Hamlacher Schmamlacher Personal Nuclear Reactor

A SKYMart product from our May 31, 2006 issue:

What’s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell…all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That’s why we’re teaming with SKYMart, America’s favorite in-flight crap merchant shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!

Impress your friends with the ultimate in alternative energy chic. Yes, your personal nuclear reactor is a great conversation piece and will add a certain glow to your living room. These mini power plants come in three fantastic styles, Three Mile Island (shown), Chernobyl, and Diablo Canyon. And don’t worry about the dangerous, radioactive byproducts. Just place it in our stylish lead lined waste sacks, toss it in the garbage and it’s not your problem any more. Be the first on your block with a nuclear reactor from the leader in trendsetting fads, Hamlacher Schmamlacher. Sale Price: $1.2 billion Usually ships in three to four weeks. Locations in the Middle East and Asia may take longer.

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