Tag Archive for headlines

Headlines Circa Aught 5

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve switched to the year 2005. Oh, the memories!

Bush Nominates McGruff The Crime Dog New Homeland Security Chief
50 Cent CD On Sale For A Dollar
Sesame Street Promotes Healthy Diets: Cookie Monster Now Known As Fiber Monster
In Retrospect, Rutabaga Festival Was Lame-Ass Idea
Oil Prices Up – No, Down – No, Back Up Again

Still More From Oh-Four

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are still more from that fantabulous year of 2004. Again, no groaning, please.

Cheney Admitted To Hospital: Gets Oil Transfusion
Local Volleyball Player Digs Balls
Fox Insists You Find Arrested Development Hilarious
Stripper Complains Men Keep Ogling Her
Ashcroft’s Pants Catch On Fire During 9/11 Commission Testimony

More From Oh-Four

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from 2004.

Local Worrywart Worries About Worrying Too Much
Bush Gives ‘Nucular’ Industry Glowing Report
Gibson Planning Sequel – Passion II: Jesus Christ Beyond Thunderdome
The Bachelorette To Marry In June, Divorce In August
Bush Sez “Marriages Shouldn’t Be Gay, They Should Be Miserable”

Aught 4 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some from that funtastic year that was 2004.

Critics Crucify Gibson’s Passion Film
Serial Killer Comic Slays Audience
Mars Rover Finds Roseanne’s Career
C-SPAN To Add Laugh Track
Local Man’s Nostrils Declared National Forest

More Aught 3 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from that fabulous year of 2003.

Bald Guy Sick Of Mr. Clean References
Bonds Pulls Up A Seat To Watch His Home Run
Limbaugh Admits He Took Oxycontin But Didn’t Swallow
Dateless Wonder Contemplates Other Species
Schwarzenegger Groping For Answers, Breasts

Headlines Revisited

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

From 2003 to 2009, we featured many great headlines in our webzine. We’ve already posted many in our Headlines category. Here are a few more we’ve dug up from the year 2003.

Self Absorbed Actress Smitten By Self Absorbed Actor
Dr. Phil Loses It: Advises Couple To Kill Each Other
Loser Laments Being Hated: Vows To Eat Some Worms
Scientists Clone A Horse, Of Course, Of Course
Iraq News: Ba’ath Party Out, Shower Party In

More Aught 5 Headlines

More headlines from aught 5. No groaning, please.

Martha Stewart Released From Prison: Terror Alert Raised To Red
Local Couple Vacations In Des Moines: Sez “We’ve Been Craving Boredom”
Lil’ Kim To Do A Lil’ Time
Chicken Rancher Crows About Prize Winning Cock
Bush Enlists Shark Boy and Lava Girl To Fight Terrorists

Aught 5 Headlines

More headlines, this time from ’05 (or aught 5 as us grizzled old desert rats say).

Aniston, Pitt Split: Life As We Know It Likely Over
Meaning Of Life Revealed In Ashlee Simpson Song
Bush Proposes $80 Gazillion More Dollars For Iraq: Vows To Remove Troops By 22nd Century
Rumsfeld Launches New Fragrance: Rummy
MLB’s Angels Rename Team: Now Called The Amazing Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Located In The Trendy California County Of Orange In The Awesome Country Of The United States Of America

Headlines, Get Your Headlines

More headlines from that glorious year 2004.

New Clinton Library Has Smokin’ Hot Adult Section
BilgeBucket Gazette Predicts Nader Landslide
Local Tabby Gets Cat Scan
Intelligence Is Major Concern For Bush
Dan Quayle Endorses Bush: Sez “He’s Smarte!”

Headline Hit Parade

Continuing with the headline hit parade from 2004.

Bush’s Solution For Rising Healthcare Costs: Don’t Get Sick
Goodfellas Cast Reunites For Nostalgic Dinner And Whacking
Gambling Vampire Dreads High Stakes Poker
Local Nerd Spends Weekend Playing With Palm
Cheney Jealous Of Trump Nickname: Wants To Be Called ‘The Dick’