The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners, Arizona area. The BilgeBucket Gazette’s own Dex Rexter is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

• Thursday, July 12th – Mime Lessons at Monsieur Pepe’s Mime School in the Cactus Corners Mall. Best ‘Trapped in a Box’ impression, gets free mime makeup kit.
• Saturday, July 14th – ‘In Your Face’ Volleyball night at Uncle Jeb’s Sand Volleyball Emporium on Western and Prospector Way. First one to spike one off Dale Carlson’s head gets a free plate of nachos; knock him out and get a free pitcher of beer. Fifty dollar gift certificate from The Gun Bin for player with the most kill shots for the night.
• Monday, July 16th – Euchre Night at Fran Miller’s house. We’ll be spending the night finding out what the hell Euchre is while drinking gallons of margaritas.
• Tuesday, July 17th – Gardening Night at Phyllis Martin’s house. We’ll gather together and discuss our favorite desert plants like Agave schotti, Sphaeralcea ambigua and Mammillaria grahamii. We’ll also be drinking leftover margaritas from Euchre Night.
  
• Saturday, July 21st – Picnic at Burro Thief Bend Park near Wikieup. If you haven’t been to Wikieup, you haven’t lived! We’ll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches under the blazing sun at one of the quaint, uncovered, termite infested, picnic tables at Suicide Point. There are no outhouses so bring your own bucket. This area is also home to many types of wildlife; wild burros, scorpions and the extremely poisonous Mojave rattler. Don’t explore too much because the van returns to Phoenix promptly at 5:30pm; so if you miss it, you’re on your own.
  
• Wednesday, July 25th – Adult Toy Party at Dale Carlson’s house hosted by Gigi Gozongas from Captain Caboom’s Sex Emporium. This former stripper gives us the low down on all the latest sexual devices for making the boudoir a spicier place. Door prizes include a XL13 Supra-Vibrator, velvet lined handcuffs and a years supply of Übergliden, Germany’s miracle lubricant. First ten attendees win a free body condom.
• Friday, July 27th –CCAW RAW Night at Cactus Corners Memorial Arena. Get up close and personal with Cactus Corner’s answer to the WWE, the CCAW (Cactus Corners Association of Wrestling). Rub elbows with local favorites like The Gila Monster, Dr. W.A.S.P., El Cholo Gordo and perennial doormat, Larry the Masturbating Hobo. We’re sitting in the front rows, so make sure your insurance covers getting squashed by wrestlers. Tickets are only $89.95. No wagering, please.
  
• Sunday, July 29th – Outing planned at Guano Grande Caverns near Benson. We’ll explore the latest natural cave discovered in Arizona and opened to an unsuspecting public. These dark, unstable caverns are home to all kinds of bats including vampire bats. We’ll be hiking through dimly lit, narrow passages with loose rock all around us. Bring a hat because the bats will be dropping guano on us like rain.