GOP – Page 54 – BilgeBucket Gazette

Apologizing’s For Wimps

Our Dick Cheney retrospective continues…

In our last post, we mentioned the infamous quail hunting incident on February 11, 2006, when then Vice President Dick Cheney shot an acquaintance, Harry Whittington, in the face, neck and chest with buckshot while trying to blast some birds into oblivion. Not only did Uncle Dick wait 18 hours to report the incident, he also never really apologized to Whittington, who suffered severe health problems from the shooting. But what really amazed us was that Whittington apologized to Cheney saying, “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week.” Wow! The guy gets shot in the face and he apologizes to the guy who shot him. Unbelievable! Some conservative Republicans are certainly sheep when it comes to authority figures. Here’s a link to an article about Whittington not receiving an apology. Here’s a Wikipedia link to the whole sordid hunting trip.

Here’s a photo-toon from our March 1, 2006 issue. You’ll note that Uncle Dick resembles a certain character from Lord of the Rings. From February 2004 up until February 2009, we depicted Cheney as Gollum in our photo-toons. We got the idea when we were looking at one of the animations on Mark Fiore’s excellent site. He presented Cheney as a Gollum-like creature in a never ending pursuit of his ‘precious’ oil in Iraq. Brilliant! We know a good thing when we see it, so we also presented Cheney in a similar vein. Is it disrespectful? Yep! But then again look at the absolute mess Uncle Dick and Dubya left us after eight years in office. What a Dick!

cheneywhittington — Harry Whittington appears with Vice President Dick Cheney to show he’s fit as a fiddle and ready to grovel again.

Uncle Dick’s Gun Lust

Our Dick Cheney retrospective continues…

Former Vice President Dick Cheney sure loves his guns. Remember, when he shot an acquaintance while quail hunting and didn’t apologize to the guy. What a Dick! We’ll have more photo-toons on that later this week.

Today, here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue. Just look at Dick’s face(it’s not photoshopped). It’s true love, folks! Maybe conservative Republicans will go for man-gun marriages.

Extreme über patriot and Fox News personality, Glenn Beck, who loves America more than all other Americans combined, gives former Vice-President Dick Cheney a voluptuous gun for the future conservative uprising in America.

Invertebrate-in-Chief

President Obama sure is making it difficult for his supporters to maintain confidence in him. Just this past week, he postponed his jobs speech to satisfy a few GOP whiners and caved into industry and their Republican lackeys by withdrawing support for EPA supported regulations, which would have tightened pollution controls (breathing clean air is overrated anyway, right). He’s also considering capitulating to Big Oil and supporting the Tar Sands Keystone XL Pipeline, which would bring oil from Canada down through the central plains of United States to Texas to be refined (let the oil addiction continue). Not exactly the environmentally friendly, alternative energy boosting person he portrayed himself to be. At this rate, Obama may have to pull an LBJ and announce that he will not seek re-election for a second term. But then again, look at the leading GOP candidates. Yep! The 2012 election will be one titanic joke.

obamanospine — President Obama, like many of his fellow Democrats, seems to be regressing into an invertebrate.

In the Beginning, There Was BS

The evangelical christians have sure been showing their true ignorance lately with Pat Robertson and Michele Bachmann proclaiming that the east coast hurricanes and earthquakes are signs from God. Bachmann later recanted saying she was just jesting and that she has a fantastic sense of humor (well that statement made us howl with laughter). But what cracks us up here at the Bucket is religious conservatives’, especially GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry, insistence that evolution is “just a theory” and that creationism should be taught in school on an equal footing with evolution. Of course they ignore that the Bible is a first century book of mythology and has tons of holes in it but we guess that’s just what’s called ‘faith’. Even Pope John Paul II said that evolution was “more than just a hypothesis.” But we like Biologist Richard Dawkins’ response to Rick Perry the best. Here’s the link.

Here’s one of our favorite photo-toons from our June 2, 2007 issue commemorating the opening of that bastion of ‘intelligent design’, the Creation Museum.

creationmuseum — The Creation Museum, based on the teachings of the book of Genesis in the Bible, opened recently in Petersburg, Kentucky and contains such thought provoking, scientifically accurate displays as this one which depicts humans and dinosaurs co-existing peacefully in a sun-kissed, peachy keen world.

Dubya Spent 1020 Days on Vacation

There were blurbs on most websites today stating that some people are criticizing President Obama for taking a 10 day vacation right now. Those ‘some people’ are basically Fox News and neocons who have conveniently short memories when it comes to presidential vacations. Of his time in office, George W. Bush spent 1020 days on vacation, the most of any President in history. And at this time in Dubya’s presidency(almost 3 years), he had spent 180 days on vacation. Obama has spent a grand total of 61 days on vacation, a mere drop in the bucket compared to Bush. And let’s not forget that in August 2001, Dubya spent most of August patriotically clearing brush on his Crawford ranch ignoring stupid memos about ‘terrorists determined to strike inside the U.S.’.

Let’s revisit one of Dubya’s finer moments when he was looking for scapegoats for the botched Iraqi intelligence which led to the Iraq occupation fiasco. This is from our April 10, 2005 issue.

bushnotme — President Bush announces that the real culprits responsible for Iraqi intelligence failures were the adorable little imps from the Family Circus comic strips, Not Me and Ida Know.

Corporations Are People, Too

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt(or Spiff, as we at the Bucket call him) Romney was heckled, jeered and hooted at in Iowa the other day when he said in a speech that ‘corporations are people’. We applaud this fine gesture but we think, since there are many farms in the Hawkeye state, the people should have also heaved some manure at the ol’ Spiffster.

Speaking of heaving crap, in 2010, the Supreme Court said basically that ‘corporations are people, too’ when they ruled that corporations should not be limited in the amount of money they can contribute to political campaigns. So this means that corporate America can use their immense wealth to greatly influence elections so that lackeys(Teabaggers anyone?) who support their agenda(tax cuts anyone?) will get elected. This kind of government is called a plutarchy, which is a combination of plutocracy and an oligarchy. And a plutarchy pretty much means the average citizen is royally screwed.

Depending on your source, it’s estimated that 50-60% of corporations pay no income taxes. In 2009, companies like GE, Bank of America, Citigroup and Valero paid no income taxes whatsoever while making billions of dollars in profits. Now that’s patriotism! So much for that saying ‘with great power comes great responsibility’. Well, we say if ‘corporations are people, too’ then they can start paying more taxes. Teabaggers keep blathering about returning to the good ol’ days of the ’50s. How about the 90% tax rate that the top tier paid during the Eisenhower(Republican) administration for starters. That would surely jump start a lot of infrastructure projects. But then again our corporate overlords wouldn’t get their million dollar bonuses and we absolutely need our tycoons happy or else they won’t create jobs for us peons. The Corporate States of America: for the corporation by the corporation, with liberty and justice for plutocrats.

robertsrobe — Supreme Court Justice John Roberts wears the new NASCAR inspired logo robes which will now be worn by all conservative justices.

The Great Compromiser

You’ve got to feel for President Obama. For the last three years, he’s reached across the aisle, bending over backwards trying to accommodate Republicans with deals that appeal to both sides, attempting to find a common middle ground and what does he get? A bunch of whiny, obstinate, partisan, GOP, crybabies acting like two year olds who won’t agree to anything he offers, because they’re being pressured from the supposedly “financially responsible” Teabaggers(who are being propped up by deep pocketed corporations), who apparently don’t have any memory that they supported the fiscal malfeasance of Obama’s predecessor, George W. Bush. (Gee, we don’t sound bitter do we?) While we here at the Bucket admire his attempts (and his patience), we think that sometimes you just have to slap the stubborn, sniveling brats upside the head and make them mind. Unfortunately, for Obama, his three years of bending over backwards has left him in an uncompromising position; not the best way to celebrate the big 5-0.

obamacompromiser — Three years of bending over backwards trying to compromise with whiny, partisan, GOP congressman has left President Obama in an uncompromising position.

Rep. Oompa Loompa

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, following the debacle of the debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week, addressed the American people late last night with a message of hope …for corporate America.

boehneroompaloompa — Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner tells the American people the GOP’s economic plan for America.

The Party of No, No, No

Some things never change. The debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week reminds me of a Pic of the Week photo-toon from February 6, 2009 at the beginning of Obama’s first term as President. You see, according to Republicans, the definition of bi-partisanship is doing exactly what they want. Of course, it looks like Obama, like every other Democrat except Alan Grayson and Al Franken, is going to do a submissive roll to these whiny, sucky crybabies.