontrunner, Donald Trump, assures the ghost of Ike that despite having small hands, his penis is huge.
The ghost of the last great Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, warns Americans of the two greatest dangers to their liberty: an unchecked military-industrial complex and a man with a small penis.

GOP & KKK’s White Knight

Super Tuesday has come and gone and the Trump Express keeps rolling on, much to the chagrin of every sane, responsible American. Trump won seven states in Tuesday’s primaries and is positioned strongly to get the Republican nomination in the colossal clusterf*ck that is Con-a-thon 2016.

Endorsements keep coming in as well for the Donald. Among the endorsements this past week, was one from former Louisiana Representative David Duke, who also used to be a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. In an interview on CNN, Trump passed up a chance to disavow Duke, saying that he didn’t know Duke. The thing is that Trump does know who is Duke is and he manipulated the media in typical Trump (and conservative) fashion – deny, blame others and blow his own horn.

In the joke that was Con-a-thon 2012, we posted an article about a possible brokered convention where a ‘white knight’ candidate would come rushing in to save the GOP.  Well, that ‘white knight’ is here in Con-a-thon 2016 for the Republicans and the KKK alike and his name is Donald Trump. Don’t let the media reports fool you; if Trump keeps winning and shows that he’s “the people’s choice”, then you better believe that the so-called ‘establishment’ will endorse him. Power is power and the moneyed elite will love having one of their own at the controls in Washington. Face it; Donald Trump is the face of the modern Republican party. Welcome to Hell, America!

Master of the Con, Donald Trump masterfully denies knowledge of the KKK while inviting them to his penthouse.
GOP frontrunner and Master of the Con, Donald Trump, deftly deflects knowledge of the Ku Klux Klan while simultaneously keeping open lines of communication with the white supremacist group.

Christie Sucks Up To Trump

Former GOP presidential candidate and Jersey boss, Chris Christie, did an about face this past weekend and endorsed Donald Trump, fueling speculation on why a so called ‘establishment’ candidate would endorse someone who eviscerated him so thoroughly during the debates. Just another wacky turn of events in the masquerade of democracy called Con-a-thon 2016.

Our favorite tidbit from this though is the supposed humiliation Christie received from Trump during a Tennessee rally, when a hot mic caught Donald Trump telling Christie to ‘Go Home‘. It’s mostly taken way out of context, but it’s still funny. But that’s what life will be like in America if Trump is elected President. Unless you give him your undivided, sycophantic support, he will trash you to no end. And then he’ll trash you for giving in to him; a no win situation…kinda like being in the mob.

Jersey boss Chris Christie hints around about a Vice Presidential appointment, while Donald Trump shoos him away from his spotlight.
GOP frontrunner Donald Trump shows his gracious appreciation to Jersey boss, Chris Christie, for his sycophantic endorsement.

Jeb? No!!!!!!!!

Well the South Carolina primaries were this past weekend and there was another expulsion from the Republican clown car in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. Despite getting help from his brother Dubya, George W. Bush, (or maybe because of it), Jeb Bush bowed out of the presidential race. His campaign was hemorrhaging money and he needed a spectacular finish to stay in the race. Unfortunately for Jeb and the Bush clan, he didn’t get it.

Thus, that means that the so called ‘establishment Republicans’ will have to get behind Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, or Ohio governor, John Kasich, who somehow is still in the race. What’s so funny here is the con that Donald Trump is not an ‘establishment Republican’. He represents everything the Republican stands for: greed, business and industry above all others, authoritarianism, christianity only, white Americans only. He is the epitome of the Holy Corporate Empire or the Corporate States of America that the Republican party would like the United State to become for all eternity. At the beginning of this stupid campaign season, we thought for sure Jeb Bush or another mainstreamer like Scott Walker would prevail and that Donald Trump was nothing more than a red herring; someone so insipid that he made the rest of the candidates look responsible by comparison. Apparently the Teabagger wing has taken over the Republican party totally and completely. The GOP is officially and blatantly bat shit insane.

Jeb Bush bows out of the Republican presidential campaing with help from his brother Dubya.
It appears that Jeb Bush will have time now to help his brother George W. Bush paint pictures in the bathtub.

 

The Ice Queen Goeth

The New Hampshire primaries were this past week and Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump were the big winners on the Democratic and Republican sides respectively. Of course, it also meant that the Republican clown car just got roomier in the continuing sham that is Con-a-thon 2016.

Carly ‘Ice Queen’ Fiorina,  New Jersey boss Chris Christie and some guy named Jim Gilmore decided to suspend their presidential campaigns this week. It was expected that Fiorina would go soon since she wasn’t even invited to participate in the last Republican debate. Her numbers have dropped since her support of a fraudulent video against Planned Parenthood last year. Chris Christie didn’t receive an expected bounce from his thrashing of Marco Rubio in last week’s debate, so he went back to Jersey. And as far as Jim Gilmore goes, he never really had a chance. He wasn’t even in our original photo-toon of the the Republican clown car (see above link). He’s continually polled at 0% so he finally smelled the coffee and said goodbye.

Who’ll be the next to go? We think the eternally sleepwalking Ben Carson will be the next outcast from the clown car since he doesn’t even know when to come on stage (Donald Trump didn’t either for that matter). Stay tuned folks! The six remaining Republican clowns are sure to provide more comedy in the coming weeks.

The latest outcasts from the Republican clown car include Ice Queen Carly Fiorina, Jersey boss Chris Christie and some guy named Jim Gilmore.
The latest outcasts from the Republican clown car include Ice Queen Carly Fiorina, Jersey boss Chris Christie and some guy named Jim Gilmore.

Marcobot 2016 Malfunctions

The big buzz this past weekend is the malfunctioning of Marco Rubio, a.k.a Marcobot 2016, during the latest Republican debate in the fiasco which is Con-a-thon 2016. We’ll just give you a link so you can view the carnage for yourself.

Of course the guy who skewered Rubio, Chris Christie, is not without his bouts of repetition as he belittled Rubio as the ‘boy in the bubble’ repeatedly. Stephen Colbert did a nice job pointing this out as well (at @the 4:00 minute mark). Yes folks; Con-a-thon 2016 is comic gold.

Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016 has a terminal malfunction while Jersey boss, Chris Christie, reminds everybody that Rubio is the boy in the bubble.
Both GOP candidates, Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, and Jersey boss, Chris Christie, have a fondness for repetition.

Republicans Receive Iowa Participation Trophies; They’re All ‘Winners’

Well, the Iowa Caucus BS is mercifully over and as predicted, the Republican Clown Car has gotten a lot roomier in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016.

On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton finished in a virtual tie and nice guy, Martin O’Malley, wisely decided to end his campaign and devote his time to playing more guitar and doing ab crunches. We’re wondering if Sanders’ strong performance might mean that the ‘liberal’ media might actually start covering his campaign.

On the GOP side, the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, pulled a surprise and upset frontrunner Donald Trump, mostly by huckstering  the evangelical christian vote. The funny thing about the Republican results is that despite not winning, Donald Trump and third place finisher, Marco Rubio, proudly declared that they were winners, too. Of course, all the egotistical Republicans think they’re winners, even Rand Paul, Mike *uckabee, and Rick Santorum, who all suspended their campaigns due to a complete lack of interest from voters. Then there’s Jeb Bush who finished a distant sixth. But then again, Jeb Bush said several weeks ago, they he prefers being in the back of the pack. Yep, there’s nothing like leading from behind. If he’s not careful he’ll be conducting his campaign from his couch.

It’s interesting to note that *uckabee won Iowa in 2008 and Santorum won in 2012 and of course they went on to…lose badly. Hmmm…we’re hoping that this trend continues in 2016 and Cruz plummets before too long.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses GOP candidates, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they're winners.
Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses, GOP candidates and extraordinary con artists, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they’re winners.

Trump’s Trumpeters

The first election of the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 is coming up this Monday and everyone is getting in some late minute BS slinging before Iowans go to the polls in the Iowa Caucuses. Donald Trump made quite a ruckus (what else is new!) this past week by bypassing the Fox News Republican debate this past Thursday because Donald Trump doesn’t like Megyn Kelly. Geez! For a tough guy, Trump sure is acting like a baby. But again, what else is new for this megalomaniac who recently bragged that he could shoot people in the middle of New York and still not lose voters.  While this statement shows how dangerously psychotic Trump is, it says more about how insane Trump’s supporters are because he’s actually right. Donald Trump could murder innocent people and his demented supporters would still vote for him.

Speaking of people supporting Trump, he’s got quite an eclectic list of celebrity endorsements heading into Iowa. Rolling Stone has another list. If you look at the lists, there are a lot of authoritarian, tough guy, manly men like Arizona’s own Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio, Hulk Hogan, Mike Tyson and Russian President Vladimir Putin who said of Trump “he’s a bright and talented person”. We guess it takes a tyrant to know a tyrant. We’re sure that Putin and Trump could team up and subjugate the hell out of the rest of the world just like Stalin and Hitler did. Of course, all of these aggressive egotists would rather fight and kill than use something peaceful like diplomacy.

On the female side, there’s Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, who gave the strangest endorsement speech of all time (we like Stephen Colbert’s mockery of it). Conservative harpie and living skeleton Ann Coulter, anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly and empty headed reality star Tila Tequila all are Trumpeters on Trump’s solid gold bandwagon.

But probably the strangest endorsement was by John Wayne. Although the Duke has been dead since 1979 , his daughter Aissa said that if John Wayne were alive today, he would endorse the Donald. You see Donald Trump’s 19th century mindset sits perfectly with the cowboy image embodied by the Duke. So to make America great again, we just have to make everything like it was back in the days of the Wild West (everybody’s got a gun; shoot first, ask questions later; tough, tough, tough; kill, kill, kill, etc…). We think Donald Trump’s motto should be, “We’re Going Back To The Future”.

Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, the ghost of John Wayne and Donald Trump all think that Donald Trump is great.
Megalomaniac GOP candidate Donald Trump modestly acknowledges his ‘greatness’ to his adoring fans like Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and the ghost of John Wayne.

Out-Trumped

And then there were…still way too many.

As our last post of 2015, we’re giving an update of the travesty of democracy that is Con-a-thon 2016 (only 10 and a half more months of this shit).

Lindsey Graham and George Pataki are the latest ejections from the Republican clown car. South Carolina Republican Senator Graham suspended his campaign before Christmas and former New York governor Pataki ended his yesterday. Both were polling in the microscopic region. Of course, with blowhard Donald Trump bloviating  hot air and hatred 24/7, it’s not hard to figure out why nobody noticed them. We here at the Bucket would like to say we’ll miss these two, but we can’t…we just can’t. (Sweet Jesus, have we mentioned we still have 10 and a half more months of this shit!)

Nobody notices Lindsey Graham and George Pataki as Donald Trump bloviates hot air 24/7.
Lindsey Graham and George Pataki contemplate how people failed to notice their lackluster campaigns and uninspired messages of maintaining the status quo, while frontrunner, Donald Trump, bloviates something outrageous to the masses.