{"id":3115,"date":"2013-11-26T21:23:11","date_gmt":"2013-11-27T04:23:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=3115"},"modified":"2020-07-02T23:59:24","modified_gmt":"2020-07-03T06:59:24","slug":"the-capitalist-pigs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=3115","title":{"rendered":"The Capitalist Pigs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We think the funniest thing about football and collegiate sports are some of the school mascots. For instance, the Banana Slugs of the University of California at Santa Cruz or the Artichokes of Scottsdale Community College evoke a hilarious image, especially if you saw a big banana slug or an artichoke depicted on a football player&#8217;s helmet. So in this vein we present our feature, Helmet Hilarity, featuring the helmets of little known collegiate teams and their unconventional, zany mascots.<\/p>\n<p>Today we present the helmet of the J. Prescott Worthington School of Financial Management Capitalist Pigs. This elite business college in the Gold Coast region of Lake Wannamoola, Connecticut really teaches their students the value of a buck and many graduates go on to successful careers bilking millions from unsuspecting rubes as brokers on Wall Street, politicians in Washington D.C and televangelists in the South.&nbsp; The highlight at home games is when school mascot, Rich Uncle Oinkie, whose picture is prominently displayed on the teams helmet, roams the stadium in his chauffeured, custom designed, open top, Cadillac golf cart, lighting cigars with $100 dollar bills, sipping champagne, eating caviar and throwing cake out the window so some lucky <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">peasants<\/span> fans can scramble for the crumbs. The climax of the season is the game with their rival college across the lake, the Marx School of Liberal Arts Commie Bastards.<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of capitalist pigs, be sure to check out the <a title=\"The BilgeBucket Gazette Store\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/bilgebucket\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BilgeBucket store<\/a> where you can purchase fine <a title=\"The BilgeBucket Gazette Store\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/bilgebucket\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BilgeBucket gear<\/a> just in time for Black Friday. <a title=\"The BilgeBucket Gazette Store\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/bilgebucket\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY!<\/a> <a title=\"The BilgeBucket Gazette Store\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/bilgebucket\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY!<\/a> <a title=\"The BilgeBucket Gazette Store\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafepress.com\/bilgebucket\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY!<\/a><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3132\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3132\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?attachment_id=3132\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3132\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3132\" title=\"capitalistpigsfootballhelmet\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/capitalistpigsfootballhelmet.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"414\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/capitalistpigsfootballhelmet.jpg 500w, http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/capitalistpigsfootballhelmet-300x248.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 85vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3132\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The football helmet of the J. Prescott Worthington School of Financial Management Capitalist Pigs features compassionate conservative school mascot, Rich Uncle Oinkie.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We think the funniest thing about football and collegiate sports are some of the school mascots. For instance, the Banana Slugs of the University of California at Santa Cruz or the Artichokes of Scottsdale Community College evoke a hilarious image, especially if you saw a big banana slug or an artichoke depicted on a football &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=3115\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The Capitalist Pigs&#8221;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,794,35],"tags":[73,530,367,795,797,796,98,810,798,799],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3115"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3115"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7598,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3115\/revisions\/7598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}