If you’ve lived in Arizona for any length of time, you remember very well when, year in and year out, you could count on one thing: the Arizona/Phoenix Cardinals sucking big time. Thankfully for Arizona football fans, Ken Whisenhunt and Larry Fitzgerald (the best receiver on planet Earth) arrived and the Cardinals are competitive and have a chance of winning each game. They even were a couple minutes away from winning it all in the 2008-2009 season when Kurt Warner was quarterback.
But before Kurt Warner took charge at QB, the Cardinals were just plain bad. Every year started out promising and would abruptly go downhill quicker than a runaway 18-wheeler on I-17 at Black Canyon City. Here’s an article from our January 30, 2005 issue, when the upcoming season had so much promise and the Cardinals management teased fans with visions of national accolades, Lombardi trophies and a fierce new logo.
New Cardinals Logo Should Improve Team Dramatically
The Arizona Cardinals revealed a new logo this week according to team officials. The updated logo features a much more fierce looking bird than the previous one which debuted on helmets in 1960, when the franchise was located in St. Louis.
“This new logo is just what the franchise needs,” said team vice president Mike Bidwell. “Now when opposing teams look at our helmets, they won’t see a meek, mild mannered cardinal looking back at them. They’ll see a mean, fierce cardinal looking back at them. I know I wouldn’t want to tangle with a cardinal that mean.”
Coach Dennis Green was very positive about the new, ferocious cardinal. “There is no doubt, that is why we didn’t have a winning season last year. Our logo cost us games. This new logo will allow us to have our first winning season since 1997-98. Hell, we may even go to the Super Bowl because of this logo.”
Players were also very enthusiastic about the change. Defensive end Bertrand Berry will wear the new logo on his helmet during the upcoming pro bowl, February 13th. “When Willie Roaf sees this nasty ass cardinal looking at him, he’ll go crying home to his mommy.”
Quarterback Josh McCown said, “I’ll feel so much more confident next year with this new furious looking cardinal on my helmet. That’s why I struggled last year with my passing. I was so self-conscious about the timid looking cardinal on my helmet. I’d fade back in the pocket and look for a receiver and I started thinking about how mediocre and unimpressive I must look. Then the next thing you know, I’m getting sacked. No more next year. This bird is going to fly!”
Fans had mixed reactions about the updated bird. Mike Dankowski of Gilbert said dubiously, “Criminy sakes! There is no way anybody is going to be afraid of a stinking cardinal, I don’t care how mean he looks. If they want to get something nasty they should change the mascot to something that’s mean and has something to do with Arizona. Something like Scorpions, or Outlaws, or Wranglers. Geez, I’ve seen two cardinals since I moved here twenty years ago. Bidwell, get a clue!”
Jolene Reed of Glendale, said, “Oh my! It’s such an improvement! This cardinal means business. It’s saying, ‘I’m taking no prisoners!’ I’m going to love watching the new Cardinals hit some homers and hoop some scores with this logo on their helmet.”