Archive for Con-a-thon 2012

Just Gaffeing Around

August 4, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

The world got a good look at Mitt Romney last week and … they don’t like him. He made gaffe after gaffe with world leaders and certainly didn’t improve foreign perceptions of the United States. About the only meeting that went off without a hitch was Romney’s meeting with former Solidarity Union leader and Polish president Lech Wałęsa, who seems to be backing Romney. Which begs the question, why would a union leader support Romney? Conservative Republicans hate unions. If Wałęsa’s movement was in the United States, Romney would be trying to dissolve it. Wałęsa is a very religious man, so we’re thinking in this case that religion trumps common sense.

Or just maybe, Romney managed to pull a boner and the media just swept it under the rug. Why that’s blasphemy! How could we even suggest such a thing? The news media never looks the other way when it comes to Republican candidates.

Former Solidarity leader and Polish president, Lech Wałęsa, seems to be having second thoughts about his endorsement of Mitt Romney in the upcoming American presidential election.

 

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fiscal Priorities

July 26, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus

Con-a-thon 2012 drags on and on and on….  Isn’t this election over yet? What’s really shocking about this election is the record amount of money spent on the elections. Thanks to the Citizens United decision by our supposedly enlightened Supreme Court, corporations can contribute the moon to buy the election for their favorite lackey, politician. Republican affiliated Super PACs alone are planning on spending one billion dollars on the election. Democrats are estimated to spend anywhere from 100-400 million dollars. Wow!  What’s pathetic is that this money could be spent on something more constructive like building infrastructure, paying off America’s debt or … I don’t know…creating jobs and sorry, we don’t consider election jobs real jobs even though nowadays the election cycles seem perpetual. Is this country broken??? Nahhhhhh. Just donate to your nearest Super PAC and don’t worry your pretty little heads about it. The ‘job creators’ are taking care of everything.

MegaloCorpBank CEO J. Charles Harrington IV, explains the American election process to a clueless, middle class peon.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaires

June 23, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus, Redneck Wisdom

Author John Steinbeck famously observed that “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” We think this insightful comment best explains why anybody in the United States would vote for putting Republicans back in charge of the country after eight disastrous years of Bushonomics (tax cuts for the rich, spend the country into bankruptcy and the middle class foots the bill). Oh, that’s right. Spiff Romney is rich and he’ll make us all rich, too. Ah, the trickle down myth lives on!

A couple of temporarily embarrassed millionaires contemplate their march to grandeur under a Spiff Romney presidency.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: A Trip To The Woodshed

June 5, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

We’ve got five months left in this joke of an election called Con-a-thon 2012. It’s amazing to us that so many of the so called ‘liberal’ media outlets are acting like all the problems we’re facing today are all Obama’s fault. It seems they’ve had a complete brain fart on the Bush administration. Let us not forgot that it was Dubya’s misadventures in Iraq and Afghanistan and the spending associated with those messes (not to mention the housing fiasco) that has put America in the pit it’s in today.

Here’s a photo-toon from our December 2, 2006 issue to remind us of the those glorious days back when the housing market was collapsing, the deficit was skyrocketing, and both wars had the earmarks of going on indefinitely. This is also when former Secretary of State James Baker recommended a complete withdrawal of troops from Iraq by 2008. Of course, Dubya didn’t want to do it. Well, someone with authority and a hickory switch had to give lil’ Dub-Dub a lil’ old-fashioned comeuppance.

At former President George H.W. Bush's request, former Secretary of State James Baker took President Bush out to the White House woodshed to dispense some much needed discipline.

 

No comments , , , , , , , , ,

The Used Car Salesman

April 20, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

With the withdrawal of Rick “Google Me” Santorum from the Republican Presidential race, frontrunner Spiff Romney is practically assured of the nomination in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012. This means that Americans will be deluged with malarkey from Republicans for the next six months on Romney being a man of the people, when the reality is he’s been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has lived a very privileged life much like the 1%ers and the ‘people who are corporations’ he truly represents. But he’s great at conning people with his Pepsodent smile, not-a-hair-out-of-place hairstyle and dapper clothing. He’s the GOP used car salesman. So believe the flip-flopper, Spiff Romney, at your own risk America.  If you buy his bs, chances are you and America will be getting a lemon.

Likely GOP Presidential nominee and flip-flopper extraordinaire, Spiff Romney, uses his used car salesman tactics to cajole lowly poor people into voting for him this fall.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , ,

Beer, Guns, and Car Crashes

April 5, 2012 bb_admin Book O' The Month, Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, In Guns We Trust, Neocon Media Circus, Wide World O' Wacky

It looks more and more like Spiff Romney is going to be the GOP nominee. But he polls very badly with southern Republicans and has lost all the southern primaries thus far except for Florida. Well, the Bucket is here to help the ol’ Spiffster. That’s why we’re presenting this selection as our Book o’ the Month by the ‘Sidney Sheldon of the Deep South’, Billy Joe Ray Bob Cooper. Read this book, Spiff Romney, and develop a new Southern strategy based on three key ingredients: beer, guns, and car crashes. Oh and mentioning Jesus a million times sure couldn’t hurt either.

 

No comments , , , , , , , , ,

Speako Englisho

March 16, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

GOP presidential candidate and neo-Neanderthal , Rick “Google Me” Santorum, showed off his diplomatic skills Wednesday while campaigning in Puerto Rico, when he said that for Puerto Rico to become a state, they would have to embrace English as the primary language. Puerto Rico currently is a bilingual U.S. commonwealth and is voting in November on whether or not to pursue statehood. Spanish is also the primary language in the country because of it’s strong Spanish heritage and history. Of course, Santorum’s view is consistent with conservative Republican’s world view that everyone should speak English and Americans should only have to speak English everywhere they go, despite the fact that the majority of people in the Western Hemisphere speak Spanish.  His viewpoint reminds us of when Archie Bunker tried to speak Spanish on an episode of that classic 70’s sitcom, All in the Family. Pues, creemos que Santorum es un pendejo grande!

GOP candidate Rick 'Google Me' Santorum impresses the bilingual crowds in Puerto Rico with his command of the Spanish language.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , ,

Santorum, Kansas: Proudly Entering the Stone Age

March 11, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus, U.S. Coins

It looks like Rick “Google Me” Santorum has won the Kansas caucuses in the sham that is… Con-a-thon 2012. Yes a whopping 1% of the population in Kansas cast their votes Saturday and Mr. Santorum tallied an impressive 15,000 votes. Wow! Can you feel the excitement?! It’s like the ‘Joe-Mentum’ of Joe Lieberman all over again.

Of course it’s not surprising that Santorum won Kansas given it’s recent history of supporting teaching creationism…oops…I mean ‘intelligent design’ in its schools alongside evolution. And according to creationism…oops…I mean ‘intelligent design’ the world is only a few thousand years old and stone age man roamed the earth with fun loving dinosaurs frolicking at their heels. Here’s a photo-toon from our December 7, 2005 issue. The cave man’s resemblance to Mr. Santorum is uncanny!

The U.S. Mint reissued a newly designed Kansas state quarter to reflect the Kansas Board of Education's decision to allow teaching intelligent design in science classrooms alongside evolution.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The White Knight

March 4, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

It’s pretty obvious by the anemic turnout for the primaries and caucuses in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012, that there are many Republicans who aren’t too thrilled with the four candidates that have survived thus far: Spiff Romney, Rick “Google Me” Santorum, Uncle Newtie Gingrich and that gruff ol’ Prospector Ron “I’m agin’ everything” Paul. Polls also indicate that President Obama would have an easy time beating any of these candidates. There are many articles on the mainstream media sites speaking of a brokered convention and a new ‘white knight’ candidate to ride in and rescue the party from ignominious defeat in November. Well we’ve discovered that a new candidate, who reflects the values of the most extreme conservative Republicans (who just so happen to have a stranglehold on the party), has stepped forward to change the fortunes of the GOP. Finally the ‘white knight’ has arrived!

A ‘White Knight’ candidate has emerged for the Republicans who embodies everything that the extreme right wing conservatives hold dear.

 

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Chariot Of The Gods

February 19, 2012 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Grand Old Plutocrats, Neocon Media Circus

It’s time to look at another one of the jesters in the GOP clown car that is Con-a-thon 2012. Good ol’ Uncle Newtie Gingrich, the GOP flavor of the month not too long ago, sure has stuck his foot in it again. He recently suggested in a speech on the campaign trail that those who ride the subway in New York are elitist. That’s right. You’re always hearing about the rich and powerful arriving at their $10,000 dollar a plate dinners taking the Blue Line in from their Central Park penthouse apartments. It will be interesting to see all the tuxedo and gown clad stars at the upcoming Oscar festivities, getting out of their subway cars on the Metro Red Line and hoofing it over to the Kodak Theatre. Seriously, if anyone is still planning on voting for Gingrich, they should probably seek psychiatric help first.

GOP candidate Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista splurge and take a ride on the 'Chariot of the Gods' to their favorite store.

 

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Entries   Recent Entries »