We’ve got five months left in this joke of an election called Con-a-thon 2012. It’s amazing to us that so many of the so called ‘liberal’ media outlets are acting like all the problems we’re facing today are all Obama’s fault. It seems they’ve had a complete brain fart on the Bush administration. Let us not forgot that it was Dubya’s misadventures in Iraq and Afghanistan and the spending associated with those messes (not to mention the housing fiasco) that has put America in the pit it’s in today.
Here’s a photo-toon from our December 2, 2006 issue to remind us of the those glorious days back when the housing market was collapsing, the deficit was skyrocketing, and both wars had the earmarks of going on indefinitely. This is also when former Secretary of State James Baker recommended a complete withdrawal of troops from Iraq by 2008. Of course, Dubya didn’t want to do it. Well, someone with authority and a hickory switch had to give lil’ Dub-Dub a lil’ old-fashioned comeuppance.
At former President George H.W. Bush's request, former Secretary of State James Baker took President Bush out to the White House woodshed to dispense some much needed discipline.
Once again, Arizona has moved to the forefront of the news with some more lunacy, this time courtesy of Secretary of State Ken Bennett. Last week, Bennett said that although he doesn’t believe it, ‘several constituents’ wanted proof that President Barack Obama was actually born in Hawaii, even though he officially released his certificate of live birth which has been verified many times by Hawaiian officials. Look at his CNN video about the ‘birther’ conspiracy. But this isn’t good enough for the ‘birthers’. And of course the head ‘birther’ in Arizona is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio is known as “America’s toughest sheriff” because of his unorthodox disciplinarian methods used on prisoners such as making them wear pink underwear, live in tents, work on chain gangs and eat green bologna. He’s no stranger to controversy. He’s currently being investigated by the federal government for abuse of power for his enforcement methods of the controversial anti-illegal immigration act SB1070. We remember when this unenforceable, discriminatory law was passed, a journalist famously asked Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer, ‘What does an illegal immigrant looks like?’. In true Brewer fashion, she gave a deer in the headlight look, hemmed, hawed, mumbled and finally admitted she didn’t know. Because she knows that to enforce the law, you have to racially profile a certain segment of the population and to the conservative mindset, that means Hispanics.
Yes, Sheriff Arpaio has indeed been a popular figure in Arizona, especially with conservatives. He’s been in office for twenty years. He even had a short tv series on Fox Realty Channel. But we think his ego has gotten out of control. There’s a laundry list of controversies surrounding this man including several concerning abuse of power. His pursuance of the ‘birther’ issue using taxpayers money and the SB 1070 law are just two of the latest more annoying instances of this abuse of power.
So we say this to Sheriff Joe(like he’s going to listen to us): Please retire. Arizona can survive without you as Sheriff. You’re 80 years old. You’ve had a great twenty year run and a lot of great moments. Even we liked the pink underwear and chain gangs. But this latest escapade with the ‘birthers’ and SB1070 shows that it’s time to ride off into the sunset in true Arizona sheriff tradition. Please quit embarrassing our great state and give the reins to someone else.
So remember Arizonans: do ol’ Sheriff Joe and this state a big favor this fall and vote him out of office.
Space station astronauts took this photo of the ego inflated head of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio rising up into the troposphere proclaiming his words of wisdom to all within earshot.
Now that President Obama has come out in support of same sex marriage, we think it’s the perfect time to present this selection as our Book o’ the Month. Give it to a relative who is a red state, redneck conservative and watch his head explode. Fun times!
With the withdrawal of Rick “Google Me” Santorum from the Republican Presidential race, frontrunner Spiff Romney is practically assured of the nomination in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012. This means that Americans will be deluged with malarkey from Republicans for the next six months on Romney being a man of the people, when the reality is he’s been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has lived a very privileged life much like the 1%ers and the ‘people who are corporations’ he truly represents. But he’s great at conning people with his Pepsodent smile, not-a-hair-out-of-place hairstyle and dapper clothing. He’s the GOP used car salesman. So believe the flip-flopper, Spiff Romney, at your own risk America. If you buy his bs, chances are you and America will be getting a lemon.
Likely GOP Presidential nominee and flip-flopper extraordinaire, Spiff Romney, uses his used car salesman tactics to cajole lowly poor people into voting for him this fall.
It looks like the Supreme Court isn’t going to be kind to Obamacare and it looks like it’s because of that damn ‘judicial activism’ that gives Republicans hissy fits. Yes those CONservative activist judges have argued that the individual mandate is un-American which is weird because Republicans were for the individual mandate not too long ago. Even GOP Presidential candidate Spiff Romney was for it before he was against it. One CONservative activist judge, who is also Republican, has even stated that people shouldn’t be forced to buy health insurance because it would be like forcing people to eat broccoli.
What is it about Republicans and broccoli? This isn’t the first time the nutritious but bland tasting vegetable has been vilified by a well known Republican. Remember back during President George H.W. Bush’s term when he said how much he hated broccoli? Well, broccoli hating is back in vogue thanks to the Supreme Court, which is supposed to be composed of wise individuals who don’t let their politics affect their decisions. Hmmm… corporations are people, healthcare only for those who can afford it(very un-christian), strip searches for minor offenses… the GOP is right after all: activist judges are ruining this country. Just in case you’re keeping track at home, the new things the GOP wants you to be afraid of: people wearing hoodies, broccoli and …sinister music please…Obamacare.
Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia, who is also a conservative Republican, warns Americans of the latest threats to our liberty and freedom.
It’s time for another trip to yesteryear, back to those bucolic days in the summer of 2004, when Operation Iraqi Freedom a.k.a. the Iraq War, a.k.a the Slam Dunk was foundering into it’s second year, despite assurances from the Bush administration that all was well in the land of sand and oil. Now, thankfully, we’re out of Iraq and the Iraqis are left to administer their country on their own, even though sectarian violence continues and probably will continue until the country breaks out into an inevitable Civil War which has been building for a century. For a dry but informative read on the history of Iraq, pre-War, read Charles Tripp’s History of Iraq and see why we should have never gotten into this misadventure in the first place.
Here’s a photo-toon from our July 4, 2004 issue depicting Dubya’s rose colored glasses view of Iraq.
From President Bush's point of view, the new Iraq is a bright, rosy place chock full of fun and oil.
GOP presidential candidate and neo-Neanderthal , Rick “Google Me” Santorum, showed off his diplomatic skills Wednesday while campaigning in Puerto Rico, when he said that for Puerto Rico to become a state, they would have to embrace English as the primary language. Puerto Rico currently is a bilingual U.S. commonwealth and is voting in November on whether or not to pursue statehood. Spanish is also the primary language in the country because of it’s strong Spanish heritage and history. Of course, Santorum’s view is consistent with conservative Republican’s world view that everyone should speak English and Americans should only have to speak English everywhere they go, despite the fact that the majority of people in the Western Hemisphere speak Spanish. His viewpoint reminds us of when Archie Bunker tried to speak Spanish on an episode of that classic 70’s sitcom, All in the Family. Pues, creemos que Santorum es un pendejo grande!
GOP candidate Rick 'Google Me' Santorum impresses the bilingual crowds in Puerto Rico with his command of the Spanish language.
Controversial, conservative radio talk show host and unofficial Republican party boss, Rush ‘Boss Limhogg’ Limbaugh, has opened his large mouth and gotten himself in hot water with women again. Last week, Limhogg went on a misogynistic rant against Georgetown law student, Sandra Fluke, who testified before a House Democratic Steering and Policy committee about the financial burden of contraception for female law students. Boss Limhogg called her a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute’ amongst other slurs on his show provoking outrage from many, including more centrist Republicans.
As a result, Limhogg’s radio show has lost a slew of sponsors. Does this spell the end of Boss Limhogg? Are you kidding?! This man is a conservative icon in the Republican party. Although he ‘apologized’ to Fluke, he’s still ranting against her and women in general. This has happened tons of times before in the past twenty years. Look for nothing to change. After all, he is Boss Limhogg. We think this article over at Media Matters presents the Republicans relationship with Limhogg succinctly.
Unofficial GOP leader and female connoisseur, Boss Limhogg, reflects on the status of women in America.
It’s pretty obvious by the anemic turnout for the primaries and caucuses in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012, that there are many Republicans who aren’t too thrilled with the four candidates that have survived thus far: Spiff Romney, Rick “Google Me” Santorum, Uncle Newtie Gingrich and that gruff ol’ Prospector Ron “I’m agin’ everything” Paul. Polls also indicate that President Obama would have an easy time beating any of these candidates. There are many articles on the mainstream media sites speaking of a brokered convention and a new ‘white knight’ candidate to ride in and rescue the party from ignominious defeat in November. Well we’ve discovered that a new candidate, who reflects the values of the most extreme conservative Republicans (who just so happen to have a stranglehold on the party), has stepped forward to change the fortunes of the GOP. Finally the ‘white knight’ has arrived!
A ‘White Knight’ candidate has emerged for the Republicans who embodies everything that the extreme right wing conservatives hold dear.
It’s time to look at another one of the jesters in the GOP clown car that is Con-a-thon 2012. Good ol’ Uncle Newtie Gingrich, the GOP flavor of the month not too long ago, sure has stuck his foot in it again. He recently suggested in a speech on the campaign trail that those who ride the subway in New York are elitist. That’s right. You’re always hearing about the rich and powerful arriving at their $10,000 dollar a plate dinners taking the Blue Line in from their Central Park penthouse apartments. It will be interesting to see all the tuxedo and gown clad stars at the upcoming Oscar festivities, getting out of their subway cars on the Metro Red Line and hoofing it over to the Kodak Theatre. Seriously, if anyone is still planning on voting for Gingrich, they should probably seek psychiatric help first.
GOP candidate Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista splurge and take a ride on the 'Chariot of the Gods' to their favorite store.
