The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners, Arizona area. The BilgeBucket Gazette’s own Dex Rexter is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

• Thursday, March 8th – Cut Each Others Toenails Night at Phyllis Boyle’s house. Delores Romanowski recommends the Tweezerman SPA Deluxe clipper for best results.
• Saturday, March 10th – Polka Night at Larry’s Dinner Barn in Apache Junction. Appropriate dress required. Lederhosen is available for sale or rent at Oskar’s Accordion Depot.
• Monday, March 12th – Yahtzee Night at Frank Brinkman’s house. BYOB and bring lots of it! Trust us; you’ll need it.
• Wednesday, March 14th – Skateboard Night at Cactus Corners Mall Skatepark. Over 65 skateboard champ Thelma Clausen will demonstrate proper skateboarding techniques including ollies, kick-flips and frontside 180s.
  
• Friday, March 16th – Theater Night at Exit Stage Left Theater in Cactus Sweat Strip Mall. Now playing, “Judge Judy: The Musical”, starring Mistee DuBois as Judge Judy. Admission is $40 for adults, $39 for students, and $38 for senior citizens.
  
• Sunday, March 18th – Road trip to abandoned gold mine in Skull Valley. We’ll attempt to climb down the rickety, unstable, old mine shaft and search for gold. Bring your picks.
  
• Tuesday, March 20th – Cooking With Spam Night at Sarah Milton’s house. Sarah goes over her favorite recipes for cooking meals with Spam: everything from delicious Spam omelettes to mouth-watering Spam cupcakes. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!!! Bring your pen and paper. You’ll want to jot these down.
• Thursday, March 22th – Shuffleboard at Cactus Gallows Retirement Home. Elmer Scoggins demonstrates proper stick manipulation techniques.
  
• Saturday, March 24th – Swinging at Nutcracker’s Social Club on Phoenix’s West Side. Wear some bling and bring your swing! Special fun rooms include a dungeon, a doctor’s office, and a congressional chamber. Admission is $75. Check with club personnel prior to arrival for appropriate gang signs to flash for entrance. Firearms are recommended. If you know what’s good for you, don’t stare at the midget!