The Republican comedy tour continues this fall and now it looks like there is a new front runner. Former pizza magnate Herman Cain, has surged to the top of Republican polls touting his plan 999 from outer space in order to save the planet. Sounds like another flavor of the month to us.
We’ve held off as long as we could, but we’re going to start our coverage of the upcoming election, Con-a-thon 2012. Today we present the leading GOP comedians candidates: Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Mitt(Spiff) Romney, Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich.
I said I’m not running but my ego is pretty gynormous. Anything can happen. You betcha!
God wants me to be President so I can bring forth the Rapture. Yay!
Evolution is a crock, God wants me to be President and I’m nothing like Dubya.
I’m anti-abortion and pro-choice. Oh and I love sitting on fences in my magic underwear. Yay!
My plan 999 from outer space promises a pizza in every pot.
Occupy Wall Street has gone world wide and is gaining momentum. The 99% now have demonstrations going strong in every major world city from Phoenix to Toronto to Brussels to Berlin to Madrid to Auckland, New Zealand. And what does the media do. They’re still asking questions like “What do these people want?”, “How can they be taken seriously without leadership?”, and saying things like “They’re just lazy and don’t want to work”. Well, what do expect from the mouthpieces for those poor, oppressed, unfortunate %1ers.
But finally, we’re starting to hear from those hapless, persecuted, underrepresented 1%ers. Hopefully, justice will prevail and bank, insurance and oil companies will continue making billions and not have to pay taxes. We wouldn’t want their executives to go without their yachts, luxury car fleets and caviar. Egads! How could those poor wretches survive?
MegaloCorpBank CEO J. Charles Harrington IV, finally weighs in with compassion for the vile, brutish, beastly 99% from the poor, misunderstood, underrepresented 1%.
The Occupy Wall Street movement has entered it’s fourth week and appears to be gaining strength. Demonstrations against Wall Street greed have broken out in many major cities. Even major media outlets have taken notice(albeit reluctantly). But of course, these demonstrators can’t compare to those darlings of patriotic protesters, the Teabaggers (we here at the Bucket choose to use their original moniker instead of their Foxified name, the Tea Party movement).
The Teabaggers have been quite a media sensation the last couple of years. This group of supposedly cheezed off ‘patriots’, supported by business interests and media outlets such as Fox News a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, have stated that they are against anyone paying more taxes(even the rich) and against socialized medicine (except Medicare) and against entitlement programs (except Social Security and corporate entitlements) and against socialism and for more christianity (forget that Jesus was a socialist). To anyone who doubts that this group is full of **it, it’s interesting that during the Bush administration, which increased the size of government, increased the deficit, increased military spending, and increased the national debt, these bastions of conservatism didn’t protest one bit. But the second, President Obama took the oath of office, these ‘patriots’ are all up in arms about fiscal responsibility. To top it off, their ideal person to solve all our problems is none other than … Ms. Ubetcha herself, Sarah Palin. Which also brings to mind, if the media is so ‘liberal’ like El Rushblo claims, then why was there a joint CNN/Teabagger debate for Republican candidates recently? We would think a ‘liberal’ media would be doing exactly to the Teabaggers what they’ve been doing to the Occupy Wall Street protesters and that would be ignoring them. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.
The text in the word balloons in this photo-toon is actual verbiage from Teabagger protest signs. To see more examples of these insightful, intelligent, witty signs, click here. The Teabaggers write their own jokes by just being themselves.
Cactus Corner residents and Teabagger Patriots Harold and Martha Kowalski spew forth pearls of wisdom to their fellow patriots.
This will be the last installment of our Dick Cheney retrospective because quite frankly we’re sick of him and we want him to go far away, like maybe Iraq. He’d be greeted with flowers there and he’d be downright giddy being around all that precious oil. So here is a photo-toon from our May 9, 2004 issue right after Dick and Dubya testified in a secret, off the record testimony before the 9/11 commission (you know the manure was flying in that meeting). We think this photo-toon succinctly captures the essence of the Bush presidency.
President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney performed their patented bamboozling act before the 9/11 Commission last week.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 11, 2007 issue. At that time, Afghanistan had set a record in opium production and that it had increased ever since the U.S. occupation started in 2001. Production has dropped since the all time high in 2007, but it is still higher than in was before the occupation. Here’s a link to a Wikipedia article about the subject. Well at least the occupation has been good for one business besides the defense industry.
Vice President Dick Cheney recently visited with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai and together they walked the Afghan poppy fields where opium production was up from 4100 tons in 2005 to a record 6100 tons in 2006.
Here’s another photo-toon from the March 1, 2006 issue. Remember, about the same time that Uncle Dick shot Harry Whittington, that pillar of honesty, Scooter Libby was giving testimony in his perjury, making false statements and obstruction of justice trial. Well there was quite a stir when Libby said the then Vice President authorized him to leak classified information in 2003 to bolster the case for the US-led war against Iraq. What a Dick! We knew right then and there who Uncle Dick’s new hunting partner would be.
After Scooter Libby’s recent testimony implicating Dick Cheney in the Valerie Plame leaks, the Vice President decided to take Libby on a hunting trip.
In our last post, we mentioned the infamous quail hunting incident on February 11, 2006, when then Vice President Dick Cheney shot an acquaintance, Harry Whittington, in the face, neck and chest with buckshot while trying to blast some birds into oblivion. Not only did Uncle Dick wait 18 hours to report the incident, he also never really apologized to Whittington, who suffered severe health problems from the shooting. But what really amazed us was that Whittington apologized to Cheney saying, “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week.” Wow! The guy gets shot in the face and he apologizes to the guy who shot him. Unbelievable! Some conservative Republicans are certainly sheep when it comes to authority figures. Here’s a link to an article about Whittington not receiving an apology. Here’s a Wikipedia link to the whole sordid hunting trip.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 1, 2006 issue. You’ll note that Uncle Dick resembles a certain character from Lord of the Rings. From February 2004 up until February 2009, we depicted Cheney as Gollum in our photo-toons. We got the idea when we were looking at one of the animations on Mark Fiore’s excellent site. He presented Cheney as a Gollum-like creature in a never ending pursuit of his ‘precious’ oil in Iraq. Brilliant! We know a good thing when we see it, so we also presented Cheney in a similar vein. Is it disrespectful? Yep! But then again look at the absolute mess Uncle Dick and Dubya left us after eight years in office. What a Dick!
Harry Whittington appears with Vice President Dick Cheney to show he’s fit as a fiddle and ready to grovel again.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney sure loves his guns. Remember, when he shot an acquaintance while quail hunting and didn’t apologize to the guy. What a Dick! We’ll have more photo-toons on that later this week.
Today, here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue. Just look at Dick’s face(it’s not photoshopped). It’s true love, folks! Maybe conservative Republicans will go for man-gun marriages.
Extreme über patriot and Fox News personality, Glenn Beck, who loves America more than all other Americans combined, gives former Vice-President Dick Cheney a voluptuous gun for the future conservative uprising in America.
Just when you thought it was safe, former Vice President Dick Cheney has emerged from his underground lair with a new tell all book about the Bush administration and (drumroll please)… nothing was Uncle Dick’s fault. The Dickster pretty much lays all the blame for everything that went wrong in Iraq on Condi Rice, Colin Powell and George Tenet and in typical Dick form, apologizes for nothing. He also praises Dubya as an outstanding leader. Well, we’ll just read the reviews of the book because we think the only thing Dick does well is spread the manure on thick and high.
So we’ve decided for the next few days, we’d repost some of the worst of Uncle Dick during his time in the Bush administration. We’ll start off with a link to an interview he did back in 1994 for a conservative think tank, American Enterprise Institute. He states in the interview that if George H.W. Bush had sent in troops to Baghdad in 1991 a quagmire would have resulted. Whaaaaaaaaaa!!! So, Cheney knew the Iraq War and Occupation would be a quagmire and yet he lied to the American people in 2003 by saying we’d be greeted as liberators. What a Dick!!
The evangelical christians have sure been showing their true ignorance lately with Pat Robertson and Michele Bachmann proclaiming that the east coast hurricanes and earthquakes are signs from God. Bachmann later recanted saying she was just jesting and that she has a fantastic sense of humor (well that statement made us howl with laughter). But what cracks us up here at the Bucket is religious conservatives’, especially GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry, insistence that evolution is “just a theory” and that creationism should be taught in school on an equal footing with evolution. Of course they ignore that the Bible is a first century book of mythology and has tons of holes in it but we guess that’s just what’s called ‘faith’. Even Pope John Paul II said that evolution was “more than just a hypothesis.” But we like Biologist Richard Dawkins’ response to Rick Perry the best. Here’s the link.
Here’s one of our favorite photo-toons from our June 2, 2007 issue commemorating the opening of that bastion of ‘intelligent design’, the Creation Museum.
The Creation Museum, based on the teachings of the book of Genesis in the Bible, opened recently in Petersburg, Kentucky and contains such thought provoking, scientifically accurate displays as this one which depicts humans and dinosaurs co-existing peacefully in a sun-kissed, peachy keen world.
