Category: Compassionate CONservatives

RNC 2004: The Big Endorsement

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

In America, the Republican Party has become the party of God and Jesus. Well, we shouldn’t be surprised because Jesus was all about supporting the rich while despising the poor. We’re sure if Jesus came back today he’d be wearing a well tailored Armani suit, driving a BMW and/or a pickup, be a member of an exclusive country club, eating caviar, drinking the finest wines and carrying a loaded gun in case any poor person would think of threatening him. And as for healthcare, he’d say, “If you can’t afford it, well that’s your fault for being poor. Why should I help you?” That’s life in a christian nation. We’re also sure that it was Jesus who steered Tropical Storm Issac away from a direct hit on Tampa and instead directed it toward other red states like Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi, which have many poor people,  because, you know…he loves Republicans so much.

President Bush pulls some strings with the Big Guy and gets Jesus to appear to endorse his candidacy.

RNC 2004: Turning The Corner

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Remember when ol’ Dubya yanked our chain by always saying “We’re turning the corner on…<fill in the blank>”. Whether it was the deficit, the war in Iraq, economic recovery, cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina, coming out of the housing market collapse, etc… We were always turning the corner. America turned the corner so many times we kept going in circles in a downward spiral for the next four years.

President Bush and his wife Laura point toward the corner America is turning. Appearing on stage with Bush are his old friends, the Deficit, the Iraq Occupation, and Environmental Destruction.

RNC 2004: Like Father, Like Daughters

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

We can honestly say the Bush twins were the highlight of the convention. That speaks volumes.

The Bush twins, Barbara and Jenna, demonstrate that they are truly their father's daughters.

 

RNC 2004: Uncle Dick’s Message

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Only one thing to say here…What a Dick!

Vice President Dick Cheney emerged from his underground lair with a special message for John Kerry.

RNC 2004: Zellzapoppin

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Remember when then Democrat, Zell Miller, made headlines by attending the Republican Convention and then exciting the crowd by saying if John Kerry had his way, he’d outfit the army with spitwads.  Fun times!  And then remember his meltdown when Chris Matthews called him on it. Hilarious! What’s even funnier is that the Republican sheeple actually believed Miller and voted to put Dubya back into office for four more  years of mind-numbing incompetence. And what has Zell Miller been doing since he’s left office. Well, he supported Newt Gingrich’s candidacy in Con-a-thon 2012 and is a contributor on the Republican Propaganda Network a.k.a Fox News. Nuff’ said.

Senator Zell Miller enthralls the crowd with his impersonation of a raving lunatic.

RNC 2004: The Governator

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

In 2004, the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was the darling of the Republican party. He had just become the Republican governor of the very blue state of California. There were even some GOP henchmen, who were working to change the Constitution so that foreign born people like Arnold could become President. But alas, the Governator veered to the left during his terms in office, actually working with Democrats and supporting environmental legislation. This, of course, meant he fell out of favor with the corporate loving, environmental hating right wing. Now he’s out of office, divorced from Maria Shriver, and back to performing in bad action movie revivals (The Expendables franchise). But don’t worry folks…wait for it… he’ll be back! (Come on…you didn’t think we could resist putting in a lame catch phrase reference, do you?)

Always the pitchman, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hawks some of his lamer movies to the pliant crowd.

 

RNC 2004: The Flock Follows Their Shepherds

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Here are some Texas Republican sheeple hanging out at the 2004 convention exchanging ideas on how they can be more obedient to Dubya, their christian shepherds and the corporate establishment.

Bush supporters from Texas mull around waiting for orders on what to think and do.

RNC 2004: Remembering The Fun

We’ve just had two weeks of the Olympics. Can we stand anymore excitement? In less than two weeks time, we’ll all be blessed with the thrill of the 2012 edition of the Republican National Convention starring Spiff Romney and that Ayn Rand lovin’ fool, Paul Ryan. To prepare for this earth shattering event, we plan to do a little retrospective. We will present some unforgettable photo-toon highlights from the 2004 Republican National Convention. Who could forget when Arnold Schwarzenegger, Zell Miller and even Jesus showed up to cheer for the GOP.

Let’s start out with that ol’ maverick, Senator John McCain. At least he used to be a ‘maverick’ back in the ’80s. Actually, he was ‘maverick’ only to other Republicans, because he actually would…you probably won’t believe this… compromise  and converse with Democrats. It’s astonishing to believe but back before the 90’s, Republicans were somewhat civilized.

And of course, the ‘maverick’ is responsible for giving the world Sarah Palin. That should have been a clue that maybe he was losing it. Seriously, does anybody listen to what Senator McCain has to say anymore?  He said a few days ago, that Obama should replace Biden with Hillary Clinton. Really? That’s the best barb McCain can come up with to get under the Democrat’s skin? He should just retire to one of his eight houses and count all his money.  Here’s his big moment during the 2004 RNC when he cemented his 2008 presidential candidacy.

Senator John McCain sheds his 'maverick' label and tags himself with the new moniker of 'partisan tool'.

The Ryan Hypocrisy

In the words of Ricky Ricardo, Paul Ryan has some “‘splaining to do”. It seems that Spiff Romney’s new GOP Vice Presidential candidate has some conflicting beliefs that need some clarification. On the one hand, he’s supposedly a staunch Catholic, which means he’s a follower of Jesus, who preached to share and care for your fellow human beings. On the other hand, he’s a staunch fan of Ayn Rand (an avowed atheist), who preached that one should be selfish and be concerned only for yourself and that caring for others is weak and undesirable. These two philosophies seem to be contradictory.  It seems to us that Mr. Ryan and those other conservative christian Republicans, who tout the prosperity gospel while at the same time want to deny basic healthcare to some people in our country, may be hypocrites. Make no mistake: if Romney and Ryan get in, senior entitlements like Medicare and Social Security are gone, while corporate entitlements will be handed out like candy at Halloween. I wonder what Jesus would say, because we all know how much of a capitalist he was.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, has nothing but praise for GOP Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan and his Randian philosophy.

The Corporate Lackey

Spiff Romney made it official Saturday as he selected Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan to be his vice presidential running mate in the cruel joke that is…Con-a-thon 2012. Media pundits on both side of the aisles are ‘energized’ by the picks, which means that there’s going to be plenty of BS thrown around for the final three months of this election, that just won’t seem to end. The pick pretty much proves that the ol’ Spiffer doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the middle class or moderates and if he and Mr. ‘Starve the Guvment, Feed the Rich’ Ryan get into office, we can look forward to reliving those glorious years of the Middle Ages when feudalism held sway over humans everywhere. Remember… your corporate overlords know way more than you do. So just shut up and let them run the country.

America's corporate, elite, plutocrats approve the selection of jug eared, ultra conservative, Paul Ryan, as Spiff Romney's Vice Presidential GOP running mate.
America’s corporate, elite, plutocrats approve the selection of ultra conservative, Paul Ryan, as Spiff Romney’s Vice Presidential GOP running mate.