Tag: Tea Party

Season Of The Glitch

It’s no secret that the performance of the ACA website, healthcare.gov., has been less than spectacular. The words ‘lackluster’ or ‘dismal’ come to mind. But in these modern times of agile software development, where the goal is to just get the product out at deadline and then fix the myriads of problems after release, it shouldn’t come as any surprise at all to anybody familiar with software development. But you’d think the Obama administration would have found some competent developers on what will be his legacy piece of legislation. Nevertheless, the failures associated with healthcare.gov seem to be happening on very fundamental issues. It seems very fishy to us. Could there have been sabotage from…I don’t know…developers with conservative Republican bias? It turns out that the Canadian company, CGI, which contracted to do the website, contributed heavily to Republican coffers. Wow. Can you imagine a bunch of Teabagger patriots working on the site? No wonder it’s not working correctly.

A couple of highly competent Teabagger software developers work feverishly to fix the problems with healthcare.gov.

 

 

GOP’s Pyrrhic Victory

On Wednesday, Congress finally made a deal to fund the government and increase the debt limit, which was clearly a victory for President Obama and the Democrats. Right? Not so fast, America. Shutdown architect and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, declared that the shutdown was a great victory…for the Republicans???!!! Ah yes! The delusion continues…

Teabagger patriot and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, basks in the glow of his recent accomplishments.

The Fog Of Delusion

Republicans Holds America Hostage: Day 15…What?…Wait!…Day 15!!! Are you freaking kidding!!!

Well, the GOP shutdown clusterf*ck continues with no end in sight. According to polls everywhere, the Republicans are becoming less popular than syphilis. But Teabagger Extraordinaire, Ted Cruz, remains not only optimistic, but downright gung-ho. You see, according to the No-class Cruzer’s polls, the Teabagging Republicans are the most popular phenomenon since hula-hoops, transistor radios, crew cuts and slavery. Apparently, the right-wing bubble doesn’t permit 21st century reality to enter and is instead perpetually stuck in the 1950s or 1850s, take your pick. But have no fear America. Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are here to guide us to the Rapture. Or as Bachmann put it, “Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand.” Great! Just in time for Halloween!

Teabagger patriots Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, assure Americans that all is swell in Teabaggerland.

 

 

Bully, Bully!

Republicans Holds America Hostage: Day 5…

Back in May, Senator Harry Reid correctly called Senator Ted Cruz “a schoolyard bully” and what did the smuggest Senator alive do? He copped a “what? little old me?” attitude.  Fast forward to this past week and you’ve got the No-class Cruzer pulling the same old crap stating that the Democrats want to shut the government down despite that fact he gave a 21 hour filibuster indicating that the Republicans would shutdown the government unless Obamacare was defunded.

But the funny thing is that the No-class Cruzer gave the world a hint back during the recent Syria crisis on how to deal with these Teabagging GOP bullies who turn into crybabies whenever they don’t get their way. In response to Syria’s action, Cruz said, “Bullies and tyrants don’t respect weakness.”  Boom! There it is! Hopefully, the Democrats will keep the spine they’ve recently discovered and won’t let the wittle Teabagger babies get their way on their wittle temper tantrum.

Texas Tea Party darling and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives some helpful hints to a furloughed government employee on dealing with bullies.

Snooze Cruz

The talk of this past week is all about Texas junior Senator Ted Cruz’s 21 hour filibuster (or filibluster) to oppose Obamacare. Jon Stewart humorously covered the filibuster fiasco quite nicely on the Daily Show. Ted Cruz is the perfect picture of today’s modern Republican Teabagger: smug, self-satisfied and completely clueless. Look at his pictures on the internet. Have you ever seen a smugger puss in your life?   Even Republicans aren’t fond of this guy. And this former Canadian has Presidential ambitions, too. We here at the Bucket have a solution. Why doesn’t Texas secede from the United States and Ted Cruz can be President of the new Lone Star Republic. It’s win-win for everybody. Texas becomes it’s own country with one of it’s own as it’s God-fearing, conservative leader and America gets rid of one seriously crazy, wack-a-doodle politician and the irritating state that gave us Dubya, Rick Perry and the most annoying slogan of all time, “Don’t Mess With Texas”.

Texas Senator and Tea Party darling, Ted Cruz, impresses some admiring Teabaggers with his compassionate words of wisdom.

The True Media Darlings Protest

The big question on the blogosphere these days is which protest group is the one true protest group that America can embrace and call its own, the Occupy Wall Street movement or the Teabaggers. While it has been been reported that some Teabaggers actually showed up to show their support, most have been complaining that the OWS movement is nothing like their sparkling example of how a true, red-blooded, American protest group should act. Could it be that the Teabaggers are green with envy besides being green with cash from corporate backing? Will the real Patriots please stand up!

Cactus Corners Teabaggers Harold and Martha Kowalski respond with derision rather than solidarity for the Occupy Wall Street protesters.

The Great Compromiser

You’ve got to feel for President Obama. For the last three years, he’s reached across the aisle, bending over backwards trying to accommodate Republicans with deals that appeal to both sides, attempting to find a common middle ground and what does he get? A bunch of whiny, obstinate, partisan, GOP, crybabies acting like two year olds who won’t agree to anything he offers, because they’re being pressured from the supposedly “financially responsible” Teabaggers(who are being propped up by deep pocketed corporations), who apparently don’t have any memory that they supported the fiscal malfeasance of Obama’s predecessor, George W. Bush. (Gee, we don’t sound bitter do we?) While we here at the Bucket admire his attempts (and his patience), we think that sometimes you just have to slap the stubborn, sniveling brats upside the head and make them mind. Unfortunately, for Obama, his three years of bending over backwards has left him in an uncompromising position; not the best way to celebrate the big 5-0.

Three years of bending over backwards trying to compromise with whiny, partisan, GOP congressman has left President Obama in an uncompromising position.