More headlines from aught 5. No groaning, please.
| Martha Stewart Released From Prison: Terror Alert Raised To Red |
| Local Couple Vacations In Des Moines: Sez “We’ve Been Craving Boredom” |
| Lil’ Kim To Do A Lil’ Time |
| Chicken Rancher Crows About Prize Winning Cock |
| Bush Enlists Shark Boy and Lava Girl To Fight Terrorists |