Have you ever been sitting in the airport and wanted your head massaged? You just can’t ask a stranger to rub his fingers over your noggin: just think of the germs, GROSS! Well, now you can get that much needed relief with the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from the leader in trendy, superfluous health products, Gypstone. Just place the chic looking, form fitting helmet on your head, tighten the lug nuts for a snug fit and relax. Feel the soothing, gyrating, molded plastic buffers rasp over your scalp, as Gypstone’s patented computerized, Massago-motors gently rattle your skull into incoherence. And the best thing is that it’s mobile. You can wear it anywhere: at the store, at the movies, at the bullfights, at the sumo-wrestling matches, driving the car, flying a plane, commanding a submarine or even making out. And since it’s so great looking, members of the opposite sex will find you completely irresistible. It even comes in two colors: Navy Blue and Flamingo Pink. So get ahead of the Joneses and purchase the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from Gypstone. Sale Price: $25,000. This product may result in dizziness, nausea, and general befuddlement.