{"id":508,"date":"2011-09-25T01:33:30","date_gmt":"2011-09-25T08:33:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=508"},"modified":"2011-09-29T23:45:02","modified_gmt":"2011-09-30T06:45:02","slug":"dr-phil%e2%80%99s-top-ways-to-improve-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=508","title":{"rendered":"Dr. Phil\u2019s Top Ways To Improve Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a BilgeBucket List from April 26, 2006.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Phil McGraw has taken television and America by storm. Thanks to his exposure on <em>The Oprah Winfrey Show<\/em>, he was given his own television show in 2002. He\u2019s even appeared in that crowd pleasing movie, <em>Scary Movie 4<\/em>. Every afternoon, Dr. Phil offers folksy advice for living to troubled, depressed, and gullible viewers. He\u2019s also written several books offering common sense counseling to the confused masses. We\u2019ve read up on Dr. Phil\u2019s pearls of wisdom over the years and we\u2019ve come up with a list of his top no nonsense ways to improve your life.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>To live you have to breathe air <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Get your turkey out of the oven or it\u2019s going to get burnt <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>If you stub your toe, don\u2019t amputate your foot <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>People do what they got to do <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Life is shit when you really look at it (Ooops&#8230;Sorry that\u2019s Monty Python) <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Don\u2019t gorge yourself on Cheezits when you can fill yourself up with Cool Ranch Doritos <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Don\u2019t pull out until you are completely finished <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Remember what the dormouse said: \u201cFeed your head\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em><\/em><em>Do or do not; there is no try (Ooops&#8230;Sorry that\u2019s Yoda) <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Dream big but not too big; you don\u2019t want do better than ol\u2019 Dr. Phil now do you? DO YOU?!!! <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Don\u2019t manage your life; live it <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>You can\u2019t just live your life; you\u2019ve got to manage it <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>You\u2019re hopeless; just buy my books<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>You\u2019re not hopeless; just buy my books<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war (Ooops&#8230;Sorry that\u2019s Donald Rumsfeld)<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>If you can con Oprah into thinking you know something, start pricing solid gold houses<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>There\u2019s a stupid clich\u00e9 for every situation; memorize them and use them every chance you get<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li>\u00a0<em><strong>If you haven\u2019t watched my television show, you can\u2019t possibly be happy yet<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Nothing is your fault; it\u2019s all Bill Clinton\u2019s fault<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a BilgeBucket List from April 26, 2006. Dr. Phil McGraw has taken television and America by storm. Thanks to his exposure on The Oprah Winfrey Show, he was given his own television show in 2002. He\u2019s even appeared in that crowd pleasing movie, Scary Movie 4. Every afternoon, Dr. Phil offers folksy advice for &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=508\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Dr. Phil\u2019s Top Ways To Improve Your Life&#8221;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[165,168,167,166,169],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/508"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=508"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/508\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":637,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/508\/revisions\/637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}