It’s no secret that the Republicans have been against Obamacare since day 1; I mean they shutdown the government because of it. But at the same time, they’ve offered no plans of their own. But on the contrary…we found an article in our August 31, 2006 issue where the Republicans came up with a fantastic plan that had their party all a- titter with excitement.<\/p>\n
Responding to the fact that almost 46 million Americans are without health insurance, conservative congressional Republicans are pushing for a new faith based health plan administered by churches instead of insurance companies. Proponents estimate that this new prayer health plan could save people millions of dollars.<\/p>\n
Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, who is also a doctor, described the new plan. \u201cThis affordable plan works in the following way. The participant phones in a prayer to the health insurance prayer network and our authorized prayer speakers, who are much holier than you, say a prayer for your health and well being. All this for only $50 a month for a family of four. Of course, if you want holier people, like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell to pray for you, you can opt for the $75 a month plan; for a family of four. What a bargain! Then there is the elite plan where President Bush will pray for you for $100 a month. Just think; God\u2019s chosen one praying for you and your family! You\u2019re sure to stay healthy! These plans don\u2019t cover single people over 18, because in the Lord\u2019s eyes, you must be married to a member of the opposite sex, before your life is worth anything. And no atheists, non-Christians, tree-huggers, free-thinkers, anti-War protesters, abortionists, gun control freaks, gays, lesbians, Democraps or other liberal wackos. To be covered you must convert to Christianity and Republicanism. And what\u2019s more, you don\u2019t need to see a doctor since you\u2019re connected straight to the Lord. It looks like I’m out of business, heh-heh!\u201d<\/p>\n
Many in the religious community hailed the plan as revolutionary. \u201cThis new health care plan is exactly what America needs,\u201d said televangelist Jerry Falwell. \u201cEvery thinking man knows that germs, bacteria and viruses are just the creation of the liberal elite and smartsy fartsy scientists. The only way to truly protect you and your family against illness is to pray, pray, pray.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pat Robertson, host of the 700 Club<\/em>, said \u201cThis is truly a great day for God-fearing Americans everywhere. Soon the evil, godless liberals will die off because they can\u2019t participate in this plan and won\u2019t want to convert. Then America will be cleansed and ready for the Rapture, which will be coming any day now, according to my communications with the Almighty.\u201d<\/p>\n The Union for Advancement of Science spokesman Dr. Alfred Maxwell shook his head and said, \u201cThis is absolutely unbelievable. What is going on here? Have we taken a step back into the Middle Ages? What\u2019s next? Witch burnings and inquisitions? I…I…I\u2019m utterly speechless. This does it. I can\u2019t stands it no more. I\u2019m moving to Canada. Sure they\u2019re idea of fun is curling, but at least if I get sick up there, it won\u2019t put me and my family into debilitating debt for all eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n Many Americans seemed relieved about the new health plan. Janice Wilcox of Shannon, West Virginia said, \u201cHallelujah! I never did trust those scientists and doctors. They said my lousy diet and no exercise was causing my obesity and bad health. Well nuts to them. All I need is prayer! I\u2019m going for the President Bush plan. He talks to God, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n Karl Billings of Tarrington, Georgia said, \u201cAt last; an end to all that evil scientific research and knowledge gaining. That stem cell research was just a liberal coverup for murdering innocent embryos. Maybe now people will do the Lord\u2019s work and start killing some Muslims!\u201d<\/p>\n Joe Jones of Lake Runamucka, Tennessee said, \u201cFinally! An affordable risk-free health plan that\u2019s sure to work.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s no secret that the Republicans have been against Obamacare since day 1; I mean they shutdown the government because of it. But at the same time, they’ve offered no plans of their own. But on the contrary…we found an article in our August 31, 2006 issue where the Republicans came up with a fantastic … Continue reading “GOP’s Prayer Health Plan”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[144,341,61,60,8,68,3],"tags":[252,69,22,20,27,9,461,763,781,21,596,348,188,19],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3109"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3109"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3312,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3109\/revisions\/3312"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}