This will be the last installment of our Dick Cheney retrospective because quite frankly we’re sick of him and we want him to go far away, like maybe Iraq. He’d be greeted with flowers there and he’d be downright giddy being around all that precious oil. So here is a photo-toon from our May 9, 2004 issue right after Dick and Dubya testified in a secret, off the record testimony before the 9/11 commission (you know the manure was flying in that meeting). We think this photo-toon succinctly captures the essence of the Bush presidency.
President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney performed their patented bamboozling act before the 9/11 Commission last week.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 11, 2007 issue. At that time, Afghanistan had set a record in opium production and that it had increased ever since the U.S. occupation started in 2001. Production has dropped since the all time high in 2007, but it is still higher than in was before the occupation. Here’s a link to a Wikipedia article about the subject. Well at least the occupation has been good for one business besides the defense industry.
Vice President Dick Cheney recently visited with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai and together they walked the Afghan poppy fields where opium production was up from 4100 tons in 2005 to a record 6100 tons in 2006.
Here’s another photo-toon from the March 1, 2006 issue. Remember, about the same time that Uncle Dick shot Harry Whittington, that pillar of honesty, Scooter Libby was giving testimony in his perjury, making false statements and obstruction of justice trial. Well there was quite a stir when Libby said the then Vice President authorized him to leak classified information in 2003 to bolster the case for the US-led war against Iraq. What a Dick! We knew right then and there who Uncle Dick’s new hunting partner would be.
After Scooter Libby’s recent testimony implicating Dick Cheney in the Valerie Plame leaks, the Vice President decided to take Libby on a hunting trip.
In our last post, we mentioned the infamous quail hunting incident on February 11, 2006, when then Vice President Dick Cheney shot an acquaintance, Harry Whittington, in the face, neck and chest with buckshot while trying to blast some birds into oblivion. Not only did Uncle Dick wait 18 hours to report the incident, he also never really apologized to Whittington, who suffered severe health problems from the shooting. But what really amazed us was that Whittington apologized to Cheney saying, “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week.” Wow! The guy gets shot in the face and he apologizes to the guy who shot him. Unbelievable! Some conservative Republicans are certainly sheep when it comes to authority figures. Here’s a link to an article about Whittington not receiving an apology. Here’s a Wikipedia link to the whole sordid hunting trip.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 1, 2006 issue. You’ll note that Uncle Dick resembles a certain character from Lord of the Rings. From February 2004 up until February 2009, we depicted Cheney as Gollum in our photo-toons. We got the idea when we were looking at one of the animations on Mark Fiore’s excellent site. He presented Cheney as a Gollum-like creature in a never ending pursuit of his ‘precious’ oil in Iraq. Brilliant! We know a good thing when we see it, so we also presented Cheney in a similar vein. Is it disrespectful? Yep! But then again look at the absolute mess Uncle Dick and Dubya left us after eight years in office. What a Dick!
Harry Whittington appears with Vice President Dick Cheney to show he’s fit as a fiddle and ready to grovel again.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney sure loves his guns. Remember, when he shot an acquaintance while quail hunting and didn’t apologize to the guy. What a Dick! We’ll have more photo-toons on that later this week.
Today, here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue. Just look at Dick’s face(it’s not photoshopped). It’s true love, folks! Maybe conservative Republicans will go for man-gun marriages.
Extreme über patriot and Fox News personality, Glenn Beck, who loves America more than all other Americans combined, gives former Vice-President Dick Cheney a voluptuous gun for the future conservative uprising in America.
Just when you thought it was safe, former Vice President Dick Cheney has emerged from his underground lair with a new tell all book about the Bush administration and (drumroll please)… nothing was Uncle Dick’s fault. The Dickster pretty much lays all the blame for everything that went wrong in Iraq on Condi Rice, Colin Powell and George Tenet and in typical Dick form, apologizes for nothing. He also praises Dubya as an outstanding leader. Well, we’ll just read the reviews of the book because we think the only thing Dick does well is spread the manure on thick and high.
So we’ve decided for the next few days, we’d repost some of the worst of Uncle Dick during his time in the Bush administration. We’ll start off with a link to an interview he did back in 1994 for a conservative think tank, American Enterprise Institute. He states in the interview that if George H.W. Bush had sent in troops to Baghdad in 1991 a quagmire would have resulted. Whaaaaaaaaaa!!! So, Cheney knew the Iraq War and Occupation would be a quagmire and yet he lied to the American people in 2003 by saying we’d be greeted as liberators. What a Dick!!
The evangelical christians have sure been showing their true ignorance lately with Pat Robertson and Michele Bachmann proclaiming that the east coast hurricanes and earthquakes are signs from God. Bachmann later recanted saying she was just jesting and that she has a fantastic sense of humor (well that statement made us howl with laughter). But what cracks us up here at the Bucket is religious conservatives’, especially GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry, insistence that evolution is “just a theory” and that creationism should be taught in school on an equal footing with evolution. Of course they ignore that the Bible is a first century book of mythology and has tons of holes in it but we guess that’s just what’s called ‘faith’. Even Pope John Paul II said that evolution was “more than just a hypothesis.” But we like Biologist Richard Dawkins’ response to Rick Perry the best. Here’s the link.
Here’s one of our favorite photo-toons from our June 2, 2007 issue commemorating the opening of that bastion of ‘intelligent design’, the Creation Museum.
The Creation Museum, based on the teachings of the book of Genesis in the Bible, opened recently in Petersburg, Kentucky and contains such thought provoking, scientifically accurate displays as this one which depicts humans and dinosaurs co-existing peacefully in a sun-kissed, peachy keen world.
GOP Presidential candidates Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry have emerged as front runners in the Republican race. Both candidates are fervent evangelical christians, claim to have an intimate relationship with God, and are very popular with the Republican base, which consists of scores of evangelical christians. Preachers like James Dobson, Pat Robertson and all those PTL preachers on TBN sure do rake in a lot of money. Isn’t it funny that all the preachers on television are impeccably dressed and can afford to build theme parks, finance movies and creationism museums. But just like many corporations, churches don’t pay taxes. What a convenient, lucrative loophole! We think that in order to participate in the political process, you should at least pay taxes. And then there’s the prosperity gospel. Prosperity theology teaches that a combination of faith, positive speech, and donations to christian ministries(of course) will always cause an increase in material wealth…material wealth for the preachers that is. According to the little known Book of Profits, the churches can fleece their flocks with Jesus’ blessing. What makes this even more preposterous is that the biblical Jesus was pretty much a socialist and these hypocrites worship him as their lord and savior. Well, I guess if Bachmann and Perry make it to the White House (Zeus help us all!), at least they’ll have Americans ready for the Rapture. Hallelujah!
Here’s an old Pic O’ The Week photo-toon from our November 16, 2008 issue that addresses the teachings of capitalist Jesus.
Some conservative christian Republicans have lately been touting the little known capitalist teachings of Jesus.
Republican Presidential candidate Mitt(or Spiff, as we at the Bucket call him) Romney was heckled, jeered and hooted at in Iowa the other day when he said in a speech that ‘corporations are people’. We applaud this fine gesture but we think, since there are many farms in the Hawkeye state, the people should have also heaved some manure at the ol’ Spiffster.
Speaking of heaving crap, in 2010, the Supreme Court said basically that ‘corporations are people, too’ when they ruled that corporations should not be limited in the amount of money they can contribute to political campaigns. So this means that corporate America can use their immense wealth to greatly influence elections so that lackeys(Teabaggers anyone?) who support their agenda(tax cuts anyone?) will get elected. This kind of government is called a plutarchy, which is a combination of plutocracy and an oligarchy. And a plutarchy pretty much means the average citizen is royally screwed.
Depending on your source, it’s estimated that 50-60% of corporations pay no income taxes. In 2009, companies like GE, Bank of America, Citigroup and Valero paid no income taxes whatsoever while making billions of dollars in profits. Now that’s patriotism! So much for that saying ‘with great power comes great responsibility’. Well, we say if ‘corporations are people, too’ then they can start paying more taxes. Teabaggers keep blathering about returning to the good ol’ days of the ’50s. How about the 90% tax rate that the top tier paid during the Eisenhower(Republican) administration for starters. That would surely jump start a lot of infrastructure projects. But then again our corporate overlords wouldn’t get their million dollar bonuses and we absolutely need our tycoons happy or else they won’t create jobs for us peons. The Corporate States of America: for the corporation by the corporation, with liberty and justice for plutocrats.
Supreme Court Justice John Roberts wears the new NASCAR inspired logo robes which will now be worn by all conservative justices.
Some things never change. The debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week reminds me of a Pic of the Week photo-toon from February 6, 2009 at the beginning of Obama’s first term as President. You see, according to Republicans, the definition of bi-partisanship is doing exactly what they want. Of course, it looks like Obama, like every other Democrat except Alan Grayson and Al Franken, is going to do a submissive roll to these whiny, sucky crybabies.
Whiny, sucky, ‘bipartisan’ GOP congressmen and senators do what they do best.
