Tag Archive for headlines

More Headline Schticks from Oh-Six

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

We’ve still got more headlines from 2006, so here they are. No crying please.

Bird Flu Hits Turkey: Canary Islands Feared Next
Libby Sez “Bush Has Been Leaking Intelligence For Years”
Bush Admits To Leaking: Now Using Extra Absorbent Depends
Tourism News: Saudis Promote Sun, Scuba Diving, Easy Terrorist Financing
Lindsay Lohan Wants To Marry By 30, Divorce By 31
Dyslexic Atheist Doesn’t Believe In Dog
Brits Reject Right-To-Die Bill: “Everyone Must Die An Excruciating Painful Death”
Hot Dog Eating Contest Winner Shockingly Not Getting Babes

Still More Aught 6 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Did somebody say more headlines from 2006? Well, here they are whether you want ’em or not.

Pope Benedict Celebrates Mass With Cardinals: Bluejays, Robins Jilted
Brangelina To Adopt All African Children: Eyeing Asian Children Next Year
Madonna Adopts Brangelina
Grizzly Crime Scene Discovered: Picnic Goodies Ravenously Devoured
Recent Poll Reveals America’s Most Urgent Need – More Tori Spelling Movies
Goth Chick Dressed To Depress
Carrier Named For George H.W. Bush: Dinghy Named For Dubya
Supernanny Loses It: Takes Hickory Switch To Entire Family

More Aught 6 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here’s even more knee-slapping headlines from 2006.

Local Kid Performs Trick While Mom Isn’t Looking: Repetition Looming
Couric Named CBS News Anchor: Promises Perkier News By 2007
No Stiff Penalties For Limbaugh On Viagra Possession
Doctors Discover Living Leads To Death
WMD Update: North Korea, Iran Looking To Obtain Taco Bell Burrito Supreme
Kissinger On Iraq: “It’s Not Vietnammy Enough Yet”
Physics News: Cats Crazy About String Theory
Socialite Buys $1000 Designer Shoes: Maintains Illusion Of Superiority

Aught 6 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve switched to our most prolific year, 2006. Therefore, lucky for you, we’ve increased our number of entries, some which are actually funny . . . really . . . no fooling!

Tom Jones Knighted With Queen’s Underpants
Scientists Reveal Urkel Annoyance Factor Increases Exponentially With Time
Strange ‘Watery’ Substance Falls From Sky In Phoenix Area
Apathetic Teen Wins Cell Phone: Gets 1000 ‘Whatever’ Minutes
Mike Wallace Retires: Plans In-Depth Investigation Of Strip Clubs
Bush Vexed By Iraq, Middle East, Ball Of String
Limbaugh Sez Michael J. Fox Faking Parkinsons: Fox Sez Limbaugh Faking Cognizance
Guy Wearing Stethoscope Around Neck Must Be Doctor

More Headline Jive From Oh-Five

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve got more jive from 2005!

Local Bachelor’s Vacuum Sucks
O’Reilly Declares Victory In ‘War On Christmas’: Decorates Self With Tinsel
Gay Butcher Prefers Bone-in Chuck
Pope John Paul II’s Soul Gets Diverted To Cleveland
Americans Agree: Omarosa’s Fifteen Minutes Are Up

Headlines Circa Aught 5

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, we’ve switched to the year 2005. Oh, the memories!

Bush Nominates McGruff The Crime Dog New Homeland Security Chief
50 Cent CD On Sale For A Dollar
Sesame Street Promotes Healthy Diets: Cookie Monster Now Known As Fiber Monster
In Retrospect, Rutabaga Festival Was Lame-Ass Idea
Oil Prices Up – No, Down – No, Back Up Again

Still More From Oh-Four

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are still more from that fantabulous year of 2004. Again, no groaning, please.

Cheney Admitted To Hospital: Gets Oil Transfusion
Local Volleyball Player Digs Balls
Fox Insists You Find Arrested Development Hilarious
Stripper Complains Men Keep Ogling Her
Ashcroft’s Pants Catch On Fire During 9/11 Commission Testimony

More From Oh-Four

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from 2004.

Local Worrywart Worries About Worrying Too Much
Bush Gives ‘Nucular’ Industry Glowing Report
Gibson Planning Sequel – Passion II: Jesus Christ Beyond Thunderdome
The Bachelorette To Marry In June, Divorce In August
Bush Sez “Marriages Shouldn’t Be Gay, They Should Be Miserable”

Aught 4 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some from that funtastic year that was 2004.

Critics Crucify Gibson’s Passion Film
Serial Killer Comic Slays Audience
Mars Rover Finds Roseanne’s Career
C-SPAN To Add Laugh Track
Local Man’s Nostrils Declared National Forest

More Aught 3 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from that fabulous year of 2003.

Bald Guy Sick Of Mr. Clean References
Bonds Pulls Up A Seat To Watch His Home Run
Limbaugh Admits He Took Oxycontin But Didn’t Swallow
Dateless Wonder Contemplates Other Species
Schwarzenegger Groping For Answers, Breasts