Republicans Holds America Hostage: Day 15…What?…Wait!…Day 15!!! Are you freaking kidding!!!
Well, the GOP shutdown clusterf*ck continues with no end in sight. According to polls everywhere, the Republicans are becoming less popular than syphilis. But Teabagger Extraordinaire, Ted Cruz, remains not only optimistic, but downright gung-ho. You see, according to the No-class Cruzer’s polls, the Teabagging Republicans are the most popular phenomenon since hula-hoops, transistor radios, crew cuts and slavery. Apparently, the right-wing bubble doesn’t permit 21st century reality to enter and is instead perpetually stuck in the 1950s or 1850s, take your pick. But have no fear America. Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are here to guide us to the Rapture. Or as Bachmann put it, “Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand.” Great! Just in time for Halloween!
Teabagger patriots Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, assure Americans that all is swell in Teabaggerland.
But the funny thing is that the No-class Cruzer gave the world a hint back during the recent Syria crisis on how to deal with these Teabagging GOP bullies who turn into crybabies whenever they don’t get their way. In response to Syria’s action, Cruz said, “Bullies and tyrants don’t respect weakness.” Boom! There it is! Hopefully, the Democrats will keep the spine they’ve recently discovered and won’t let the wittle Teabagger babies get their way on their wittle temper tantrum.
Texas Tea Party darling and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives some helpful hints to a furloughed government employee on dealing with bullies.
How about that government shutdown, eh? We hope the caretakers for the House Republicans are checking the GOP congressmen’s diapers. It’s gotta be stinking to high heaven inside those chambers. If anyone votes for a Republican after this fiasco, they should be taken out behind the woodshed.
The Republicans officially changed their logo to one that more accurately reflects their modern persona.
The talk of this past week is all about Texas junior Senator Ted Cruz’s 21 hour filibuster (or filibluster) to oppose Obamacare. Jon Stewart humorously covered the filibuster fiasco quite nicely on the Daily Show. Ted Cruz is the perfect picture of today’s modern Republican Teabagger: smug, self-satisfied and completely clueless. Look at his pictures on the internet. Have you ever seen a smugger puss in your life? Even Republicans aren’t fond of this guy. And this former Canadian has Presidential ambitions, too. We here at the Bucket have a solution. Why doesn’t Texas secede from the United States and Ted Cruz can be President of the new Lone Star Republic. It’s win-win for everybody. Texas becomes it’s own country with one of it’s own as it’s God-fearing, conservative leader and America gets rid of one seriously crazy, wack-a-doodle politician and the irritating state that gave us Dubya, Rick Perry and the most annoying slogan of all time, “Don’t Mess With Texas”.
Texas Senator and Tea Party darling, Ted Cruz, impresses some admiring Teabaggers with his compassionate words of wisdom.
Here’s a SKYMart product just in time for the holidays. Get it for that Jesus loving, gun waving, patriotic Teabagger in your life.
What’s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell…all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That’s why we’re teaming with SKYMart, America’s favorite in-flight crap merchant shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!
Just in time for the holidays…Nothing says Merry Christmas America more than this house size inflatable Jesus who is toting an AK-47 and wearing an American flag lapel pin. Prove how much you love America and hate the terrorists by buying the biggest inflatable on the block. As we all know, bigger is better, especially in America. This large, inflatable savior means business and will put the fear of God into all those secular humanists and atheists. Inflate with hot air only. From the leader in trendy, exploitative, expensive, patriotic goods, PatrioTrends. Sale Price: only $12,250.
The big question on the blogosphere these days is which protest group is the one true protest group that America can embrace and call its own, the Occupy Wall Street movement or the Teabaggers. While it has been been reported that some Teabaggers actually showed up to show their support, most have been complaining that the OWS movement is nothing like their sparkling example of how a true, red-blooded, American protest group should act. Could it be that the Teabaggers are green with envy besides being green with cash from corporate backing? Will the real Patriots please stand up!
Cactus Corners Teabaggers Harold and Martha Kowalski respond with derision rather than solidarity for the Occupy Wall Street protesters.
The Occupy Wall Street movement has entered it’s fourth week and appears to be gaining strength. Demonstrations against Wall Street greed have broken out in many major cities. Even major media outlets have taken notice(albeit reluctantly). But of course, these demonstrators can’t compare to those darlings of patriotic protesters, the Teabaggers (we here at the Bucket choose to use their original moniker instead of their Foxified name, the Tea Party movement).
The Teabaggers have been quite a media sensation the last couple of years. This group of supposedly cheezed off ‘patriots’, supported by business interests and media outlets such as Fox News a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, have stated that they are against anyone paying more taxes(even the rich) and against socialized medicine (except Medicare) and against entitlement programs (except Social Security and corporate entitlements) and against socialism and for more christianity (forget that Jesus was a socialist). To anyone who doubts that this group is full of **it, it’s interesting that during the Bush administration, which increased the size of government, increased the deficit, increased military spending, and increased the national debt, these bastions of conservatism didn’t protest one bit. But the second, President Obama took the oath of office, these ‘patriots’ are all up in arms about fiscal responsibility. To top it off, their ideal person to solve all our problems is none other than … Ms. Ubetcha herself, Sarah Palin. Which also brings to mind, if the media is so ‘liberal’ like El Rushblo claims, then why was there a joint CNN/Teabagger debate for Republican candidates recently? We would think a ‘liberal’ media would be doing exactly to the Teabaggers what they’ve been doing to the Occupy Wall Street protesters and that would be ignoring them. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.
The text in the word balloons in this photo-toon is actual verbiage from Teabagger protest signs. To see more examples of these insightful, intelligent, witty signs, click here. The Teabaggers write their own jokes by just being themselves.
Cactus Corner residents and Teabagger Patriots Harold and Martha Kowalski spew forth pearls of wisdom to their fellow patriots.
