The Wide World of $ports

The biggest sporting event in America occurs this weekend when the New England Patriots meet the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLVI. What a perfect time to reflect on the BS which is professional sports. We’re presenting archived articles all this week which celebrate the follies of the pro sporting world and the people who cover it. Besides we need a break from all the political BS happening now in Con-a-thon 2012. Does anybody really care about the Republican debates or primaries any more? We support Newt Gingrich’s moon base if we can put all the Republican candidates there forever.

Speaking of the New England Patriots, here’s an article from our February 13, 2005 issue, right after Super Bowl XXXIX. Amazingly, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson are stillshoveling it…broadcasting every Sunday on the NFL on Fox. Thank goodness for the mute button.

Fox Sportscasters Agree: Patriots Are A ‘Dynasty’

Last week, the New England Patriots captured their third Super Bowl in four years by beating the Philadelphia Eagles 24-21 in Super Bowl XXXIX in Jacksonville, Florida. Almost 86 million people tuned into watch as the Fox Sportscasting team of James Brown, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson discussed the Patriots victory.

Bradshaw declared forcefully, “There is no doubt that the Patriots are a ‘Dynasty’. Look, they’ve won three out of the last four Super Bowls. To me that says ‘Dynasty’ and I’m not talking about the 1980’s T.V. show.”

“Uh-huh,” agreed Brown.

“No question about it,” said Long. “Anytime a team can win back to back Super Bowls, you have to start talking ‘Dynasty’. I mean Jimmy knows all about dynasties because he had the last ‘Dynasty’ back in the ’90s with the Cowboys. You won three out of four Super Bowls from ’92 to ’96. That is a ‘Dynasty’.”

“Yes we did,” said Johnson. “And yes this is a ‘Dynasty’, no doubt about it. The Patriots have won three out of the last four Super Bowls. If there was any doubt before this Super Bowl, there shouldn’t be any now. The Patriots are the new ‘Dynasty’ in the NFL.”

“Uh-huh,” agreed Brown.

“Now don’t forget my ‘Dynasty’ back in the ’70s with the Pittsburgh Steelers,” said Bradshaw. “We won four Super Bowls in six years. We were a ‘Mega-Dynasty’. But I’d definitely have to say the Patriots have a good chance of beating that because they are the new NFL ‘Dynasty’. I mean they’ve won three out of the last four Super Bowls.”

“Absolutely,” said Johnson. “They are a ‘Dynasty’. And they have a chance to be a ‘Mega-Dynasty’. They’re off to a great start with three Super Bowl wins in the last four years.”

“Uh-huh,” agreed Brown.

“Yes, they are definitely the first ‘Dynasty’ of the new millennium,” said Long.

“Absolutely!” said Bradshaw. “They are the new millennium’s first NFL ‘Dynasty’.”

“No doubt about it,” said Johnson. “Three Super Bowl victories in four years. They are a ‘Dynasty’.”

By this time most of the 86 million viewers had turned the channel to watch the special Super Bowl Edition of the Antique Road Show.


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