Satire that shovels it to the public – just like the real media!
A simple post today…evangelical and Teabagger darling, Dr. Ben Carson, suspended his presidential campaign last week, in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016, to pursue his true passion…napping. Pleasant dreams, Dr. Carson. It was very interesting to …. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Super Tuesday has come and gone and the Trump Express keeps rolling on, much to the chagrin of every sane, responsible American. Trump won seven states in Tuesday’s primaries and is positioned strongly to get the Republican nomination in the colossal clusterf*ck that is Con-a-thon 2016.
Endorsements keep coming in as well for the Donald. Among the endorsements this past week, was one from former Louisiana Representative David Duke, who also used to be a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. In an interview on CNN, Trump passed up a chance to disavow Duke, saying that he didn’t know Duke. The thing is that Trump does know who is Duke is and he manipulated the media in typical Trump (and conservative) fashion – deny, blame others and blow his own horn.
In the joke that was Con-a-thon 2012, we posted an article about a possible brokered convention where a ‘white knight’ candidate would come rushing in to save the GOP. Well, that ‘white knight’ is here in Con-a-thon 2016 for the Republicans and the KKK alike and his name is Donald Trump. Don’t let the media reports fool you; if Trump keeps winning and shows that he’s “the people’s choice”, then you better believe that the so-called ‘establishment’ will endorse him. Power is power and the moneyed elite will love having one of their own at the controls in Washington. Face it; Donald Trump is the face of the modern Republican party. Welcome to Hell, America!
Former GOP presidential candidate and Jersey boss, Chris Christie, did an about face this past weekend and endorsed Donald Trump, fueling speculation on why a so called ‘establishment’ candidate would endorse someone who eviscerated him so thoroughly during the debates. Just another wacky turn of events in the masquerade of democracy called Con-a-thon 2016.
Our favorite tidbit from this though is the supposed humiliation Christie received from Trump during a Tennessee rally, when a hot mic caught Donald Trump telling Christie to ‘Go Home‘. It’s mostly taken way out of context, but it’s still funny. But that’s what life will be like in America if Trump is elected President. Unless you give him your undivided, sycophantic support, he will trash you to no end. And then he’ll trash you for giving in to him; a no win situation…kinda like being in the mob.
Well the South Carolina primaries were this past weekend and there was another expulsion from the Republican clown car in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. Despite getting help from his brother Dubya, George W. Bush, (or maybe because of it), Jeb Bush bowed out of the presidential race. His campaign was hemorrhaging money and he needed a spectacular finish to stay in the race. Unfortunately for Jeb and the Bush clan, he didn’t get it.
Thus, that means that the so called ‘establishment Republicans’ will have to get behind Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, or Ohio governor, John Kasich, who somehow is still in the race. What’s so funny here is the con that Donald Trump is not an ‘establishment Republican’. He represents everything the Republican stands for: greed, business and industry above all others, authoritarianism, christianity only, white Americans only. He is the epitome of the Holy Corporate Empire or the Corporate States of America that the Republican party would like the United State to become for all eternity. At the beginning of this stupid campaign season, we thought for sure Jeb Bush or another mainstreamer like Scott Walker would prevail and that Donald Trump was nothing more than a red herring; someone so insipid that he made the rest of the candidates look responsible by comparison. Apparently the Teabagger wing has taken over the Republican party totally and completely. The GOP is officially and blatantly bat shit insane.
The big news this past weekend was that Supreme Court justice, Antonin Scalia, died while on vacation in West Texas. We know it’s bad taste to speak ill of the dead, but Scalia was one of the worst justices ever. The Citizens United vs the FEC and the McCutcheon vs the FEC decisions, which pretty much legitimized the United States as a corporate oligarchy, were two of the worst in the past 100 years and it was because of Scalia and his four conservative activist cohorts on the bench. The news of Scalia’s death was barely even announced over the wires and the Republican crybabies were already whining, crying and politicizing the event. Even the clowns at the Republican Con-a-thon 2016 debate made an issue about it Saturday night.
And why were they crying? Because that’s what modern conservative Republicans do? Well…yes… but also because thanks to a little thing called the Constitution, President Obama gets to select the next Supreme Court Justice, who will most likely lean to the left, thus disrupting the conservative’s hold on the Supreme Court ever since good ol’ Dubya appointed Roberts and Alito to the bench during his term as President. This has upset conservative Republicans so much, that some are suggesting foul play in Scalia’s death, even though the cause was listed as a heart attack from natural causes.
The Senate Republicans have all claimed that the next President should appoint the Supreme Court justice, which will politicize the upcoming election, which may work to the conservative Republican’s advantage. They have also vowed to obstruct any selection Obama makes which may work against the Republicans in the election.
There is precedence here. In 1988, which was an election year, President St. Ronald Reagan appointed Anthony Kennedy to the bench and called for “prompt hearings conducted in the spirit of cooperation and bipartisanship.”
There’s also the U.S. Constitution which states quite clearly in Article 2, Section 2, Clause 2:
“He[the President] shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.”
Since Barack Obama’s second term as President doesn’t end until January 20th 2017, that means he’s still President and he “shall appoint Judges of the Supreme Court”. NOW!!!! Even former justice Sandra Day O’Connor has spoken up and said that the Senate needs to put on their big boy pants and do this. It’s interesting that Republicans like Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell, who claim to worship the Constitution, conveniently ignore it when it appears they’ll not get what they want…like the goddamn little crybabies they are.
The New Hampshire primaries were this past week and Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump were the big winners on the Democratic and Republican sides respectively. Of course, it also meant that the Republican clown car just got roomier in the continuing sham that is Con-a-thon 2016.
Carly ‘Ice Queen’ Fiorina, New Jersey boss Chris Christie and some guy named Jim Gilmore decided to suspend their presidential campaigns this week. It was expected that Fiorina would go soon since she wasn’t even invited to participate in the last Republican debate. Her numbers have dropped since her support of a fraudulent video against Planned Parenthood last year. Chris Christie didn’t receive an expected bounce from his thrashing of Marco Rubio in last week’s debate, so he went back to Jersey. And as far as Jim Gilmore goes, he never really had a chance. He wasn’t even in our original photo-toon of the the Republican clown car (see above link). He’s continually polled at 0% so he finally smelled the coffee and said goodbye.
Who’ll be the next to go? We think the eternally sleepwalking Ben Carson will be the next outcast from the clown car since he doesn’t even know when to come on stage (Donald Trump didn’t either for that matter). Stay tuned folks! The six remaining Republican clowns are sure to provide more comedy in the coming weeks.
The big buzz this past weekend is the malfunctioning of Marco Rubio, a.k.a Marcobot 2016, during the latest Republican debate in the fiasco which is Con-a-thon 2016. We’ll just give you a link so you can view the carnage for yourself.
Of course the guy who skewered Rubio, Chris Christie, is not without his bouts of repetition as he belittled Rubio as the ‘boy in the bubble’ repeatedly. Stephen Colbert did a nice job pointing this out as well (at @the 4:00 minute mark). Yes folks; Con-a-thon 2016 is comic gold.
The first election of the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 is coming up this Monday and everyone is getting in some late minute BS slinging before Iowans go to the polls in the Iowa Caucuses. Donald Trump made quite a ruckus (what else is new!) this past week by bypassing the Fox News Republican debate this past Thursday because Donald Trump doesn’t like Megyn Kelly. Geez! For a tough guy, Trump sure is acting like a baby. But again, what else is new for this megalomaniac who recently bragged that he could shoot people in the middle of New York and still not lose voters. While this statement shows how dangerously psychotic Trump is, it says more about how insane Trump’s supporters are because he’s actually right. Donald Trump could murder innocent people and his demented supporters would still vote for him.
Speaking of people supporting Trump, he’s got quite an eclectic list of celebrity endorsements heading into Iowa. Rolling Stone has another list. If you look at the lists, there are a lot of authoritarian, tough guy, manly men like Arizona’s own Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio, Hulk Hogan, Mike Tyson and Russian President Vladimir Putin who said of Trump “he’s a bright and talented person”. We guess it takes a tyrant to know a tyrant. We’re sure that Putin and Trump could team up and subjugate the hell out of the rest of the world just like Stalin and Hitler did. Of course, all of these aggressive egotists would rather fight and kill than use something peaceful like diplomacy.
On the female side, there’s Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, who gave the strangest endorsement speech of all time (we like Stephen Colbert’s mockery of it). Conservative harpie and living skeleton Ann Coulter, anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly and empty headed reality star Tila Tequila all are Trumpeters on Trump’s solid gold bandwagon.
But probably the strangest endorsement was by John Wayne. Although the Duke has been dead since 1979 , his daughter Aissa said that if John Wayne were alive today, he would endorse the Donald. You see Donald Trump’s 19th century mindset sits perfectly with the cowboy image embodied by the Duke. So to make America great again, we just have to make everything like it was back in the days of the Wild West (everybody’s got a gun; shoot first, ask questions later; tough, tough, tough; kill, kill, kill, etc…). We think Donald Trump’s motto should be, “We’re Going Back To The Future”.
And then there were…still way too many.
As our last post of 2015, we’re giving an update of the travesty of democracy that is Con-a-thon 2016 (only 10 and a half more months of this shit).
Lindsey Graham and George Pataki are the latest ejections from the Republican clown car. South Carolina Republican Senator Graham suspended his campaign before Christmas and former New York governor Pataki ended his yesterday. Both were polling in the microscopic region. Of course, with blowhard Donald Trump bloviating hot air and hatred 24/7, it’s not hard to figure out why nobody noticed them. We here at the Bucket would like to say we’ll miss these two, but we can’t…we just can’t. (Sweet Jesus, have we mentioned we still have 10 and a half more months of this shit!)
At the risk of flouting Godwin’s Law, we’ve noticed how far to the right the Republican party has traveled over the past twenty years; specifically in the years after Dubya left office and with the rise of the Teabaggers. Now that Donald Trump has started to spew forth truly hateful rhetoric in this farce of an election called Con-a-thon 2016, comparisons to the NSDAP party(Nazis) of 1930’s Germany are not only inevitable, but necessary. Make no mistake, it’s not just Trump who believes this filth. Every Republican candidate believes it as well, especially Rubio and Cruz, who both have said some vile, nasty unchristian things toward immigrants, foreigners, gays, women, and non-christians. Although every single high ranking Republican condemned Trump for his words, they would absolutely vote for him and support him in the general election. Yep, Trump is the heart and soul of the current Republican party and it’s pretty ugly.
What grinds our gears though, is when right wing blowhards violate Godwin’s by bloviating and showing their ignorance by comparing Obama to Hitler. This is not only laughable but blatantly incorrect. History shows that the leaders of the NSDAP party were overwhelmingly right wing conservatives not leftists (For an excellent, informative read try Richard Evans’ Third Reich trilogy: The Coming of the Third Reich; The Third Reich in Power; and The Third Reich at War). They had a well oiled propaganda machine that spewed forth hateful rhetoric about minorities and foreigners who would serve as convenient scapegoats for all national maladies. They were against gays, democratic socialists (they would have killed Obama), immigrants, and unions. Women were second class citizens who would only be useful to provide further citizens for the nation. They promoted eternal warfare and invoked nationalism to incite citizens to join the military. They pushed for a strong military and were very friendly to corporations which fueled the military industrial complex. They would regularly stoke fear in the hearts of the citizenry by claiming the aforementioned scapegoats were going to ruin their nation. They would regularly stifle opposing viewpoints by announcing that anyone who disagreed were enemies of the state and should be eliminated. Hmmmm…notice any similarities? We think Americans must take notice, (Godwin’s Law be damned) and be very concerned about this 21st century neocon Republican party that, according to its propaganda, wants to ‘make America great again’ just as a certain right wing conservative fascist party wanted to make Germany great again in the 1930s.
