This will be the last installment of our Dick Cheney retrospective because quite frankly we’re sick of him and we want him to go far away, like maybe Iraq. He’d be greeted with flowers there and he’d be downright giddy being around all that precious oil. So here is a photo-toon from our May 9, 2004 issue right after Dick and Dubya testified in a secret, off the record testimony before the 9/11 commission (you know the manure was flying in that meeting). We think this photo-toon succinctly captures the essence of the Bush presidency.
President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney performed their patented bamboozling act before the 9/11 Commission last week.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 11, 2007 issue. At that time, Afghanistan had set a record in opium production and that it had increased ever since the U.S. occupation started in 2001. Production has dropped since the all time high in 2007, but it is still higher than in was before the occupation. Here’s a link to a Wikipedia article about the subject. Well at least the occupation has been good for one business besides the defense industry.
Vice President Dick Cheney recently visited with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai and together they walked the Afghan poppy fields where opium production was up from 4100 tons in 2005 to a record 6100 tons in 2006.
Here’s another photo-toon from the March 1, 2006 issue. Remember, about the same time that Uncle Dick shot Harry Whittington, that pillar of honesty, Scooter Libby was giving testimony in his perjury, making false statements and obstruction of justice trial. Well there was quite a stir when Libby said the then Vice President authorized him to leak classified information in 2003 to bolster the case for the US-led war against Iraq. What a Dick! We knew right then and there who Uncle Dick’s new hunting partner would be.
After Scooter Libby’s recent testimony implicating Dick Cheney in the Valerie Plame leaks, the Vice President decided to take Libby on a hunting trip.
In our last post, we mentioned the infamous quail hunting incident on February 11, 2006, when then Vice President Dick Cheney shot an acquaintance, Harry Whittington, in the face, neck and chest with buckshot while trying to blast some birds into oblivion. Not only did Uncle Dick wait 18 hours to report the incident, he also never really apologized to Whittington, who suffered severe health problems from the shooting. But what really amazed us was that Whittington apologized to Cheney saying, “My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week.” Wow! The guy gets shot in the face and he apologizes to the guy who shot him. Unbelievable! Some conservative Republicans are certainly sheep when it comes to authority figures. Here’s a link to an article about Whittington not receiving an apology. Here’s a Wikipedia link to the whole sordid hunting trip.
Here’s a photo-toon from our March 1, 2006 issue. You’ll note that Uncle Dick resembles a certain character from Lord of the Rings. From February 2004 up until February 2009, we depicted Cheney as Gollum in our photo-toons. We got the idea when we were looking at one of the animations on Mark Fiore’s excellent site. He presented Cheney as a Gollum-like creature in a never ending pursuit of his ‘precious’ oil in Iraq. Brilliant! We know a good thing when we see it, so we also presented Cheney in a similar vein. Is it disrespectful? Yep! But then again look at the absolute mess Uncle Dick and Dubya left us after eight years in office. What a Dick!
Harry Whittington appears with Vice President Dick Cheney to show he’s fit as a fiddle and ready to grovel again.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney sure loves his guns. Remember, when he shot an acquaintance while quail hunting and didn’t apologize to the guy. What a Dick! We’ll have more photo-toons on that later this week.
Today, here’s a photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue. Just look at Dick’s face(it’s not photoshopped). It’s true love, folks! Maybe conservative Republicans will go for man-gun marriages.
Extreme über patriot and Fox News personality, Glenn Beck, who loves America more than all other Americans combined, gives former Vice-President Dick Cheney a voluptuous gun for the future conservative uprising in America.
President Obama sure is making it difficult for his supporters to maintain confidence in him. Just this past week, he postponed his jobs speech to satisfy a few GOP whiners and caved into industry and their Republican lackeys by withdrawing support for EPA supported regulations, which would have tightened pollution controls (breathing clean air is overrated anyway, right). He’s also considering capitulating to Big Oil and supporting the Tar Sands Keystone XL Pipeline, which would bring oil from Canada down through the central plains of United States to Texas to be refined (let the oil addiction continue). Not exactly the environmentally friendly, alternative energy boosting person he portrayed himself to be. At this rate, Obama may have to pull an LBJ and announce that he will not seek re-election for a second term. But then again, look at the leading GOP candidates. Yep! The 2012 election will be one titanic joke.
President Obama, like many of his fellow Democrats, seems to be regressing into an invertebrate.
The evangelical christians have sure been showing their true ignorance lately with Pat Robertson and Michele Bachmann proclaiming that the east coast hurricanes and earthquakes are signs from God. Bachmann later recanted saying she was just jesting and that she has a fantastic sense of humor (well that statement made us howl with laughter). But what cracks us up here at the Bucket is religious conservatives’, especially GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry, insistence that evolution is “just a theory” and that creationism should be taught in school on an equal footing with evolution. Of course they ignore that the Bible is a first century book of mythology and has tons of holes in it but we guess that’s just what’s called ‘faith’. Even Pope John Paul II said that evolution was “more than just a hypothesis.” But we like Biologist Richard Dawkins’ response to Rick Perry the best. Here’s the link.
Here’s one of our favorite photo-toons from our June 2, 2007 issue commemorating the opening of that bastion of ‘intelligent design’, the Creation Museum.
The Creation Museum, based on the teachings of the book of Genesis in the Bible, opened recently in Petersburg, Kentucky and contains such thought provoking, scientifically accurate displays as this one which depicts humans and dinosaurs co-existing peacefully in a sun-kissed, peachy keen world.
The world is abuzz with the downfall of longtime Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi. Today, rebel forces stumbled across a photo album in Gaddafi’s Bab al-Aziziya compound in Tripoli of Condoleezza Rice. Apparently, the Libyan strongman was quite fond of the former Bush Secretary of State. In a 2007 interview with Al Jazeera, Gaddafi said of Rice, “I support my darling, black African woman. … I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. … I love her very much. I admire her, and I’m proud of her because she’s a black woman of African origin.” Yeesh! That’s creepier than Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.
Actually, we at the Bucket have known for a long time, Condoleezza Rice’s power over men. Here’s a photo-toon from our August 11, 2006 issue.
After failing to secure peace in the Middle East, Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, reveals her new diplomatic tactic in dealing with foreign leaders, especially males.
It’s August and like the weather, the pennant races are heating up. Surprisingly, the Arizona Diamondbacks are in first place in the National League West. We applaud this plucky team, especially hard nosed manager Kirk Gibson. This was a group of slackers who, thanks to Gibson’s guidance, have decided to compete this summer. But we were reading an article in the local online rag, that since they were doing so well, the players expected more people to be attending the games. Attendance has been pretty mediocre for a first place team and some players and front office types were expressing disappointment that more people weren’t attending games. Are athletes and execs that far removed from the sufferings of average citizens? It’s not that people don’t want to come. It’s because they can’t afford to come. This is a bad economy. People are struggling just to pay their bills and keep their houses. And the seats at Chase Field are not cheap. Let’s say a family of four wants to attend a game and sit in seats close to the field down the third base line in left field. The tickets alone will cost over $100 dollars. And then there’s the concessions. A hot dog and coke will run you $10. If you include parking expenses, a day at the ol’ ball game will probably end up costing the family close to $200. Not quite like the good ol’ days. Oh well. On second thought, who are we to interfere with conventional wisdom and people’s priorities. So, go ahead and skip making your mortgage payment, paying your electric bill or eating and get out there and support your local millionaires! Maybe they’ll get a clue.
Sports fans will sacrifice anything in order to support their local millionaires.
What’s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell…all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That’s why we’re teaming with SKYMart, America’s favorite in-flight crap merchant shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!
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