Archive for November 9, 2011

It Was This Big

Con-a-thon 2012 Republican front runner, Herman Cain, author of plan 999 from outer space, has had a bad couple weeks. Several women have come forward with allegations of sexual harassment by the former pizza magnate. Of course, Cain, Boss Limhogg and all the GOP blowhards from Fox News have not only denied all charges but have launched attacks against the victims. Did he sexually harass these women? We don’t know, but it sure is interesting watching Mr. Cain come up with explanations.

GOP candidate Herman Cain announces that a recent allegation of sexual harassment was just a misunderstanding and that he was just explaining to one of his many female admirers how he once made a pizza at a Republican fundraiser.

 

Joaquin Phoenix’s Next Mockumentary

Remember back in 2008 when actor Joaquin Phoenix appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman apparently whacked out of his gourd and announced that he was retiring from acting and becoming a rapper? It turns out, the joke was on us as he was just playing the part for a mockumentary he was making with Casey Affleck called I’m Still Here. Well, here’s a photo-toon we did in our March 7, 2009 issue which presents the topic for Mr. Phoenix’s next mockumentary.

Actor/Rapper Joaquin Phoenix has decided on yet another new career direction: the as yet unexplored field of rap polka.

Shows Tonight on The Mini Golf Channel

There are tons of obscure television channels available on cable and satellite dishes.  We’ve had a listing for the Golf Channel. Well, here’s a listing for the Mini Golf Channel.

Shows Tonight on The Mini Golf Channel

7:00pm Ball Color: Does It Matter?
7:30pm Mini-Golf Fashions: The Ubiquitous Tam O’Shanter
8:00pm Floyd Webber’s Putting Tips: Navigating the Windmill
8:30pm America’s Best Courses: Cuzin’ Jed’s Hillbilly Village, Dogpatch USA
9:00pm Great Moments in Mini-Golf: The 1973 Putt-Putt Championships
9:30pm It’s All in The Wrist : Exercises For That Smooth Stroking Action

More Celebrity Look-a-likes

More celebrity look-a-likes, this is from our January 31, 2007 issue.

A favorite feature nowadays in many papers across the country is one presenting local citizens who claim that they look like well known celebrities. Well we here at the Bucket know a lame-ass idea when we see it. We’ve asked residents of Cactus Corners, Arizona which celebrity they resemble. The results will astound you!

WARNING – You’re not seeing double folks!

Richard Munch: People are always telling me that from a distance, oh let’s say about a mile away, I look just like George Clooney.
Britney Spears: I love to visit Cactus Corners and when I do, people are constantly coming up to me and saying that I look exactly like Britney Spears.Wait a second…I am Britney Spears! Like, Duhhhhh!
Craig Lowenstein: The girls I hit on at the dance clubs say I look like some guy named Quasimodo. From the way they run away from me screaming, I’m guessing that’s a bad thing.
Koji Nakayama: I live in an all-white subdivision and all my neighbors keep calling me Kim Jong Il because they think I look like him; you know, I’m Asian and I wear glasses. I’m not even Korean, I’m Japanese, you friggin’ morons!!